My boyfriend of 4 years ghosted me yesterday

| don't even know what to say plus i don't speak English very well. One week ago we were discussing about living together (we're long distance). Yesterday he told me he was looking for plane tickets for the next week. | got suspicious and asked why the hurry if something bad was going on He said babe stop thinking that, it's nothing bad, I'm not going to break with you 1 hour later Just 1 hour later he calls and tell me "Sorry. | have to break up with you. I'm getting you blocked on everything because i fell you will manipulate me to go back to you otherwise" and then he just ended the phone call. 20 seconds and i couldn't even say anything just stared at the screen like a dog who was being abandoned. | just don't understand. | talked to a friend of him they don't understand either How do ¡ stop thinking about this. I'm going insane. Totally insane. This was like one of my biggest fears. | don't get it my mind don't get it can't sleep can't breathe I'm taking anxiety pills talking to friends who doesn't understand either | just want things to be normal again this is a nightmare, all the time I think he is going to unblock me call me and say he's sorry he was overwhelmed or something | feel like dying alive

Relationship OCD

L_e_d

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

It sounds like your boyfriend was going through something big— like a mental breakdown or something that really doesn’t have to do with you. Clearly something big happened in his life and he is trying to take control of it by breaking up with you. I really don’t think this has much to do with you at all.

cetse

Date posted: 1y

I feel that's the worse part. I'm convincing myself he's going to rethink it once he gets calm but what if he doesn't? I'm terrified it's the love of my life truly is. I don't know how to not think in a million bad things that might be happening right now

L_e_d

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@cetse I know the uncertainty is so difficult, but just sit with the discomfort of that uncertainty. Maybe things will work out, maybe not. I’ve gone through a breakup that I thought would kill me, like everything I feared that would happen did, and I survived. I realized that even if the worst thing did happen and I did feel absolutely heart broken, it is just a feeling in the end. I can handle and process grief over time and heal and come out stronger. You can too! Stay strong!!

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