Good morning

@Joey_867 You’re right. I’ve gotta just be nonchalant right?

@JulioKelle Yes. Cocky at best. Maybe it was maybe it wasn’t. I’m taking this back. And when you catch you’re ruminating, thinking about it, replaying it over and over, say “this is ruminating and it’s not good for my health”

@Joey_867 Ok thank you so much. I’ve been trying to get therapy, but I can’t afford it and my school doesn’t have OCD specialized therapists.

@Joey_867 Wow that’s amazing. I wish I could be able to do to that. I’ve been just trying to do this all by myself or with help on here.

@Joey_867 Is it ok if we talk about it maybe?

@Joey_867 I need some advice

@JulioKelle Sure. Happy to help.

@Joey_867 Okay, for some reason I feel so guilty from this memory because I feel guilty for potentially breaking a boundary with my boyfriend. Even though I’ve always stayed true to our boundaries and have tried to be the best girlfriend I could be everyday. I want to talk about my struggles with him but I’m scared that this could be a compulsion or possibly ruin the trust or relationship. This memory was from months ago and I never stressed about what I did until yesterday. What do you think I should do?

@JulioKelle I’m not a doctor, but I know the 3 R’s when I see it. Do not ruminate, research, or seek reassurance. Replaying the event over and over - diagnosing it - asking questions about it - is definitely a combination of those 3 R’s. Although it’ll make you feel better in the moment, the OCD will either stay stuck on that or move to a new event. What do you think?

@Joey_867 I agree, I guess where I’m conflicted is whether I should bring it to my boyfriend? Or how should I discuss it with my boyfriend, I don’t want to feel like I’m hiding anything.

@JulioKelle Does your bf know you have OCD? That is something that should be important to disclose. And he should be aware of the 3 R’s, so he doesn’t think he’s helping you but it’s really hurting you: like you constantly run stuff by him looking for reassurance. He should say “maybe, maybe not”. If you want to disclose the event, that’s up to you. I’m happy to offer my opinion without giving you reassurance. But, keep in mind - you’re ruminating and researching (asking someone else’s opinion).

@Joey_867 Yeah, I guess it’s more how I should handle this situation because I don’t want to hide or lie about something if I did something wrong.

@Joey_867 Unless I’m just going in circles now.

@JulioKelle Youre ocd is telling you that you did something wrong. You’re second guessing yourself. If the roles were reversed, would you need to know? If someone kisses someone else - that’s cheating. If someone looks at another person and thinks - they’re nice looking - that’s not. Most of us have that basic decision making. OCD tries to mess with that.

@Joey_867 Yeah true, this was not just looking. This was about self intimacy. Making em feel like I broke a boundary in regards to that, but even though I’m pretty sure I’ve never done anything wrong.

@Joey_867 Although now I’m just saying, well no mine is different right? Smh it’s a viscous cycle you’re right.