I looked up “why does it feel like I feel good from intrusive thoughts?” And the AI thing said if I’m feeling good from these thoughts that means it’s not actually intrusive. Isn’t that my answer right there? I also made myself think the thoughts that have been “bothering” me to see if I’d feel anything down there or if I’d feel excitement and nothing happened. Can someone just help me understand??
It sounds like you’re experiencing doubts about whether or not the intrusive thoughts are from OCD. OCD can manipulate your feelings too, if you don’t want the thoughts and you’re trying to avoid them they are likely intrusive. It’s common to doubt whether thoughts are intrusive when you have OCD, and doing something like googling questions about it can be a compulsion for that doubt
If the thoughts truly didn’t bother you, you wouldn’t have written this post where you are clearly worried. I also don’t think I’d trust an AI with opinions about human thoughts. Even your wording “ why doesn’t feel like I feel good from intrusive thoughts?” if you just felt good and it didn’t bother you, you would just say “I feel good from intrusive thoughts”, so even in the way you write you seem to know that deep down
Is this ocd? I Have a thought or think something f harmful that I’ve gotten intrusive thoughts about - and get a feeling like I want/like it or it would give me relief??? Please tell me that will eventually go away and I’ll get my real feelings back??? Or have I just turned into those things? Sometimes things that make me upset it even feels like I’ll do them just so I can be upset about them.
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
I know a few of you saw my posts about my ERP and the googling urges. That didn’t end up going well. My therapist actually decided we needed to halt it for now. The thing is it’s almost like I learned googling is harmless from those few exercises and my brain keeps generating more things to google. Normally I would just spiral and be done but now I can barely hold back from searching for long. I eventually give in. I’m horrified because it feels like I want to find illegal content. I swear on everything I am, I don’t want to find anything even close to it. I’m freaking out because I don’t understand what’s happening. I keep compulsively searching/testing/checking or idk. I keep remembering details and I feel like I need to google again to be sure of something. I feel absolutely insane can someone please help me??? I’m petrified I’m going to get in trouble.
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