- Username
- SpiceyPisces
- Date posted
- 22w ago
Struggling with compulsive documentation due to fear of false memories.
False memory? Documentation
So, usually when I am at work (or really any social situation at all) by myself, I immediately start to panic and want to compulsively document and record my actions and surroundings. I feel like my life is a 24/7 reality show because I am convinced if I don’t document when I’m alone, that something bad happened to me whether that be someone did something to me or that I did something bad to someone and just won’t remember or recall it. It is my biggest nightmare and makes me feel so weak that I can’t be alone leisurely anymore because I’m going to convince myself bad things happened unless I take pictures or record myself. It is exhausting and years ago I was never like this. I would love to take drives and listen to music and look around stores for fun and peace. I can no longer do that, and am having a hard time even being at work alone unless I have a trusted co-worker with me and even then I still get the compulsion to document things. I’m having a very hard time trying to work ERP therapy in with this specific obsession.