- Date posted
- 1y
False attraction
Does anyone else experience false attraction and if you do can you explain what it feels like to you?
Does anyone else experience false attraction and if you do can you explain what it feels like to you?
Yes I do. It feels like a rush of adrenaline and not in a good way (like the moment before a car accident). Flushing, GI upset, shortness of breath, tunnel vision q. It is tough though because anxiety/distress and arousal are controlled by the same physiologic mechanism so it can feel somewhat the same. I am conscious of the fact that in the past when I was actually interested in someone it was exciting/happy/butterfly feeling. The false arousal is absolutely not. I hope that helps and resonant for you.
@Midwestmother This is exactly what happens to me. Sorry may be a stupid question but what does ‘GI upset’ mean. But yeah I do get a horrible adrenaline rush. When I go out, If I see a lesbian couple or masculine lesbian sometimes I get this and it is so annoying does this happen to you as well?
@lalalalal166373 By that I mean nausea, abdominal pain. I think it mostly happens when I see women with a somewhat masculine appearance or women portrayed in hypersexualized ways.
@Midwestmother That’s interesting! Mostly when I think of this false crush I feel this INTENSE anxiety. I sometimes feel like I’ve convinced myself the crush is real.
I have this exact same thing and I thought I was crazy and I’m getting scared does anyone have any tips? My situation is my brain is trying to convince me I have a crush on people I don’t. It’s very difficult and it makes me so nauseous and anxious. I’ve had a thought that I had a crush on my teacher, my best friend, family, there’s more but a lot of this is so embarrassing and I don’t know how to control it😔 but I know I don’t but it’s like the 1% is making me think otherwise.
Hello! If you still want to chat about it, I'm all ears
@IloveDieguito hi sorry it’s quite a late reply but i just wanted some advice, lately i have been feeling false attraction to everything, masculine women, any women that are over sexualised on social media, overthinking anyone who has literally just brushed past my arm and feeling this anxiety rush as if i liked it is awful but how do i know its false attraction?
Just feels like normal attraction to me
Yes and when it happens it sends my head into a spiral but deep down I know I am not sexually attracted to that person it’s just my hocd doing this to me
@Will 2339002 deep down i know the thoughts and feelings aren’t true but when i spiral i don’t even know what’s real or fake, do you get this too?
@lalalalal166373 Exactly that. It’s what is so annoying about the whole thing. I know I’m not gay but my brain still does this to me
When I get this it’s like a severe physical exhaustion and trembling, paired with dread. It does not at all feel like real attraction, but it seems the same in the moment. Then the anxiety and need for avoidance comes, along with rumination. It’s really horrible, but usually fades within a day. Sometimes it leads to other obsessions and compulsions later.
I have made much progress with this, but it still jumps up and scares me sometimes.
so, my intrusive feelings started over a thought about a guys arms being attractive, and i still think big arks are attractive, but i hate his face? and his personality, so would it still be false attraction? if i like his body but not his face or personality because i have every single false attraction sign, but i just like his arms/body. someone please lmk!!
Just curious, how does the false attraction feel to you? I believe people say they are different. I’m not reassuring, just interested in other peoples experiences. Mine feels like my chest is crushed with anxiety, when I notice a good looking male, it feels like I’ve just missed being hit in the car (that fear sensation). I feel sick after the thoughts. I also feel my face screw up which may be a compulsion which I’m trying to stop.
Has anyone else gotten into a relationship before realizing that it not only started but continued due to false attraction? So in November I got out of an admittedly toxic relationship (unfortunately on both ends) and I had been in it for a year and three months. If I'm being completely honest within the first 3 months I realized that it was false attraction, but I didn't want to out right break up with him since he was also not mentally well. So, I stupidly started self sabotaging. As I said, it ended up being completely toxic, we got into plenty of arguments that rarely got resolved. There was worse things that happened than the arguments, but that's besides the point. I started it when I shouldn't have. At most I had somewhat of an aesthetic attraction to him. He had a look that I really liked at the time (long hair 😭.) But, I honestly didn't like anything else. His personality wasn't very good, he was rude as a "joke" (it was never funny to me) also he was 11 months younger than me. I know it's not an insane gap by any means, but it's just not something that I want in a relationship. I prefer my partners to be same age to like a year older. Not to mention there was a pretty clear maturity gap. If I'm being completely honest, I saw him as a friend (sometimes barely that.) Like I said, I'm aware that it was completely on me and I was wrong for it. But, has anyone gone through something similar? Hopefully not something too toxic.
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