Feelings

I read a lot of other people’s posts where they deal with intrusive feelings, and sometimes even emotions? Would anyone care to further explain so i can understand this better? it would be very much appreciated.

I posted about this the other day and a therapist responded that if it has the usual ocd tells, then it’s most likely ocd. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. They say even if it’s new for you chances are others have had the same or similar ocd experience. So, this is new for me and just like when I get an intrusive thought i’ve recently been getting what I call intrusive emotions. I will feel something like sad or jealous in a situation when in reality I don’t feel that way at all. For example, my ocd targets certain family members and if one of them is watching tv and thinks a woman is pretty i’ll suddenly feel sad or jealous when I don’t actually care or feel that way because that’s my family member and I don’t think about or feel for them in any inappropriate way. Also, sometimes when I have a harm intrusive thought my ocd will say that I want something horrible to happen to my family member and I will feel like I actually want it but that’s not what I want or how I feel at all. Is there anyone who has had this or something similar happen?

I know I am going a bit cuckoo because my period is coming up, but lately it feels like every intrusive thought I have, I *like* it. Like I genuinely feel like I like it, and then I immediately panic because I start checking. Mentally, emotionally, whatever it is. And I know that is a compulsion. I *know* that. But it feels so real that I cannot stop myself. Every single time I check, it still feels like I like the thought, and it is driving me absolutely insane. It is especially the POCD thoughts. They feel so real. I feel like something is going on mentally, like some kind of confusion or glitch, because I swear I was not like this before. I would have intrusive thoughts, and they would feel real, but not *this* real. And I do not even know if this is normal. I know OCD is **supposed** to feel convincing. That is the whole thing. But I have never experienced it to this extreme. I have never gotten the same thought so many times and still felt like, “Oh my God, I did enjoy it,” even after checking a million times. It is like no matter how many times I check, it feels like I liked it. Especially during intimacy :( and it is making me lose it. Then I start thinking, “Well, I am in distress, so maybe that is proof it is not actually me.” But right after, I am like, “What if I am only panicking because I care about what society thinks and not because I actually have morals?” And then I spiral again, wondering if maybe I just care about how I am seen rather than who I am. I am panicking so much no today. I had to take my Xanax today for the first time in two months, and I needed three separate doses. I really need some support right now.