- Date posted
- 1y
I feel like a bad girlfriend
Having rocd spikes again. Today I have these memories with my ex and I get so anxious that I miss those memories or I am just lying that I have forgotten him. We had a pretty toxic relationship and I was obsessed with him back then and he was not. That’s why I tried to get him attention to me so bad because he rarely did that. In my current relationship I don’t have to even think about that I need to work so hard to get my boyfriend’s attention because he gives me that all the time. I really love him so much but I am scared of these thoughts. They make me feel like I am “ cheating “ on my boyfriend or something like that. I also feel bad because I have get those thoughts I think other boys are attractive. I know you can think something or someone is attractive even you are in relationships but it’s still makes me feel bad. Especially because when I get anxious it’s feels like I like those boys so much that they make my heart races. Sometimes I even get groinal. It can also happen even I know that I don’t find those boys attractive so yeah. I also hate that my mind says that I found them more attractive then my boyfriend even I think my boyfriend is most handsomest boy ever. I also hate if this attack his closest friends. I saw TikTok of his friends and immediately the thoughts begin. I also got thoughts that I like those boys who I get intrusive thoughts with. Especially if I have been nice to them or think they are fun to hang around AS AS FRIENDS but still my head just bullies me.