a nightmare delegimitized me from having triggers

After that triggering dream where the worst thing could have happened, I don't feel legimitated anymore to feel genuinely distressed by triggers, to call compulsions as such. It all feels disingenuous. They don't feel valid anymore. Like crocodile tears. Because the one thing I didn't want to happen probably happened, that undoes everything else. I feel like a hypocrite, to feel distress and worry about those things, being anxious of that particular fear because in that dream it happened. I felt arousal and probably genuine attraction, I'm afraid that I could have agreed with it. Maybe it isn't true, maybe it didn't happen, maybe I'm misinterpreting, but then why I was left with that impression? All because of a damn dream, because ocd, all my triggers intrude even in my sleep, because I can't even be safe in my dreams. This is the worst mental illness.

POCD

Username: Princess LoritaPrincess Lorita

Date posted: 28w ago

Baby, you are ok. It was a nightmare and those suck ass. Every single thing you just wrote doesn’t scream “this is a bad person!” This screams OCD flare up. This is just really really bad anxiety and you are ok baby. Breathe. You are going through a panic attack and you need to take your medication, reach out to your therapist and know that you feeling afraid of not being a safe person is the very reason I know for a fact you are! Bad people don’t give a shit if they are bad. They don’t give a fuck who they hurt. You are an amazing person and you take on way too much responsibility for something that’s just a thought babe. You are ok baby.

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 28w ago

I'm not afraid of harming because I know I would never do that. I'm afraid of beinh attracted, and it's the fact it probably happened, that I can't tolerate. I can't accept that it happened. I can't live with it. I'm still going because I have the hope that them dream wasn't the way i think it went because i dont quite fully remember it.

Username: regretfulrainregretfulrain

Date posted: 28w ago

I’ve had intrusive dreams since childhood, my first one being when I was probably only 5 or 6 years old. Nightmares are not hidden desires, they are more common when you have a specific stressor such as an OCD theme. Your brain takes those fears and unconsciously thinks about them over and over and over. Have you considered keeping a dream journal to discuss these intrusive dreams with your therapist? It can be scary to write down intrusive thoughts, images, and nightmares but that gets you one step closer to recovery.

Username: Princess LoritaPrincess Lorita

Date posted: 28w ago

@regretfulrain This! Everything written here is very very very good advice!!!

Username: randomuser!

Date posted: 39w ago

have you ever had a nightmare about a theme

so i haven’t been dealing with false memories or real event odc for a whole now but i literally just woke up from a terrible triggering nightmare at first i was ok and relieved when i woke up but now doubt is setting in and the part is in the dream i think the person is made up. but i have doubts i think i got this dream because i was thinking about kissing my partner right before i fell asleep and yesterday i was looking for a video of my little cousin and i had an intrusive “what if” but i was able to brush it off. so it may be that all i know is that i keep getting flashbacks and i hate it it’s disgusting and i hope its not true. and i don’t think i could accept it if that is the truth its just so wrong

Username: Nameless000

Date posted: 29w ago

dream crushed my reality, repost

i've had a terrible dream this morning about my fears getting pretty much confirmed. I've avoided to address this the whole day doing a rehearsal, going at the bar with friends and playing games till 2 AM. I don't know how to move on from that dream. Something horrible happened. I felt genuine arousal and now everything seems meaningless. That dream basically confirmed my fears and invalidated all the things I reassured myself about false attraction and staring ocd. I don't know how to proceed after that dream. My hopes of being a good person got crushed. All is meaningless now. I don't even feel that much distress about it. Probably because I shut it down and didn't fully address the dream, reality hasn't kicked in yet I feel defeated. I feel like a **** and my identity is in shambles. Even at school I felt defeated and was wondering what's the point. "What's the point now of even avoiding sophomore and junior girls""who cares feel attraction like your friends do" and I felt like I stopped caring about my moral code and when I realised that I didn't like it. It all feels meaningless. The one thing I didn't want to feel I felt and now l'm empty. I don't even feel distress no more.

POCD

Username: Sasquatch1

Date posted: 29w ago

I feel isolated

One thing that I’m struggling to bear with, is how isolating this feels… I spent all evening yesterday ruminating over intense groinal responses in response to intrusive thoughts. And then I had a dream where I experienced sexual arousal due to being in bed naked with someone… Not sure who, and I didn’t touch the person in the dream… But now my ocd is putting the two together and I’m triggered to the next level right now… I’m trying so hard to dismiss this as a stupid dream but I’m finding it increasingly difficult. I’m so lost, I don’t know what to do…

Sexual Orientation OCD

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a nightmare delegimitized me from having triggers

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