I tried to help a minor with their OCD, POCD

I don't know why I did this but I decided to help a minor with OCD. I don't like talking to children and I made that clear to myself at the time and to this person. But, I still did it. I just wish I knew why. I hate that I still did it because it's given me a ton of guilt now. They suffered from POCD and I do as well (which is ironic since this is giving me bad POCD triggers) and all I wanted to do was help them with OCD. I just don't understand why I would take it to DMs. It makes no sense. There's people I have replied to on here and I don't know their age and they could be minors, which gives me less worry but still worry. The biggest problem I have with this event is the topics we discussed within OCD. Since it's about POCD and I think SOOCD we spoke about pretty sensitive topics that aligned with our OCD. But I just feel like I shouldn't have. I sometimes think to myself that if I were a therapist talking to a minor about POCD, that wouldn't be wrong. It's their job to do so. It isn't my job to do that though. I guess I just wanted to do good? But why with this person in particular? They knew there were things I was uncomfortable with and didn't want to go forward with. Eventually I stopped talking with this person because I felt like I was no longer helping with the constant reassurance I was giving and I was just too uncomfortable with talking with a minor. I just wasn't okay with it and I'm still not okay with it now. I want to tell myself that I was just trying to help this person, I knew I didn't want to do anything wrong, but I felt like I did something wrong inadvertently by just doing this. There were pretty adult key words that I can recall in the conversations we had and that disturbs me greatly. From the receiving end and sending. This never gave me intense anxiety at the time so why now? I just can't let go of this. I feel like I've committed a crime and I feel like my life is over everytime I think about this. I feel like I'm just failing my life. It's hard to do anything and be happy without thinking about this. I get worried that I'll be called some kind of groomer because of this even though my intent wasn't to take advantage of this person. Only to help them. Again, I don't know what made me go with it but I went with it.

POCD

bowler5781

Date posted: 1y

Hey man, I see you're still posting on this. I know you're really struggling, and I'm sorry you're going through that, but in the long run you are only hurting yourself by continuing to seek other people's opinion on this. I'm sorry you have to process it, it's not easy, it can be incredibly Isolating and overwhelming, and it feels like you have to do it all alone, which is awful. But you don't have to do it alone, because people all over on this app are struggling with each of their own experiences, and we can all be there to support in that process. Part of that support is reminding that continuously posting in an attempt to convey your message exactly the right way and get the exact response that will make it all go away, is a compulsion that feeds your OCD, and is also impossible. What's happened has happened, and you have the opportunity to make today better than yesterday, and tomorrow better than today. But you have to be the one to break this cycle, because it won't go away on its own.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

Sitting with it is the hardest part there is. I've tried distractions and it wasn't helping. Is it better if I just do nothing at all about this?

bowler5781

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 I think sometimes phrasing it as "doing nothing at all" implies that it just all comes together and happens naturally, but it doesn't. It's effort of intentionally not engaging with the thoughts. You acknowledge their existence but don't engage, don't mentally speak to them, tell hem they're right tlor wrong, tell them to leave. Sitting with it is intentional, difficult, but necessary. I know it's hard, it's painful, and it's exhausting. But it will help you, it will make the spikes less intense, make the thoughts less occurrent and distressing, and it's like working out, flexing these muscles will make it easier. Trust me.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@bowler5781 So I just keep telling myself that I shouldn't engage no matter how true it seems? It seems completely true. It seems like I did something bad even though I didn't intend to. Or is that just the OCD talking time and time again? I hate it. Everyone is telling me it's not as bad as I think and it feels like it is.

bowler5781

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 Exactly, don't engage with the content of your thoughts. Tell OCD not today, or that seems funny, or I'll get to that later I'm doing something else right now. Acknowledge that the thoughts exist, but remind yourself they're not as important as OCD makes it seem. The longer you can do this the better you will get at it over time.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@bowler5781 The more I do this, the more it will feel like I'm just getting away with something but I guess I will have to do it anyway. Right?

bowler5781

Date posted: 1y

@BigGyro09 Yeah it's going to feel like that, which is natural. OCD believes it's true, so you trying to not address it means OCD has to tell you you're getting away with it. But that doesn't make it right and you wrong, or vice versa. It just is. The best thing you can do is sit with it as long as you can.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

@bowler5781 Okay. Thank you. When it gets really bad, I'll just tell my OCD I'll worry about it later. Or maybe that I don't care about it. Maybe the first one because the second one isn't true.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y

At the time I was 19 and they were 17. This was three years ago.

danielllll

Date posted: 22w

Feeling extremely guilty and don’t know what to do

I think I know what honestly is what caused my OCD. I’ve never told anyone this but I have to if I want help. When I was either 10 or 11, I think 10 I was at my family’s thanksgiving dinner. Around this time I discovered porn and got addicted. I would watch porn and read erotica. Because of this I guess I wanted to experiment. I feel absolutely horrible just thinking about this but I was playing around with my little cousin, he was around 7 I think and I remember we were playing chase or hide and seek, and I grabbed him and hugged him (something I never done before), and got a boner. I did this for pleasure. That’s all I did that was sexual but I feel so horrible. I try to give myself grace as I was only 10 and didn’t know the consequences of something so disgusting. I keep thinking “what if I went farther and hurt him?”. I talk to him sometimes and he seems comfortable with me and I think he doesn’t even remember this ever happened and just thought I hugged him for some reason all those years ago. I am NOT attracted to him at all but I think this incident and remembering it when I was 14 has caused my OCD such as POCD for all these years. I am 18 now but I feel absolutely horrible. And now it’s even worse because I have been invited to his 15th birthday party in Mexico. I’m traveling all the way to another country just to be near him! Obviously I know I won’t touch him or be innopropriate with him. But what if he has felt uncomfortable with me all this time? He seems fine with me and not uncomfortable around me but still. If I feel as if I go to this trip, I am a horrible person. I don’t know what to do. Am I a horrible person for what I did and continuing to be around him? I remember reading Reddit and Quora stories of similar people who felt horrible and people told them to not feel bad as they were only children and they learned and now know that was wrong and that to not tell anyone as it could only make things extremely awkward.Please help. I know COCSA is a very serious topic that harms people and I feel like a horrible perpetrator now.

isharemycigs

Date posted: 20w

What do I do

when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do

Givenup

Date posted: 20w

Pocd and gut feelimg

Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

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I tried to help a minor with their OCD, POCD

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