- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Well this is going to sound like reassurance because I really don’t know what my brain tells me I’m, but is all ocd, once I realize the game ocd was playing, I said fuck that and fuck reassurance, I might be gay, trans, pedophile, violent, evil, not always right, fuck that if I’m well idk, how can I ever know if I’m. And if I’m well idk if ever will have a good answer so, I realize that even if the anxiety is high there is a way to make it higher and make my brain even higher state of anxiety and that is liberating,
- Date posted
- 5y
Got you bro, I think that there is a difference between wanting uncertainty to get out of it and just jumping into it willingly without knowing what might happen, and that is scary shit and I just go for it every time it throws at me. Once you leave all reassurance behind guess what is going up anxiety and uncertainty. And accepting that is huge, that’s why I’m so happy to be uncertain about my sexuality and gender, even if it scares me. Again, I do want to be uncertain and act according to my values. But thank you though it did made me unsure about wanting uncertainty, and I thank you for that. I don’t appreciate the reassurance of if I look down on I will know my gender, please don’t.
- Date posted
- 5y
I was just hit with tocd and that’s it :(
- Date posted
- 5y
ME ME ME ME I HAD ROCD THEN HOCD THEN TOCD MIXED WITH HOCD AND NOW I'M BACK TO HOCD! It's the most annoyingest shit I've ever dealt with in my entire life.
- Date posted
- 5y
And triggered right now as I’m writing this and I really want this to be in my life, and I want to be unsure and still do the things that are important to me.
- Date posted
- 5y
I had HOCD then it evolved into TOCD, and now I have both again unfortunately.
- Date posted
- 5y
Hey what’s up cyka, how you been bro. Man that shit sucks, but is all good we might be whatever our thoughts tells us but we don’t know and that is okey.
- Date posted
- 5y
I’ve been doing decent at best really, TOCD and HOCD pop up here and there. Although HOCD is at its extinction due to treatment. It’s pure garbage we have to go through this. I hope you’ve been doing well also.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah bro, is hard and everything you do is related around that fear, but fuck it, if we are we are and we will never know. Until you realize you don’t need reassurance to live you won’t move to live on
- Date posted
- 5y
It’s amazing how your brain can go on and off between themes.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
- Date posted
- 15w
i had recently been triggered to have so-ocd. its been on my mind non-stop. (i am a heterosexual female) and my mind has been all over the place questioning if i have been in denial the entire time. ive always had people tell me they sort of got that vibe it it never really affected me until my own mother had her suspicions. so i would constantly get triggered un public around the same gender, while knowing my true sexuality. ive always been attracted to men but as of recently ive been having super bad anxiety to where i cannot eat or sleep and feel weak all the time. it was like that for a week or so. now im in the calm where i have been trying accept the uncertainty but it still isnt fair as im getting triggered. im a little worried because it feels like i have been lying to my parents the entire time although ive never had the desire to be with the same gender. and i keep getting intrusive thoguhts that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable. its all starting to affect my friendships as im constantly getting triggered with the intrusive thoguhts. i feel a little less anxious compared to how i was a couple days ago. im really scared on why im having these thoughts now when i have been having romantic feelings for a guy the past year or so. ive also been struggling with false attraction and loss attraction to men. it makes me feel uncertain of my life the entire time
- Date posted
- 14w
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
- Students with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Older adults with OCD
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond