Lightbulb moment 💡

Probably the biggest was when I conquered rumination. That stopped the months-long periods of anxiety, which I’d had my whole life up to that point.

First session of ERP! I didn’t actually believe facing my fears would heal me until I did it. Still, it surprises me every time.

Egosyntonic vs. egodystonic

When I realized content didn’t matter. No matter what my ocd was attacking, all was treated the same.

I’ve had so many of these , they are wonderful. One of my favorites was when I realized that I can do the opposite of whatever my ocd wants me to do both as an exposure, and as a way of following my values. Two huge things at once!

Getting diagnosed and realizing that I am not crazy, I don't have to hide my thoughts anymore. It's just OCD

When I realized I was finally doing what I wanted, not what my OCD wanted. I was finally separating myself from my disorder.

When my therapist pointed out that I would never be satisfied (by engaging in my compulsions)

I asked my therapist, “When are we going to start doing exposures?” And she said, “We’re doing them right now.” It literally didn’t sink in for two weeks and then one day I was like ohhhhhhhh

Realizing I just have to do nothing. It is more unlearning. Sure there are helpful tips and tricks and ERP was necessary at first for me at first but at the end of the day just realize what’s happening, that you will never ever ever win the battle with your thoughts, trust it is OCD, and just do what you wanna do anyways no matter what OCD says. The answer will always be the same, to not engage and just focus on what you’re doing. There’s no other magical answer that is better maybe other ways of saying it but…trusting that I already know what to do.

I’ve had many, but one of them was realising when it was OCD speaking vs real me. Noticing sensations of ocd anxiety vs me.

Learning RPMs and how to use them was very helpful.

I would say two things: one was the the realization that if I make the rules, I can change them. The other, and this has to do with compulsions, is the concept of delay — as in, I won’t do it again now, I’ll do it later. Then the urge disappears. Or I forget, which produces that same result.,

When I did an exposure that I really did not want to and actively avoided. Then one day I threw caution to the wind and did the exposure. Has made OCD less scary for sure.

That there was a program that if I follow will help me

When I realized that a thought that comes with a feeling doesn’t mean it will happen/come true

The moment I did ERP and realized that my worst fears were only in my head

Recognizing and being mindful of when I’m ruminating on an intrusive thought.

Understanding no one can guarantee certainty no matter how hard you try it will never be 100% fail proof. Bad can happen 🥺

I don’t remember things have clicked way too many times in the last month. I can remember the first

Embracing the idea of “I can’t know”. It provided a surprising amount of relief, rather than stoking the anxiety of uncertainty!

1. When my therapist helped me understand that what I Feared was loss of connection and how I'm already losing connection by what I'm doing. 2. When I finally understood that I can't just do the exposure, I need to embrace the uncertainty. And that I WANT to.

Noticing and labeling “this is OCD” not me and my personal identity.

Realizing that I am not my brain. I am not my thoughts and my thoughts aren't ME! 💡moment. My brain and and my mind are not the same. That my brain has been hijacked by this OCD jerk, and needs a little rewiring of the circuit board, so that it doesn't combust, over heat or fall apart. One day at a time. I am relearning all of this again during this recent flare with OCD