Fear of being aromantic/asexual?

Hi, thanks for replying, It's so good to know im not alone. 💕

How are managing these thoughts? If you don't mind me asking.

Glad to know I'm not alone. I think ocd just latches on to anything and everything.

@Emi_ly12 I also feel that when i think i might like someone i start to get thoughts that im just faking it and that its not true at all and i just made it all up :( i dont want to be aromantic. I actually posted right now very similar post

@ninkaninga I'm literally the same. My brains like "your choosing to feel this way, you lying to yourself". It makes things really confusing for me. I just feel like a fraud thats in denial all the time. I have read that sexual orientation ocd can make it so you lose attraction because your thinking about it to much or something like that. It seems to be very common. It's just very frustrating.

@Emi_ly12 Like i dont even know whats wrong with me. Idk what happened but now im just lying in my bed and i cry of the thought of never having children and never being a mother and have a family😔

@ninkaninga Im so sorry that you feel this way, I can totally relate. I sometimes stay awake at night because I worry about the future. I made myself ill from stressing when I was younger because of my ocd, it was so bad my parents took me to a doctor. Things will get better, I feel "normal" when my I go through periods of my ocd not being so bad, that proves to me that it can get better. I'm glad you've commented and reached out, i feel exactly the same way you do. ❤️

@Emi_ly12 Thank you🩷 yea, when it somehow pass a bit and i feel better then its just better and i dont think im gay or bi or aromantic or asexual or broken or whatever. I just wish i was fine. And also be able to love someone. I dont know why but i use to think about this one guy. Idk if i like him or not but i keep imagining a scenarios and yesterday i even cried. Anyway….i just had to vent.

@ninkaninga I wish the feeling better phases of my ocd would last longer, those phases feel really great like I'm in control again and then I'll read something or see something online that will trigger me and I'm back to the start. You aren't broken, none of us are. I feel this way sometimes and imagine what's it like to be someone without ocd, it must be so peaceful. If your thinking about scenarios about a guy, it's very possible you like him. That's one of the signs of crush. Don't be too hard on yourself, I can definitely relate to crying myself to sleep but just remember that it's the ocd talking not you. I'm glad you vented, I need this too, to be honest. Feel free to reach out anytime and vent. I don't know if you can send messages on this app, if not you can come back here and comment anytime you need to get something off your chest. 😊

@Emi_ly12 I feel like im always hard to myself😔

@ninkaninga Yea, me too sometimes. Like I said remember it's your ocd talking not you. There is nothing wrong with you. We will get through this.

@Emi_ly12 And i dont know if it is a crush or what it is. But i get thoughts that im just forcing myself. Then i get thoughts that i must be gay and im just pretending to be straight😔 but i dont think i force myself, i dont know…..i had these thoughts maybe since november like “how would that be if we would be together?” I know it sounds stupid. I dont even feel any butterflies really, maybe felt them twice before i went to sleep, but then again “That must be anxiety and not butterflies so you are just gay”. Thats why i kinda relate what you wrote that you no longer feel excited or happy. Like even yesterday i cried a little because ive got a thought that what if im not even that pretty and once he told me that “you are not ugly” or that “maybe he just takes me as a good friend and he would never bee attracted to me” i dont know why i started to get thoughts like this and it made me sad. I once have been through something similar when i was 13 and i had a crush on my friend and he dated another girl and i just felt like im not good enough and why he would choose her so i felt broken and i always cried, he played with me, he wanted to kiss me while he had gf but we never kissed and i just ended up so sad. I feel like since then i didnt like anyone. At that time i didnt have SO-OCD, i even texted him few times that i loved him. Now i have thoughts that it was all a lie and that ive never loved him and that im just gay. But obviously i liked him back then. I dont even know why i talk about this. Maybe im just still broken somehow. I dont know whats wrong with me. It is scary to like someone or even be with someone in a relationship. I hope im not aromantic or asexual or gay. Even though nothing against. But u understand…..