how do you get out of your ROCD thoughts when your being intimate with your husband/bf? I recently discovered I have ROCD and while it finally feels like I finally have an answer to why I question my relationship/my love for my husband all the time, I don’t know how to get out of my head when I’m being intimate with him...I’m constantly analyzing when we kiss ‘did I feel a spark?’ And ‘why am I not able to get turned on?’ Or ‘why does having sex give me anxiety?’ I’m struggling so much with this and sometimes I feel sorry for my husband that he married someone like me ?

I have hocd and rocd too. There's good ERP on here actually, do you know how to use it? This sounds scary, but I've found that giving into the fear is the best way to get over hocd. I've accepted that I'm a lesbian (even though I'm really not) and the panic has diminished so much. When I get intrusive thoughts I don't try to push them out, I even agree with them and say "yeah, ok". This doesn't mean acting on thoughts, it only means accepting that they're there and they're not going to hurt you. You have to sit in the panic until it diminishes (it definitely will eventually). After you realize that these thoughts and ideas aren't a real threat you become free from them altogether. As far as the ROCD goes I'm not too sure what the ERP is like because I've been focusing on fixing my hocd first. I've heard that writing prompts about your worst fears related to your relationship coming true and then reading it over and over and not doing compulsions is effective ERP for rocd. If you're doing your own ERP and you're not comfortable with your husband knowing I would suggest going somewhere like a library, so that you could throw it away after you're finished. That way there's no chance of him finding it, misunderstanding and/or getting his feelings hurt. I've been through all of the same stuff as you regarding the rocd too, although for some reason its diminished a lot on it's own. I try my hardest to live every moment with my boyfriend in the moment. When I do get intrusive thoughts regarding my boyfriend I handle them by having no expectations at all. Don't try to attach a meaning to the thoughts about him, because they're all probably caused by being scared of having the thoughts in the first place. It's hard to feel anything when you're anxious. It can cause sexual dysfunction.

Thank you all so much ? it seriously feels so nice to have people going through the same thing and that we’re all in this together-I’m going to try ERP and just hope that it will help me start to feel some relief....It’s tough but I have to believe things will get better even if it feels hopeless now

I felt things like that, i feel you

Do you do ERP?

No, i dont know how. I just began to investigate, but my worst obsessions are relationed with sexual stuff. Now, the worst is that i think i homosexual but i have no evidence in past, is something that i dont wanna feel but i cant convince me. I wanna do ERP but i dont know why

How**

Thank you!!!!!