feeling like a creep

I decided that I'm going to allow myself to have one "bonus" compulsion, and for the rest of the day I'm going to just let it pass and eat it up. So I've just did something that bothered me. I was cycling in a narrow street and near the end of it I saw from afar a girl passing by, I didn't have a good look, I just saw her by side. But I was struck by the style and the hair color. Like she seemed my type. Then when I got a closer look I noticed that she seemed a bit smaller than what I initially saw and I started having doubts, worrying and thinking about the potential implications of myself. It bothered me. I couldn't really figure out what I saw and just decided to let the distress pass and go eat at the bar. But I couldn't bear the uncertainty and I just had to make sure. So I decided to go directly at home and along the way confirm what I saw. There was a moment where she got closer to a car and I was hoping that she would enter from the driver door but she didn't, and in that moment think I saw her face and she looked young. I feel very bad. I still don't really know, but it basically confirmed my suspicions and I think she was really young and that I had seen wrong at first because she was a bit far for me. I feel like a creep but I've tried to rationalise and letting it go. Did I do something bad? Am I a creep?

POCD

ivefailed.

Date posted: 1y

But why didnt i feel immediately disgusted though? I just felt uncertainty and discomfort. I think I'm lying, I don't think I felt really bad, but only uncomfortable. I rationalised this way: I saw something and confused for something else, I realised it wasn't what I thought but I wasn't sure, so I had to check and when it confirmed my suspicions I dismissed it, while feeling a bit of distress and uneasiness as a consequence of what happened. I feel like I should feel worse. Maybe it's because I did go through a lot of triggering episodes every day for the past week and some days ago I decided to let distress go through me and practice erp, not ruminating

EndOCD!

Date posted: 15w

Just want a response

So one day a couple months ago I saw some posts on threads pop up on instagram and they said I’m 17 and horny and 18 and horny or I think I even remember see a 16 year old one. I’m 20 and I remembered that when those popped up I clicked on them and I don’t know if I did it out of true attraction or out of the urge to make my anxiety go away. I feel like often times if I see something that says any number under 18 even if it has nothing to do with age it could be talking about season 17 of a tv show my mind immediately goes what?? 17??? And then I click on it to make my anxiety go away. So when I remembered all of this I downloaded the threads app because I wanted to see if I could get reassurance and see if I could rekindle how I felt in these moments. When I opened the app all I saw was posts like that but everyone claimed to be 18. The only problem is none of the girls looked 18 they looked like 14-16 so I started to panic I and worry that because I clicked on the threads in the past it popped up more and I was a pedophile for that. All of the accounts all pretty much had only fans links so at that point I was like well they have to be 18 then but now I’m worried that maybe it’s a scammer and they are using underage pictures of girls and putting them on onlyfans. Which I know is out of my control but I just feel like a Pedo and like I did something wrong. Does anyone have any advice? Or have any similar situations/ similarities with this?

Em2003

Date posted: 14w

Pls input, I haven’t panicked this hard in months

My whole life I’ve kind of stared at people’s crotches whenever they’re wearing something revealing a bikini. I feel like I’ve always searched to see if I can see an outline or something or anything because it’s so revealing. It kind of feels like curiosity I don’t know how to describe it. I did this before my OCD got bad and I do this now. I feel scared that I’m doing something I shouldn’t be. I’m scared that I’m doing something perverted. What scares me the most is that about a year ago this happened with my boyfriend sister. She was 15 at the time. I didn’t think much about it. I stared, searched and moved on. But now I really question if I did something awful or if my intentions were perverted. I’m questioning whether it’s okay to even have curiosity about this. Maybe this is normal and people don’t analyze their behavior, I don’t know. I had a theory that this has been a compulsion all along but right now it feels fully out the window. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I really need someone’s input or perspective. Please.

isharemycigs

Date posted: 14w

What do I do

when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do

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