I was wondering if anyone had any tips on getting over someone when they’re your limerent object? I’ve been in love with my best friend for nearly 5 years now and he’s rejected me multiple times. I just don’t know what to do to get over him at this point, it feels like I’ve tried everything.
First off, thank you for introducing me to the term "limerent". I can't believe I've never heard it before and find it fascinating :-). Second, I agree with stepping back. However, continue to work on being okay with him not responding. If you're just stepping back as a means to end, you're going to be frustrated again.
What is his reason for rejecting you?
@Anonymous - He’s always just said some variation of “I see you as a friend” or “I’m not the right guy for you”. I think he does find me physically attractive because we’ve messed around before
@Anonymous - Thank you. I don’t know if I can do that because I don’t have any other friends in this city. I only have friends besides him back home.
@ZeeIsNotOkay You're welcome. I can imagine how you feel, but if you're trying to get over him, give yourself time and tell yourself, "I will find the right person who loves me, even if I can't see them right now." And tell yourself everything will be okay. Use the power of your subconscious mind; positive affirmations will help.
@ZeeIsNotOkay I don't know all the details here, but stepping back might put you in a place where you're more committed to making new friends. That you've been physical suggests you might be giving him a bit of the girlfriend experience without any committment. Not just physically, but emotionally too. Stepping back will be good for you and will make him really decide whether he sees you as just a friend.
@Ben84 This right here. This man’s got the full package. He’s got all your attention, all your obsession, your pining, even your body and he doesn’t have to commit one iota because he KNOWS you’re already committing regardless of what he does. For your emotional health and care he should’ve asked for distance, but sounds like he hasn’t. I’d say take the step yourself, girl! This man does not deserve your obsession! He may not mean any harm but the fact y’all have slept together tells me he knows what he’s doing and taking advantage of the situation while it lasts. Take care! ♥️
@chibiyu Not to hate on your best friend, but I’ve been in this situation multiple times where a guy doesn’t want to commit but wants to enjoy all the benefits. 🤷♀️ At some point I began to notice their aim and, as awful as this sounds, the GLORY of moving on and being super happy only to see these boys coming out of the wood work bc they regret what they lost is SO SO SO revealing. Like once you get a man who is equally obsessed with you you will realize what you’ve been missing. But don’t ever go back! They’re mad because they realize they never deserved you. 🤭♥️
@chibiyu Thank you 🩷 I think I rlly needed to hear this
@chibiyu Wow!!❤️❤️🩹
the most debilitating ocd flare-up i’ve been having for the past few months has been about the guy i used to talk to. we weren’t dating per-se, but whatever was going on between us was very confusing and unclear, and it ended up with me being very hurt. he was basically leading me on, and couldn’t commit to me. it’s been months since we’ve stopped talking and i still can’t stop thinking about him. i don’t even care about him that much in an objective sense, but i am genuinely obsessed with him. everything i see reminds me of him, and my mind is constantly running through thoughts about him and our situation — why did it go the way it did, what did i do wrong, does he still think about me, etc. it’s honestly so humiliating and makes me feel pathetic because i know he’s probably moved on by now, and i still can’t handle the thought or sight of him. i just wish i could stop ruminating, because it’s gotten so bad that i can’t focus on school or anything else in life. it’s so constant to the point where, when i bring it up to my friends (which is very often), i’m met with concern and even frustration rather than sympathy. how can i cope with the rumination? it’s genuinely exhausting, and i can’t sleep at night because my brain is just running like a motor. i have dreams about it almost nightly as well. anything helps!
I feel like my brain needs to chase dopamine. I’m currently in a long term relationship but I notice myself chasing male attention at work and fantasizing about if my coworker can bring me more joy than my current partner. Deep down inside I know that I love my partner and he’s the only person I want to be with but right now I feel so miserable. I feel like if I dont seek reassurance (watching videos on this topic, scrolling through reddit) then my mind will start to think that I need to leave my partner. I’ve been struggling with ROCD for over a year now and I’m wondering if I should even be with my partner since this has been going on for so long. I dont know how to accept the fact that my relationship isn’t going to feel like how it did in the beginning.
Is there a link between ocd and limerence? Does it mean that you want that person in a sexual way? Can it be platonic? Can it be towards a kid? If it is towards a kids, does it make that person a p*do?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
