Identity and OCD

When struggling with ocd I've noticed myself disconnecting from the truth of who i am. When your mind is constantly doubting everything you do it can make you feel like you don't really know who you are and that is very scary. I keep thinking back to my past self before all of this got really bad and I can't help but mourn the loss of the freedom I had :/ Despite the fear and depression this has caused me, I'm trying to take small steps to reconnect with that version of myself in the past that felt more free. I don't know if this might help anyone else but don't get stuck in the cloudiness of intrusive thoughts and ocd, do those things you used to love despite the nagging thoughts. Don't let yourself be lost in the haze of your thoughts to the point where you forget who you are. Do those things that remind you that you are still human. Dance, Paint, Write, anything really. Its not that easy but just remember that despite any horrific distressing thoughts you might have, you are still human.

Young adults with OCD

anonimato

Date posted: 44w

hi, i’ve been dealing with similar thoughts, and i’ve been feeling very hopeless, i’m always concerned what others think of me, if they think i’m interesting or not, if i’m funny or not, and i am always too self aware of my thoughts, i feel like i have no personality and i am always looking to the past, to the person i was before i had ocd. i know i am not lonely but i feel like i am.

anonimato

Date posted: 44w

How are you now?

moon0270

Date posted: 23w

OCD

Makes me feel lost. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

Doubts about self expression

This obsession is new, but feels so much more grounded and it’s so anxiety inducing. Since the ocd started I’ve lost my sense of self and confidence. I got soocd and it slowly turned into be doubting my identity on whether I want to identify or dress masculine or feminine. I don’t feel good in the clothes I would typically wear out before I’m constantly overanalyzing how I’m feeling , it makes me really anxious and like I’m preforming. So then I started doubting if I would rather dress masculine and it’s extremely anxiety inducing and idk if it’s the ocd now but it feels like that’s how I want to dress.. that’s not what I associated with at all before the ocd but now it feels like that’s what would make me feel fully confident and loose in the world, does anyone else experience this??

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 16w

I feel like I am OCD

It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.

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Identity and OCD

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