Let’s talk about Therapy

Thank you so much for sharing this! I am sure you worked very hard for that sweet freedom, I am glad you get to enjoy it! Keep up the good work!

Hey there! What ERP tools do you currently have fluency with? Have you engaged in ERP previously with a clinician? Even if the skills were built around another subtype or theme, they are easily transferrable to a new topic when OCD changes focus. If you haven't engaged in formal ERP just yet, here are a few resources on the topic of ERP and ROCD! https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/what-is-erp https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTDv6mzrkU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK3PCMRsn8I

@Jennifer Dalimonte i cant go to therapy, i have to heal on my own

@Mariabae - Hey there, while I would never want to make you feel coerced into therapy. I would like to inquire about what makes you believe you have to heal on your own?

@Jennifer Dalimonte because no one can help me, i have to help myself, I feel absolutely miserable. This feels so real, like I don’t want to be with him anymore. I don’t feel happy when I’m with him like I used to, and that terrifies me. It makes me wonder if our love was ever real, if I ever actually loved him, or if I just wanted a relationship and couldn’t let go because he’s my first boyfriend. He even moved to my city for me, and now I feel like a horrible person because I feel so disconnected from him. Even he told me that he feels like he’s losing me, and that shattered me. But the worst part is, when he said it, I didn’t even know how to react—I felt numb. He keeps asking me, “How can I help you, Maria?” He’s told me everything he possibly could, over and over again, but I stay stuck in this endless cycle of thoughts. And the more I overthink, the more I start to believe them. It feels like I don’t love him at all. It feels like the thoughts are not just thoughts anymore, but the truth. Sometimes my mind tries to blame him, even though he hasn’t done anything wrong. I feel fake when I talk to him, and I can’t shake the feeling that I’m just pretending. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to believe that this is real, but it feels like it is. It’s like I’ve lost myself completely. I can’t go to therapy, and I don’t know how to get out of this. I just want to feel normal again.

@Mariabae - Thank you so much for sharing all of this. I hear how you feel alone in this and how you can see how what OCD is asking of you has not been beneficial in the long term. It may have given a little bit of temporary relief, but that relief hasn't lasted. Maybe instead of trying harder, let's try differently. It's challenging to embrace the discomfort and choose to not do OCDs bidding, to not answer its questions. I have full faith an ERP specialist could help you in this quest. We do this each and every day for hundreds (maybe thousands?) of people. Having a therapist in your corner helps you challenge OCD as a team. They teach you OCD's tricks, help you find challenging but manageable ways to push back, listen to your fears and support you each step of the way. While you might be able to heal on your own, it will be probably be a long, scary and difficult road. Having the support of the therapist can make it all more manageable. Here are a couple more resources for you; https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/does-erp-therapy-work-for-everyone, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RSDLmnle3E, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24lFaIPLDOs

@Jennifer Dalimonte thank you so much

@Mariabae - You are very welcome, we're always here for you, when you feel ready.

Thank you for sharing this! Look at you, 4 sessions in and feeling ready to do the hard work. Through embracing the fear, the unknowns and acting in alignment with your values (not what OCD says is important) you will regain your life bit by bit. In case this is helpful, here is a video about the recovery journey. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jthku7FADao

Thanks so much for sharing! I'm glad you found ERP and continue to use the skills to manage the impact OCD has on your life!

@Jennifer Dalimonte It’s not just a skill, it also has to be a habit. I found that whenever I stop doing ERP on a daily basis, I get worse. I was able to reach subclinical symptom level, but I was only able to reach it when I had daily ERP for extended periods of time. It’s almost like a medication which you have to use in the right amount of dose. Just having the medication lying around in the cabinet is not enough. So yes, skills are important but you also have to use them. Also thank you for being a therapist, you are awesome 👏

@Philipp2024 - Love it! Living that ERP lifestyle :) keep up the good work!

OCD can be so sneaky, huh? Telling us we must know in advance if this evidence based treatment will work, or else something bad will happen. By getting us caught up in compulsive worry and trying to figure it out, it keeps us stuck. It takes time to learn how to embrace the fear and uncertainty and live in alignment with our values. Give yourself some grace and time. Here's a good resource on embracing uncertainty, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. Hi my name is keeren I'm from south Africa and can't afford therapy so I took nathan perterson online master your ocd course and it's helps but my obsession is that I will not get a job because I dont have a matric certificate how do you accept the uncertainty of that cause it can affect my financial life my core fear is I will end up a begger on the street, have you ever worked with someone with this obsession, any advice I will appreciate, thank you

@No matric certificate - Hi there! Thanks for the question and context. I have absolutely worked with individuals who have had this or a similar obsession. When we're challenging OCD latching onto a topic, we always need to embrace the uncertainty around it. Even if we had a matric certificate, there is no certainty we will be fiscally stable forever. I have never watched Nathan's master your ocd course, but I am sure he included leaning into uncertainty while reducing compulsions! In case it is helpful to hear this in another way, here are a few resources for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s and https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/5-strategies-for-breaking-the-cycle-of-rumination

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. Thank you for the advice and resource article, much appreciated, God bless

@No matric certificate - You are so incredibly welcome!

Look at you doing differently, and seeing the results of that! Keep up the good work! Thank you for sharing :)

Happy for you. I am in a very bad place !😭

Hey there, this can be incredibly typical with OCD. It loves to catch us when we're not fully present/awake/ etc. and bring about fears that we could do something that does not align with our true values or morals. You mention having harm OCD, which makes sense with this fear. Have you gone through ERP before? In ERP we teach how obsessions can be more than just thoughts, for example an OCD obsession can be the urge you experienced. Here are a couple of resources you might find helpful! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD3oPawFDMo https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-harm-ocd-guide-to-ocd-subtype

Hey there! Money constraints can be such a challenge. Kudos for still seeking support and guidance. What kind of resources are you looking for?

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. - Hey thank you for replying, I need resources related to SO-OCD

@ThatOCDGuy - Gotcha, I would highly recommend the NOCD YouTube Channel (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCU4ycJNahDdtGbANIhcbifQ), the podcast series (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJwbxpxualYolyXMcZcajQZzjkI2tu5JC) and any of the blog posts (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJwbxpxualYolyXMcZcajQZzjkI2tu5JC). These should give you a great base for learning about OCD and how to challenge it effectively. I hope this helps!

@Anon56 - Hey there, I'm happy to help with that! Here are a few of my favorites on the topic. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-sexual-orientation-ocd-so-ocd-your-guide-to-this-ocd-subtype https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBzXLJup60E https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwukKuJ4JQI&t=33s

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. - Thank you!! I am trying to expose my self to a lot of the lgbtqia+ people, and being around women , but sometimes those thoughts turn into compulsions and I don't enjoy getting entangled with them. I suddenly feel so sad when I think I like someone of the gender that I was never attracted to, more than anxiety it makes me sad, and the anxiety is usually less, but it hasn't gone completely those thoughts affect my moods a lot.

And to add to the conversation, money constraints were definitely one of my biggest setbacks initially. I think there is a deeper conversation to be held about that regarding mental health across the world in general.

Thank you so much for sharing this! I'm glad Eric met you where you were at and gave a safe place for you to share everything OCD was bringing up for you. That certainly took a lot of strength and courage, I'm glad you're getting back to living your life!

Thank you for the vulnerability in this share! This all makes total sense. I'm glad to hear you have been able to reduce ruminations and find some relief from intense distress. I agree with your psychiatrist, an OCD specialist would be a beneficial next step. As they get to know you, your history and how OCD is using your past experiences against you, they can guide you in how to address the symptoms. Sometimes we actually need to treat OCD first before treating trauma. Other times, there is more benefit to working through both at the same time. An OCD specialist would be able to share their insight into what may be most beneficial and help you make an informed decision.

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. Thank you so much!! I really appreciate you taking time out of your day to reply!! I think I'll look into booking a call :)

@nae nae - You are so welcome! Let us know if you have any additional questions!

Hey there, thank you for the vulnerability here. You are correct that everyone's timeline to recovery is unique. OCD can be a very challenging opponent. OCD also loves to latch onto 'what if this isn't progressing perfectly' and 'what if recovery never happens'. It can be sneaky in how it sticks around. If you're hoping to make more progress, you will need to consistently embrace the uncertainty and continuously use response prevention to move towards eliminating those compulsions. We need to remove the compulsions from the cycle to see actual measurable change. Here is a resource you might find helpful, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMHrLlitdCA&t=7s

Hey there, thanks for reaching out for support. OCD loves to go back time and time again to a topic that will keep us stuck. Stuck in it's trap, its cycle and thus giving it more and more power over our lives. Unfortunately, this means our lives are shrinking and becoming less aligned with our values at the same time. I would encourage you to consider what your recovered life would look like, write out behaviorally what you will be doing in this recovered life (dawn to dusk), don't focus on feelings- we can't control those- just the behaviors. Then I want you to align each decision you make day in and day out to move you closer to that recovered life. This will not be easy, it will be challenging and effective in helping you move through this. I assume that in this recovered life you are living at home with your kids, being the type of parent you hope to be. Don't let OCD take that away. Find manageable steps to move you in that direction. Does this help?

Hi there, I am so sorry this happened to you and I am grateful for your courage and vulnerability in sharing it here. I have spent a great deal of my time sitting with individuals and processing how hearing the diagnosis of OCD and what it entails makes "my whole life make sense now". They have felt alone and confused for years, not understanding what was going on and not getting the appropriate help. As an OCD specialist myself, I would encourage you to give us a shot. I understand OCD is latching onto 'but what if it's not really OCD' (a classic OCD move) and the unfortunate manner in which your clinician responded, to try to put barriers in place to keep you from getting the correct help. It will take courage, but I think you have that based on what you've shared above! A specialist support and guidance is truly the most effective way to move through challenging OCD and changing the trajectory of your future!

Hey there, ERP treatment can absolutely help with this! It will help build distress and discomfort tolerance skills both within and outside of driving situations. You'll work through learning how to respond differently to your triggers and body sensations, gaining confidence in your ability to handle their presence while choosing to keep moving forward with your day. An ERP specialist would be with you every step of the way!

Hey there, thank you so much for your question. While you can work through OCD on your own, it will likely be difficult, confusing and take a long time. You're welcome to use our YouTube channels videos and podcasts for some direction on this (https://www.youtube.com/@treatmyocd/featured). I would encourage you to consider meeting with and OCD and ERP specialist who could confirm your diagnosis and support you in challenging OCD with ERP. It can help immensely to have the support of an ERP specialist to learn about OCD, talk through your experience with it and craft a collaborative plan on how to use ERP to eliminate it from your life. OCD can be pretty sneaky in how it presents itself, a specialist can help educate you on those ways and point them out as they arise for you, reducing the time spent feeling stuck. Feeling scared is very normal, I have worked with many teens who shared with me how scared they felt before our first session. They were terrified I would judge them, be mean and all sorts of other things. After treatment, they have all shared how grateful they were for support and guidance, they are now out enjoying their lives again!

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. Hello ma'am thank you for the support but i have one more question i am so sacred not of being judged but being homosexual... I dont know why but i dont want to be .. And i feel like doing therapy will make me realize that I'm actually homosexual and was in denial...some people say that this is my exploring age...im pretty sure about myself.. what should i do? You mentioned that you've worked with teens before were they homosexual and realized it later after therapy? And same is going happen to me?because they were scared i am too..

@ONE INDIAN GIRL - Hi there, you are very welcome. This is one of the sneaky ways OCD can present that I was referring to earlier. Here it is latching onto "but what if therapy proves this scary thing to be true" which then keeps us from engaging in the exact thing that will help us move towards long term relief. You are not alone in this fear of starting therapy. Here are a few resources I hope are helpful! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FI0PpZH-PnM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCWfwU32KdM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RSDLmnle3E

Hi there! Thank you for sharing this and voicing your questions! Yes, I have absolutely heard of this, it is far more common than you may believe. I am glad to see you have found a specialist and I agree that creating a hierarchy is necessary to begin the work. It will be scary to write it out and begin, OCD will likely become louder. This is normal! I'm going to link a few free resources for you below to help you understand a little more about what it going on and what you might be able to do to challenge OCD. I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHrvYRJnqO0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWXaVvXB_6s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyiV4CK0k0U https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. - thank you so much!

@Vladimir-from-ekb - You are most welcome!

Hey there, great question! We have a blog post on this topic, check it out here! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-get-affordable-erp-therapy

Hey there, thanks for sharing this. This experience is quiet common for people. I'd like to reframe this a little bit, hopefully it's okay. It's not actually you who wants the reassurance, it's OCD. OCD is demanding reassurance in hopes of finding certainty about a topic, however as I'm sure you've experienced it's never enough. It's always going to ask for more or again, because it isn't actually seeking the truth, it's trying to control emotions. So, when someone doesn't give it reassurance, or not the right reassurance, it's going to have a temper tantrum and be upset. It's not getting what it wants and it's mad. Our job is to let OCD tantrum away and just be kind to ourselves in the process. It's going to be hard at first, but it will become more manageable over time and OCD will learn how to handle not receiving what it wants. Here's a quick video that you might find helpful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1O3RGnLjRM

Thanks for sharing this! It can be so hard to go through the process of acceptance. Have you considered allowing an ERP specialist to support you through the process of challenging OCD? It can be helpful to collaborate on ERP strategies and have individual guidance on the application of ERP.

@Jennifer Dalimonte I have not I should probably make an appointment as soon as I can thank you

@spooky artist - You're very welcome! Please let me know if you have any questions about what to expect :)

Hey there, thank you so much for this post. I'm sorry you're having to endure this. It does sound like pretty classic OCD. I would encourage you to meet with an ERP & OCD specialist to have a diagnosis confirmation and talk about the ERP process to help you move through challenging OCD and getting back to living your life. There is so much hope for recovery! I'm going to link a few resources below that I hope are helpful! https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/how-to-deal-with-uncertainty-advice-from-a-therapist https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/5-strategies-for-accepting-uncertainty https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTDv6mzrkU

Thank you so much for sharing this! I completely understand this fear, it's real! This is why connecting with a specialist in OCD and ERP is so important, they understand the ego-dystonic nature of these thoughts and support you in treating OCD with ERP.

Hey there, thank you for reaching out with this question, I apologize for the delay in responding. Yes OCD can absolutely mess with memory. Here is a link to all of our blog posts on the topic! https://www.treatmyocd.com/search/Memory

Hey there, I am sorry to hear how OCD has a strong hold on your life. I wouldn't wish OCD on anyone either. I am going to link our NOCD YouTube and Blog below, they both have wonderful resources that are free for anyone. You can search the topics about OCD that you are most interested in learning about, we have information on almost anything you could need! https://www.treatmyocd.com/learn/blog https://www.youtube.com/@treatmyocd/featured

Hey there, thank you for sharing this! I apologies for the delay in responding. Hair pulling can be pretty quickly treated with a type of therapy called Habit Reversal Training. I hear that you wouldn't be able to afford working with a NOCD therapist for this, you may be able to find free resources on the topic online! Here are a few resources for you to review; https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/related-symptoms-conditions/ocd-and-bfrb https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcYFE9QTDuc

Hey there! Thank you for reaching out with this! I apologize for the delay in responding. Here are a few great resources on what to do with these thoughts :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK3PCMRsn8Ihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTDv6mzrkU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiukCDkNPcY&t=1s https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd

Hey there, rumination can feel almost automatic and very hard to disengage from. Please know it is possible, it will just take some work! With repetition, it becomes easier! Here are a few resources on how to get started with stepping out of the rumination cycle. I hope they help! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXIllLvRUZE&t=1s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCw5sBiYDmE https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/the-rumination-trap https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/5-strategies-for-breaking-the-cycle-of-rumination https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s

How wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing!

What a great question! Yes absolutely this can be moved through with ERP. I'll link a few resources below to give you more information on what it might look like and entail! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NOCD_PM_US&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAt4C-BhBcEiwA8Kp0CaXsNHi72GpqPtnUXFRMIntMdTwsZDSBfnes7h9amHzu7J7d4DmWFRoCnfsQAvD_BwE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNi7wVGe-To https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEWzOAGaypY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RSDLmnle3E

Hi there! I unfortunately am not able to check on this, I do not have access to your real name or account information. You can reach back out to our Care Team, they would be happy to support you through making a decision. All NOCD therapy is virtual (not in person) and we do not prescribe medication at this time. We can support you in finding a provider who would! I am sure after dealing with OCD for years, you are ready to feel better. We are here to help, support and guide you in this!

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. Oh I thought you could look my emsil.up and find put. Thanks!

Hey there! An ERP therapist would be perfect to support you through this. I know these thoughts are scary and OCD will try to use them against you, ERP can teach you how to not allow OCD to run your life anymore. I'll link a few resources for you below, I hope they help! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EEriK-0VGk&list=PLJwbxpxualYpcX3SPEgNVbTEOI7gXeA5x https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg-VdyA9MoQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLkX7MRYGvc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cC7KHpVmtQ&t=38s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8klz5dS7Zj0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riKw294RZMw&t=63s

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. Thank you

Hi there, thank you for reaching out for support. While I can't provide you ERP therapy, I can provide you resources on how ERP would suggest you respond to these OCD obsessions. I will link a few resources below, I hope they help! https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/scrupulosity-ocd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULk2w0y_lCI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sjq9AFJQK6Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhKmY1IeFf8&t=35s https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UK3PCMRsn8I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGTDv6mzrkU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwukKuJ4JQI&t=33s

@NOCD Therapist - Jennifer D. Thank you for helping with this