I have difficulty filtering out my worries and anxieties when talking to other people. I am a very lonely shy guy with low self esteem and I have a very self deprecating sense of humor. However I find that I tend to reveal way too much about my insecurities, worries, obsessions to anyone that can listen. A lot of the time I have this “magical” thinking where someone would say something or be compelled to love me or be my friend to fix me. However, I just make myself look bad, ruin dynamics in relationships/friendships, and say something inappropriate. It is hard for me to talk about superficial stuff or pay care to other people’s lives. When I am obsessing over something, that is all I can talk about. And I am tired of seeking pity or sympathy from others. I went out with some coworkers (I never go out to bars or socialize outside work ever with anyone) and I find that I divulge way too much personal details about myself to anyone that listens. It is hard cause I don’t always realize I am doing it and it is hard to stop myself from telling everyone about my shit. Sometimes it is just to make others laugh—that is my humor. But it always leads to me asking for advice from everyone and then people get sick of me being a wet blanket. Some days I don’t feel like talking to anyone cause I am too caught up in my head. And I know if I start talking to someone, I’ll tell them things that I am worrying about and it ruins my reputation and how people see me. I want people to admire me and to want to be my friend. I don’t see myself as being self absorbed in a selfish way, I am very empathetic to others, but I seem to only know how to communicate with others as if they are my therapist. And I have one, I just don’t feel comfortable not opening up. Or I am just completely unable to filter myself.

Relationship OCD

so_nocd

Date posted: 6y

I have a tendency to do this too. I managed to reduce the amount of info I reveal, as well as the frequency. This has caused me to ruin many relationships, so I had to learn the hard way. I think going on anti-depressants has helped, but also practicing awareness. When I talk to someone, I try to ask more questions about them. Instead of constantly relating my experiences to theirs, I let them speak without interrupting so often. One thing that has helped me is privately journaling on my blog or notebook. I suggest you do something similar, that way, you can still vent but not ruin relationships.

drnemer

Date posted: 6y

Ya. I definitely going to have to try to stop interrupting and listen. Even though it is hard to ignore certain repeating urges and thoughts. And I always wanted to journal but it has been one of those things I been too lazy to start. But i definitely see how it can all help. Venting is very cathartic, but sharing too much is a problem.

drnemer

Date posted: 6y

As you can see I have a hard time keeping things I say or write to brief. I overtalk and over explain. I am always worrying that others don’t understand me. So I keep repeating myself over and over.

drnemer

Date posted: 6y

Examples of things i tell with no filter: my bowel movements, how much water I drink, my workouts, money trouble, dating/relationships, anxiety and panic attacks and depression and ocd, low self esteem, relationships with parents/family, past trauma

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