Cheating icd got the best of me

For the past fee days my ocd has fixated on my boyfriend losing one condom i cant get over it Then a few things he said im over thinking now I was drunk (for context) He then asked me to check if his brother replied on whatsapp and my intrusive thoughts got the better of me and i checked his archived messages i didn’t look properly because i felt bad so i just came out of it- but now i just feel like a horrible human. I dont want to be someone who doesnt trust their boyfriend i feel like ive abused his trust Anyone got any advice here

Username: linohaulinohau

Date posted: 30w ago

unfortunately i’ve been there! it was me acting on a compulsion, i just could not believe him when he would tell me he wasn’t cheating or never would. so i went through his ig… i ended up telling him (you don’t have to do this) and told him i just cannot shake this fear. eventually this is something i addressed in therapy, and it ultimately came down to me needing to be okay if he did/does cheat on me or break up with me. that im okay on my own. and f*** him if he did! i feel a little better as in i dont have as intense of a fear, and we have had several open discussions about my fear and now he’s more understanding. i dont think its 100% but he knows sometimes i just need to hear explicitly “i love you im not going to cheat on you” and i’ve gotten better about needing the reassurance so often. i think being open with him is best if you feel like you can be. telling him its not personal but also making sure you can come up with a plan for what’s going to make you feel reassured in the relationship. for me i just need to hear him say it and for someone else it may be needing something else. just need to come up with what works best for you so it doesn’t reach a breaking point. ie checking phones w/o permission or getting yourself too worked up. if hes a good partner he will understand and want to support you ♡ i hope this is helpful

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 16w ago

@linohau I cant believe i missed this but thank you for the post! Im spiralling on this topic again but your response is really helpful🥹

Username: Man. I’m sad. Man. I’m sad.

Date posted: 30w ago

Out of my experience I’ll say maybe you’ve been mistreated in the past (cheated on) which led you to think that way and it’s totally normal Atleast I tell myself it is

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 30w ago

@Man. I’m sad. Its more just ocd and him having lost a condom so my ocd went overdrive into “omg what does this mean”

Username: emilyxo17emilyxo17

Date posted: 30w ago

i went through a similar thing before i knew i had ocd, i would constantly convince myself that my dad for some reason was a bad person and like you i would go through texts and photos and stuff hoping to eliminate the anxiety. Yeah maybe it’s not a great thing for us to do because im sure the people we love would hate to hear that we may distrust them in some way but please have some compassion for yourself! You’re going through a mental disorder that’s extremely difficult and u didn’t ask for this, none of us did! be kind to urself, im sure ur an amazing girlfriend!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 30w ago

@emilyxo17 Thank you for this🥹 its so true ocd makes everything seem urgent like i have to check or something bad will happen or i have to check because i cant take the uncertainty :( its so sad but ill try be more compassionate towards myself🥹

Username: gray1

Date posted: 1y ago

Gave into a compulsion….

I had a really good day yesterday because I was able to manage my thoughts and identify them as intrusive. I had little to no anxiety and actually felt pretty stable throughout the day. Then, I went to sleep last night and had a triggering dream that I cheated on my girlfriend. I would never do that :( I hate these thoughts. If the thoughts involve my girlfriend, I feel like I have to tell her…..any advice on this? I ended up telling her and she said that I’m telling her to feel less guilty in the moment but at the expense of her feelings. This made me feel terrible 😞. The last thing I want to do is hurt her but I just feel like such a bad person having these thoughts. Please help if you have any advice 😕

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Confession - cheating ocd

I have this thought where i think ive chested on my partner 2 years ago when drunk at a party I really really dont think it happened because i only had the thought a few months ago “what if i cheated at this party with this guy who i barely even know” I see a future with my boyfriend and i don’t want to confess but i just feel like i have to JUST IJ CASE but i know it could hurt him so much and it probably didnt even happen I cant just ask the guy who i think i cheated with because were not friends and dont speak so if i message he will think im some freak Anyone in a similar boat or overcome this I just don’t know how i can move forward without confessing

Username: Mayla123

Date posted: 1y ago

Help please I can't

I was a night out last saturday. I was talking to everyone in the bar. I had a similar thing 5 years ago and in the mean time a few times but not that sticky. Because I knew that I would panic when I drink and dont remember every little thing, I told my friend who was playing at the kicker table about every conversation that I had the evening. At the end of the night I knew almost everyone in the bar. At the end of the night I met a girl whi rememered me from that night 5 years ago. I guess that triggered me? I went to the toilet multiple times and remembered thinking about "what if I think I had sex tomorrow?" And imagined some stuff.Something like that I can not recall it a 100%. When we were going home I cried so much about meeting that girl from 5 years ago, i was just going crazy. I know think that I did have cheated on the toilet and that cryiing was because I did cheat. So the next day I guess everything was fine I was talking about the evening with my friends, they said I was a hyperactive squirell. And we were talking about the evening. Wehen I came home I told my bf that I missed him and told him about the evening. Something felt very off. The next day I was checking my body and saw scratches on my inner thigh.. i knew that I was peeing in a bush of thornes but somehow my mind just didnt want to accept it. Now 7 days later I have really disturbing images in my head of cheating on that toilet. I remember so much if that night but not everytime I went to the toilet. I am so sad.. i think its not ocd. It is real and i just surpressed it. I was feeling so good in that relationship of 8 years with my partner I love him more than everything, but I can nit let that images go. What if I thought having sex is no cheating... or that I needed to know how it felt like to cheat so I can be sure I didnt do it 5 years ago. I cant handle this!!!! I hate myself so much.. I somehow got out of this miseries of disturbing images with other real events like 5-6times but this time I think, it must have happened. What if I had mean thoughts about my boyfriend. Wat if I cheated on him 5 times ....

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Cheating icd got the best of me

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