getting my hopes up

hi i think this isn’t ocd related but it happens sooo much to me, like i set myself up to the idea that i’m going to talk to my boyfriend later in the day right, let’s say 6pm. then at 6 i tell him hey can we facetime? and he’s like oh noo, i have a thing with some classmates so i can’t. WHEN I TELL YOU i immediately go down, i get anxious, sad, angry at myself for getting my hopes up, and i end up taking it out on him. does this happen to anyone? i always feel so alone when this happens (like right now lol) thanks in advance

Relationship OCD

Username: Brennan JBrennan J

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

I do this too. Exactly this. She will say she wants to talk on the phone or FaceTime (currently long distance) and then when that doesn’t happen it makes me feel so depressed and then I get suspicious about her cheating or that she doesn’t love me anymore or something bad is happening and she won’t tell me. I e gotten better about not snapping at her but I still do sometimes. I just feel so bad and I’ll pop off with some smart ass comment then on top of it all I’m laying there all night feeling guilty like damn dude why can you not handle disappointment without acting like a child. Like I can’t even sleep when it happens.

Username: mceronsmcerons

Date posted: 30w ago

@Brennan J yes!! this is what i’m talking about, thank you for sharing your experience 🫶🏻 what have you done to help you not snap at her?

Username: Brennan JBrennan J

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

@mcerons Trying not to get my hopes up helps, but that’s not something that really works all that often. I just try to not react for as long as possible, which I have to be careful with or I’ll ruminate myself into being angry and convinced of some shit that never happened. I wish I had better advice for you, I literally just bite my tongue for a bit and find something to watch on YouTube or something until I calm down a bit and then either let it go or depending on the circumstances I’ll calmly explain that it hurts my feelings when I’ve scheduled my day around something and then she cancels our plans to do something unimportant or for no reason. It also helps to remind myself that I do the exact same shit sometimes and I would think it was really unfair if one of my friends got angry with me because I just was feeling a bit off so I found a way to get out of plans we had. It’s been a real strain on our relationship at times so I understand how frustrating it is. Especially when you know it’s happening again and you just can’t seem to not react. It’s just another compulsion, so don’t beat yourself up too bad. I do think we have a responsibility to not let our compulsions burden others but nobody is perfect. I hope you can make some improvements there, it’s definitely possible :)

Username: Brennan JBrennan J

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

@mcerons Oh and to address you not thinking it’s OCD related, or definitely is. It’s a reaction to rumination.

Username: thebubblyonethebubblyone

Date posted: 30w ago

hey, i totally get how that feels, feeling let down and then the whirlwind of emotions that follow can be super overwhelming. 😔 it's tough when expectations don't match up with reality, especially when you've been looking forward to something. you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called "unstuck?" when i was dealing with similar feelings, this free AI OCD therapy tool (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my NOCD therapist recommended really made a difference for me. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it offers personalized support that can help you navigate through those moments of disappointment and manage the intense emotions that come with them, just like an OCD therapist would. it's been a game-changer for me because it provides step-by-step support when things get tough. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: JanMichael23JanMichael23

Date posted: 30w ago

hey, i totally get how those moments can feel super overwhelming, especially when you've been looking forward to connecting with your boyfriend all day. it's rough to have those expectations flipped on you, and feeling alone in that can make it even tougher. 💔 by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called "unstuck?" when i was going through similar feelings, this free AI OCD therapy tool (unstuckmyocd.com/try) that my NOCD therapist recommended really made a difference for me. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it can provide personalized support for managing those intense emotions and expectations, kind of like having an OCD therapist in your pocket for when things get tough. it's really good at helping navigate the ups and downs, especially when you're feeling let down or alone. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: leham

Date posted: 5y ago

Anyone with HOCD/ROCD have any tips about going on a date when the thought of it makes you want to die of anxiousness? I’ve been talking to this guy on tinder who seems nice and everything but every time in the past that I’ve started talking to someone and say yes to a date, I literally cancel the next day cause I’m so deathly afraid. This isn’t even necessarily ocd’s fault I’ve always just been scared to death of this kinda thing but obviously having hocd, and what I believe is pre-rocd thoughts, make it seem literally impossible. But I WANT it. I think about having a boyfriend all the time. Ocd is so detrimental to everything you want it’s so frustrating. Ik- news flash haha. Anyways. Should I go? Is this bad timing- will I make everything worse for myself? He’s really cute and seems really nice. Jeez idk idk idk.

Username: crazyfeelings

Date posted: 4y ago

This kinda isn’t related to OCD but I just wanted to rant: Ok so my boyfriend asked me to hang out tomorrow and now I’m scared to. Ugh I’m so tired of this anxiety shit. I make up excuses and say I can’t hang out even though I want to. I think I have social anxiety, but when I don’t hang with him my anxiety isn’t bothering me. I just hate that feeling. I need help can anyone please give me some advice. I could really use it :(

Username: Evelyn4416

Date posted: 4y ago

I wondering if this is an OCD thing or just anxiety what I experienced yesterday: so I’ve gotten into the habit every night to watch my shows with my brother before bed, like we’ll grab a snack and head to his room to watch about 3 episodes and then we go our separate ways to sleep. I also go to bed very late out of bad habit. So last night I felt like I wanted to try going to bed early and spend some quality alone time so I told him if it’d be alright to skip our usual tv viewing and he said okay. So I went to do my own thing and sat down to play my video game for a bit. But during it I started to feel so guilty and bad for canceling our thing, like I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I kept thinking what if he felt bad and I ruined our night and just having this horrible guilt in my gut until finally I couldn’t take it anymore and went to his room saying I changed my mind and we could watch, to where he was like ...okay if you want to. I was just surprised how guilty I felt about it and felt like I failed myself by instead of sitting with that guilt to try and cancel the horrible feeling. Thoughts?

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getting my hopes up

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