- Date posted
- 43w ago
Real Event
Hi it’s been a while since I’ve been on here but to those who has real event, have any of you confronted the person about it since they were like involved?
Hi it’s been a while since I’ve been on here but to those who has real event, have any of you confronted the person about it since they were like involved?
I’m struggling with this at the moment. I really really want to message the person involved and ask them to reassure me that this event DID NOT happen. However, I am finding some relief in the realization that I can’t do this because I know how weirded out they would be because they wouldn’t know what I was talking about at all. Which proves to me that nothing happened
My therapist told me If you know them still, and you think it wouldn’t hurt them more to reach out or cause issue then it’s good to reach out but realize that you only get that once to reach out, you can’t keep reaching out. I am not reaching out to my person bc I don’t want her to try and call the cops (i don’t live in her state or near her) I don’t know if she’s ever thought of this event ever again, I hope that if she had she would contact me bc I can’t stand the thought of ruining her life, and it could do more harm bc I haven’t seen her in like 8 years maybe longer and we haven’t talked or been friends since then either
@Justmesadly It’s just that I confronted them with it but I didn’t say anything about it cause I said it was best to call. I’m worried he’ll bring it up cause we’ll be calling in a bit
@Justmesadly Hey I’m curious about this perspective. In my case I am absolutely terrified that I made out with someone a year and a half ago. I am scared I cheated on my partner. I KNOW that the chances that this happened are extremely low but it has not left my brain for the past 3 weeks and I feel a significant level of anxiety. This person is still kinda in my social circle and part of me desperately wants to message him and just confirm nothing happened and just put my mind at ease. He isn’t really a close friend at all and he barely talks to the people who matter in my life. He has also had mental health issues that others have been aware of. I’m wondering how bad of an idea it would be to just shoot him a text quickly explaining my OCD and quickly asking to confirm that nothing happened
@Dalia H. since it’s false memory OCD it sounds like, I recommend not reaching out. You have to learn to let it pass without seeking reassurance and without compulsions
I’m in an absolutely crippling episode dealing with real event/ false memory. I literally cannot get out of it and it is beyond hell. Can someone please help me with advice? If you have been through this how did you get through?! I’m out of work, the only relief is when I’m sleeping no exaggeration. My husband is being super supportive and Is also taking time off to be with me. Was there a specific medication or any tricks that helped? I’m beyond desperate. Thank you
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
What ERP or other techniques do you use to combat fear of cancelation? Especially curious about those with taboo thoughts, false memory ocd and event ocd based off of real events where the fear of cancellation may actually hold some validity. I once did my own ERP not under a therapist but just on my own I decided to create an anonymous account on Twitter and defend a friend who was receiving online criticism. I knew that this would be semi-controversial so I was expecting backlash and when I recieved troll replies it actually seemed to be a really helpful low-stakes exposure activity. Is this something that others have done? Low stakes online posts etc. that you know will recieve negative responses? I have had severe OCD as a kid as pretty much every subtype under the sun, and as an adult I pretty much have all the types under control except for this real event and false memory and taboo thought OCD. It seems like a different beast since it's somewhat realistic in the camcellation culture today, and it's confusing to address. Ive shut down almost all social accounts and it's keeping me from progressing in a career where I need to have an online presence :/
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