- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh crap I just realized I’ve given you a load of reassurance:( and myself too. Sorry about that
- Date posted
- 6y
Girl I thought I was asexual too at one point!! But then I met my boyfriend ? but yeah, honestly, I don't mind being bi. But I'm just scared I'll turn fully lesbian. Like I wouldn't mind a threesome with a girl and guy at all, I'm adventurous. But to be like fully invested in a female my whole life is what is causing me OCD. Because I only want my bf :/ but my mind keeps throwing these "what ifs.." and "does that mean..." at me and its ruining my days ???
- Date posted
- 6y
I get you girl. It’s funny because i’m so chill about everyone else’s sexuality like i’m so accepting, but the idea of myself being bi or lesbian is just so scary ?!?
- Date posted
- 6y
I personally think that maybe coming out was a wrong move BC now you don’t feel good about it....sometimes with ocd it’s a compulsion to confess certain things... like telling people you were bi might’ve been a compulsion... if you don’t feel right about it there’s a chance you could’ve never been bi at all. Women can be attractive to you but that doesn’t mean that’s you’re preference. Girls do it all the time when they admire other girls...it doesn’t make them gay or straight....they’re just forming their own opinions on their appearance... but I think you could still be straight.. but don’t rely completely on this...I’m only 14 ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I guess !! And i didn’t really come out to people, I sorta just told a couple friends what I was going through and said I’m not sure what my sexuality is and that I MIGHT be bi. If I was actually gay or bi, I suppose this would have been a good first step and accepting yourself and coming into who you truly are. But that isn’t the case.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm experiencing the same thing as you Girl. I'm 20 and used to watch lesbian porn as a kid, but gradually, I started to not like it. Fast forward to today, I've been in a happy 2 and a half year relationship with my boyfriend and these thoughts started creeping in. It scared the shit out of me because my boyfriend is really the closest person I've ever got to and this relationship is very important to me. So I csnt help but think my OCD found the perfect opportunity to nibble at the things I fear the most (losing my boyfriend). It started off as ROCD, then HOCD and then TOCD and now I'm back to HOCD. It's just annoying because at this point, I don't even know if it's HOCD or not, I've tried coming out to my bf as bi. Which felt amazing, like a weight lifted off the shoulders. But now my mind is telling me that I'm just flat out gay. Which is contradicting because I am still sexually and emotionally attracted to my bf. Its the most annoying situation
- Date posted
- 6y
it’s the worst and most confusing thing ever isn’t it! I guess we just have to accept the uncertainty. It’s so hard for me especially because i’ve always speculated if I’m somewhere in the asexual spectrum and I question if i’ve ever really experienced sexual attraction. I’ve enjoyed sex with a guy but it’s more about how they make me feel, rather than them being attractive - if that makes sense ? so GOD KNOWS hahaha
- Date posted
- 6y
The thing is, nobody, even scientists, understand female sexuality. Females who self identify as straight have like 10% concordance between their preference and the content that turns them on. Many women are turned on by rape scenes, but they don’t want to try it out in real life and don’t really need to do anything about it. Your preference is what matters. No one have to come out about their private fantasies, it sounds insane to me. Also remember that taboo things are what turns us on the strongest. I’ve read that lesbian couples often prefer gay male porn for some reason. Doesn’t make them straight and (usually) doesn’t give them OCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
OMG Right???
- Date posted
- 6y
Do you want to kiss a girl or get intimate with one?
- Date posted
- 6y
if yes then your question is answered
- Date posted
- 6y
it’s okay! Your message is nothing I haven’t read before. You’re correct - just have to learn to accept the uncertainty and ourselves x
- Date posted
- 6y
Hope you’re doing better
- Date posted
- 6y
And we’re here if you need to rant
Related posts
- Date posted
- 11w
Hey everyone, I’m reaching out because I’ve been going through one of the hardest mental spirals of my life, and I’m hoping someone can relate or shed light on what’s happening to me. About 4 months ago, I accidentally came across a trans porn scene. It didn’t do much at the time, but later it triggered this overwhelming intrusive thought: “What if I’m gay?” Since then, it’s been absolute hell. I’ve always been into women—emotionally, sexually, everything. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a girl I love deeply. But after that moment, my brain started spiraling into nonstop analysis. I began checking how I felt around men, whether I felt attraction, whether I was in denial, whether I was lying to myself. Literally everything became a test. I got stuck in this loop: • A thought pops in → panic • Try to solve it → brief relief • Another thought → worse panic • Repeat. At times, it got so bad I couldn’t feel anything at all—toward my girlfriend, toward women, toward myself. I started doubting everything. Some days, I feel emotionally flat, like I’ve lost my personality. Other days, I wake up with a full-body jolt of “truth” like “I’m definitely gay”—only for it to fade into numbness again. I’ve also noticed that I get short bursts of peace when I stop reacting, but then the fear comes back louder, like “See? Now you’re accepting it. That means it’s true.” Therapy hasn’t helped much so far—it felt more like general counseling. They told me to sit with the thoughts, but didn’t clarify if this was OCD, identity questioning, or trauma. That just made it worse because now I’m back to thinking “What if I’m just rejecting my truth?” I’m exhausted. I’ve lost connection to everything I used to love. • I want to love my girl again the way I used to • I want to feel desire without overthinking • I want to trust myself again I’m not looking for reassurance—I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something like this, and if this sounds like HOCD or identity OCD. Thanks for reading.
- Date posted
- 11w
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
- Date posted
- 8w
So I’m afraid that I have HOCD, but at the same time that I might also be homosexual. Is that possible? I have all the typical compulsions… checking for attraction, analyzing thoughts, analyzing the past, analyzing emotions, searching the internet. Is it really HOCD? When I see anything related to LGBT, I get strongly triggered. Sometimes I observe how my body reacts around people, but most often I check with ChatGPT to calm myself down, although it doesn’t last long—it depends. I also compare myself to other straight women who look like lesbians, or to lesbians who look like they’re straight. I had a phase where I was analyzing my body… whether I have too much hair, whether I have an Adam’s apple, whether I act like a lesbian without realizing it. I also have the typical intrusive thoughts like “did something from the past actually mean something, or is it a sign?” “am I just lying to myself?” “what if I’m in denial?” “what if I’ve ignored signs my whole life and lied to myself?” “what if I’ll never be able to fall in love with a guy?” “what if there are too many signs and proofs and it’s true?” “what if it’s not HOCD at all?” And much more. But now I’m scared that it’s both—that I have HOCD and that I’m homosexual. I’ve cried multiple times because of this and it’s been going on for 7 months. Some days are better, some are worse. And there’s so much ‘evidence’ that I won’t even list now—over these seven months I’ve found so many things from my past and dreams that I feel like there has to be something to it. I’ve also had around four panic attacks because of this. And I truly believe I have HOCD and that I’m also homosexual, which is killing me and it feels horrible. I just want to be sure that im straight and be at peace. When im doubting and thinking that im a lesbian i feel like im not at peace and i hate it. But u feel like i just need to accept it but i don’t want to and i just want to have a boyfriend, kids but im scared that it’s not possible for me because im lesbian and i actually just think that i want a boyfriend but in reality i don’t. Ughhhh help me.
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