Username: SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

Soocd or denial

Hello I’m 16 I have always had girlfriends and liked girls about 5 months ago I was on a call with friends and they said I was gay and made me take a gay test I got gay and I was very worried and had lots of anxiety I had intrusive thoughts and images at first I have lost full attraction to girls fast foward to now not that much anxiety or intrusive thoughts my mind says oh that guy is hot and I get like nerves idk if that’s anxiety and I always stare at guys I don’t know if that means I’m bi or gay or if it’s ocd I was never like this before though never questioned my sexually never someone please explain

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: RiverhRiverh

Date posted: 27w ago

Ive struggled with HOCD or SOOCD. Im a gay man and had obsessive thoughts that maybe I was straight but somehow in denial. Id do alot of “checking” behaviors if ever I saw an attractive female. Id test myself to see if thinking about her could get me aroused. It was really a difficult period. Learning that I was not alone and there was a name for what I was experiencing really was eye opening. I learned a couple things that helped me. First, when ur so in ur head - and excuse the corniness- ur not in the bed. Meaning, its very normal to loose attraction when ur sooo anxious. Also, sexuality is on a continuum so most of us, and especially when we are young, can find males and females attractive. There is no fool proof test. So can you be ok with where ur at? Someone once asked me a question that helped: What happens when a “straight” 95 year old man is unable to perform sexually. Is he gay? I say no. So important to sexual orientation is who we love. Its really about love. I love men romantically. Not sure if this is too much but I struggled for a real long time and get the anxiety. I find anxiety is s clue that Im trying to control. I used try to push my anxiety away. Now im learning that its has come to inform me. I think getting to talk with experts in this field is very helpful. Best of luck!

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Riverh The thing is it happened from one day to the other I was fully comfortable in being straight I didn’t have attraction because I was depressed because my dog passed then I was on a call with friends and I got gay on a gay test and I was very anxious a lot of intrusive thoughts I don’t get turned on too guys either

Username: Nicolas:)Nicolas:)

Date posted: 27w ago

You ever got the feeling like you were atracted to a girl? But I mean like it felt like the truth

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Nicolas:) Of Course I have I have liked girls and dated and cried over girls yes

Username: Nicolas:)Nicolas:)

Date posted: 27w ago

@SpriteDude13 I was talking to the gay man, I know you obviously were atracted to females

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Nicolas:) So what does this make me

Username: Nicolas:)Nicolas:)

Date posted: 27w ago

@SpriteDude13 A person with a mental illness, a straight person with a mental illness

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Nicolas:) OCD is tuff man

Username: RiverhRiverh

Date posted: 27w ago

@Nicolas:) No. It was more a fear that I was secretly denying it tho. Yes, its debilitating.

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Riverh So you have always liked guys never girl?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 27w ago

@Riverh I have this too, but I check w a lot of gay shit, only problems is I get aroused for real to the gay shit sometimes. It’s depressing and I know I don’t like it, but the last week I’d say 50% of the mental tests have backfired and caused a boner.

Username: ZoroarcanineZoroarcanine

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w ago

Hey kid, I was trying to pull up one of my old posts to add to my bio and I happened to notice that you posted this exact thing before and if I remember correctly, I think I’ve seen other posts that you have shared that have also focused on this gay test that you have taken. Have you started ERP therapy? It sounds like this test could be a good thing for an exposure to focus on BUT if you have not started ERP therapy, I highly do not recommend trying to come up with an exposure focused on this as it seems to be a high distressor. I could not imagine going through SO OCD at your age. Pot calling the kettle black here, but figuring out your sexual orientation right now is not important. What is important is hopefully recognizing that you may have OCD, and may need professional help in learning to live with these distressing thoughts

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Zoroarcanine It’s so scary I was never like this always been straight

Username: ZoroarcanineZoroarcanine

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w ago

@SpriteDude13 I totally get this, and know what you’re going through and how tough it all is. Have you started ERP therapy at all or talked to your parents about it?

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Zoroarcanine Yes I have talked to my parents about it

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Zoroarcanine I just want to go back to my old self

Username: ZoroarcanineZoroarcanine

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w ago

@SpriteDude13 You’ll get there, but it takes time and work. I really wish these thoughts were just a switch you could flip off but they’re not, but you can overcome then

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Zoroarcanine The attraction feels real and my mind says oh he’s hot this ocd is confusing me

Username: ZoroarcanineZoroarcanine

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w ago

@SpriteDude13 It will, it does for me too. I haven’t had a day out in public in months where my mind doesn’t just register if a dude is good looking or not and just remind me of these thoughts. It’s annoying and it feels so real, and I wish my brain would just go back to normal. From my past experience with SO OCD I know it’ll go away but it takes a lot of time. Right now your brain is wired to register is he good looking, is she good looking, do I want to have sex with them, etc. OCD thrives in confusion and distress and just wants to sow doubt and keep you stuck. There’s a lot of things your mind may spin off of this, but you are not your thoughts right now

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Zoroarcanine Thank you I’m just concerned that it’s not ocd even though I have been diagnosed and that my sexuality has changed

Username: ZoroarcanineZoroarcanine

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w ago

@SpriteDude13 I actually had a post I made yesterday about that. You’re definitely not alone

Username: SpriteDude13SpriteDude13

Date posted: 27w ago

@Zoroarcanine Where is it at

Username: ZoroarcanineZoroarcanine

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 27w ago

@SpriteDude13 If you click on someone’s sexual orientation tag on their posts, it should show up as one of the recent ones from yesterday

Username: haidar7878

Date posted: 1y ago

Sexual orientation ocd

Hey guys, im new to the community my name is haidar. So i been attracted to this boy in my class for the past month. My minds been so stressed out because im not 100% certain about my sexuality. Sometimes i kind of like girls but im mostly towards men. I fear that im gonna lead this boy on and im not even 100% of my sexuality. Does anybody else relate?

Username: Liamj514

Date posted: 1y ago

Hocd or denial

I was diagnosed with ocd like 2 months ago. I have excessive rumination about my orientation. As long as I can remember I’ve only been attracted to woman and never with men. I’m having intrusive thoughts like I’m gay and that u have to come out to everyone because your gay. I’m just worry I’m in denial.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: ….mmocd

Date posted: 47w ago

hocd

For as long as i can remember i have always been boy crazy. I have always had crushes on men, had sexual interactions with them, etc. I’ve never thought about a woman in that way. I remember around 2021 I had a “what if I were gay?” thought but after around a week it went away. Now the thought is back but 100x worse. Mid December 2023 i suddenly got the thoughts again. I can’t really pinpoint what triggered it, but it may have been the TV show I was watching. In the show a woman around her 30’s dated men and even married one but then all the sudden ended up marrying a woman later on. I starting to think “what if that happens to me?” I couldn’t fall asleep for days and would cry throughout the day. I eventually told my mom about this as I kept having anxiety attacks and she said well if you don’t only like men then that’s ok. But the thing is that I want to like men. I’ve always imagined my life with a husband and kids. I don’t understand how something like this could happen basically overnight. I used started therapy for my anxiety but how do I bring this topic up? Does anyone who has soocd/hocd think this sounds like ocd or could I really just be in denial. My days now consist of these persistent thoughts. I’m always on here or reddit/quora looking up my symptoms to see if anyone else feels the same. i don’t wanna feel like this anymore. i wanna go back to november when i didn’t have these thoughts. I’m still having the thoughts about a month later but the anxiety isn’t as bad which is making me feel worse. i feel like i should be more anxious considering i want to be straight. this isn’t me.

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