Intense fear of schizophrenia

i have developed a fear of it, whenever i hear ambulance noise i get thoughts whether it was real or not. my life is becoming hell, me and my parents cry everyday. i read people taking anti-psychotics for it even freaked me out more. i was seeing erp therapy for it and found out that watch “a beautiful mind” , when i searched it and read about it , it gave me chills . i have no guts to watch it, because i fear i might relate things with it or pick them up. i have this from 4-5 months, it had got better in between but i dont know how it got triggered again. will i be able to live a normal life? my fears related to it:- do i have it? will i get hospitalised? will i have to take antipsychotic for lifetime? anyone who has some help regarding it, please help, its making my life miserable.

Hi everyone! This is me writing this while having an intense OCD attack and seriously I don’t know how to handle it. At this point I cry almost every day, I’ve lost my appetite, and I don’t know what to do anymore. This summer I’ve seen a movie where one of the characters had schizophrenia and did what my intrusive thoughts were about, which is harming others. I panicked immediately and did what I wish I didn’t, but I didn’t know back then it was a compulsion: I googled the symptoms. I felt relief at first, but then I started asking myself what if I have those symptoms? What if my thoughts will become voices and I’ll believe them? (This is still one of my biggest fears) Ever since then it’s a never ending cycle, everything I see and hear I question if it’s real or only me hearing/seeing it. I overanalyse my body sensations like when my ears ring, or I feel a tightness around my head etc. I went to see a therapist to start treatment, and he told me I have nothing to worry about, cause it’s unlikely I’ll develop it. I felt at ease, and for a few weeks I felt so much better, cause that talk with the therapist went well and I finally got the diagnosis which is OCD. But then, I was scrolling on Instagram, and I saw a video and ever since then it’s getting bad again. It gotten so bad that my mind “plays” random phrases/music/words in my head, and it’s sometimes in my internal voice, sometimes it’s in others’ and it’s so scary cause I’m just going on with my day and they’re just there. Also for example I hear my mom cleaning the dishes and as she puts them away they make a sound and I hear a word in it, but it makes no sense yet I panic over it cause it was a word? I feel like I don’t even have own thoughts anymore, other than those and the ‘What if this means…?’ thoughts which cause me so much anxiety I feel like I’ll explode. The reason I’m writing this is that maybe someone who went through the same thing can help me, and give me some tips how to stop ruminating and mentally+physically checking (my emotions, my facial expressions, body sensations etc.)? I’m currently going to a group therapy which is seem to help, but I feel like I need to see a therapist alone where she/he can help me with my exact problem? Maybe it’s seeking reassurance and that’s a compulsion cause what if this isn’t OCD but still I don’t know what to do. Thank you!

Let me start from the beginning. I’m a 26 year old mom, and the other day I was in the store saying my list of things I needed to myself out loud. Then I hear a guy (may 20 years old) say “ma’am are you talking to yourself?” Which I was saying my list. But when I looked at him he was just staring at his girlfriend. Later in the store I came across them in an aisle again and I heard him say “ma’am stop following us” (I totally wasn’t?) but I felt like at that point he was just trying to make his girlfriend laugh because he was saying it in a funny mockery type voice. And never directly to me. Well not long ago I was in the shower and I swore I heard my daughter call my name but when I got out she was still sound asleep in my bed. Then 2 nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night and thought I heard someone humming? So strange!! Then once again YESTERDAY I was in the shower singing to myself (normal enough right?) When I thought I heard someone else singing in the hallway but it also kinda sounded like when my dog is whining. But when I got out my dog was asleep. There was another time as I was falling asleep I thought I heard my own voice saying my name right in my ears! This is driving me insane. I’m terrified I’m schizophrenic. And everything I look up online says this is signs of schizophrenia. Does anyone have any insight? I feel like I’m checking every moment now if every sound I hear is real.