SO OCD / Tik tok

I can totally see why this would be triggering and can see the spiral it has put you in. I’ve had my own share of spirals from my own triggers and still may as I go forward. If you haven’t I highly recommend seeking out a therapist that is trained in ERP therapy. I had my doubts when I was in a really bad spot but it has been a life saver. A big part of my recovery too, that is still ongoing, with my SO OCD theme was learning that it’s not the thought of being gay that was scaring me but being someone I knew I wasn’t. OCD just wants you to think that. This definitely did not seem like something I could do when I was in your spot, but accepting the idea that I could be gay, has helped me considerably, but it is something that is still a work in progress. In the meantime, if you do pursue ERP, cut out social media as much as you can along with google, they are not your allies. Try to identify other compulsions you may have too, such as reassurance seeking, and limit them as much as possible. If you’re going to google anything look up tips for recognizing rumination and NERs. OCD can be very scary at times, but one bit of reassurance I will give you is that you are not alone. Believe in yourself and push yourself when you can. It’s not going to be easy if you do pursue ERP therapy, but it will be incredibly beneficial in the long run

I feel this! I’ve found that with all of my ruminating / googling that people take one gay / lesbian experience that they or someone they know had and make it seem as though anyone else with the same experience is also gay / lesbian. You can appreciate, look up to, and admire someone without wanting to be romantic and sexual with them! OCD loves to twist though and use it against us. I 100% understand what you’re going through!!

Struggling with SOOCD too and this is a lot of what I work on in ERP. The "if you've ever thought about being with a women (I'm a woman)" or ever felt uncomfortable in a locker room, etc. The reality is humans look for meaning in their story so someone who realizes they are LGBTQ will find meaning in these past events. There are many people who have not questioned their sexuality who have thought about whether they are attracted to someone of the same sex or felt uncomfortable in a locker room, etc. It is recall bias (I'm a physician so this comes up a lot in my work). Past events only matter if something significant happens in the future. If not, these events are meaningless to the individual, and they may not even remember them. That said, I am very much struggling with this right now and using these videos and comments with the "if you experienced this, you must be gay as part of ERP". Generalizations are just that, generalizations. Hope today is better.

Thank you, I appreciate you both