eve 🎀

Date posted: 1y

i feel like im going crazy

yesterday when i was texting my bf i felt this overwhelming feeling and hotness in my chest and i felt an urge to kill someone (specifically him) i love my bf to death but i freaked out and i thought i was going crazy and i thought i was a physco path. i told him about this feeling but i didnt mention that it was specifically towards him bc i didnt wanna freak him out. so last night i asked my mom to sleep with me bc i was so scared and i was just out of it. i was shaking, i was experiencing a panic attack and i kept thinking that i was going insane and i convinced myself that i was a serial killer and i almost called the cops on myself because i was so scared of myself. i also wanted to go to the hospital to talk to someone but my mom didn’t let me. im not sure what triggered this feeling but i did watch scary stuff and stuff that i was advised not to watch but i watched it anyway because i was curious. im not sure if this is the cause. i am not diagnosed with ocd but ive read many things online and watched many videos and i feel like i fit into the criteria of ocd. im genuinely scared that these thoughts wont ever go away because today that was the only thing i could think about, i started avoiding my boyfriend because when i see him or think about him those thoughts come back and i get scared. i just feel so alone and i feel like a physco path. i have no intent of doing any harm to him or anyone in general but i feel like at any moment im gonna do something stupid and snap. im really scared and i dont know what to do to help myself there are moments where im okay but then it comes back all over again. i feel like my entire life is over. *this is the first time i have ever experienced such a horrible intrusive thought, i’ve had intrusive thoughts before but shrugged them off but this one is different, i couldnt stop thinking about it and i freaked myself out and made myself cry*

Harm OCD

Tacos

Date posted: 1y

I’m so sorry, you’re not alone ❤️

eve 🎀

Date posted: 1y

@Clouded thankyou ❤️, even though ik im not alone i still feel so alone and i feel so guilty for thinking these things, i feel like it wont ever get better

Tacos

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I understand what you’re saying, it’s so difficult when you’re feeling like this that it feels almost impossible to consider that it does get better but I promise you, it does. Is it possible for you to get a diagnosis? ❤️

eve 🎀

Date posted: 1y

@Clouded i tried the free 15min call on nocd website but they asked for a credit card or debit which i do not have at the moment so i dont have a therapist. me and my mom are planning to go to the clinic soon to see if my insurance can fully cover for a therapist that specializes in ocd.

eve 🎀

Date posted: 1y

@Clouded i really do hope it gets better because these feelings and thoughts are making me feel exhausted and drained

Tacos

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous I’m glad your mom is able to help you, good luck. I hope it goes well ❤️

eve 🎀

Date posted: 1y

@Clouded thankyou so much ❤️

Tacos

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Yeah unfortunately that’s how it is at times, provide yourself with kindness and compassion even if it’s tough ❤️

LetLOVEin

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

Oh my goodness this sounds like my exact situation. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this right now. It’s such a scary and real feeling. You’re not alone and I’m free to talk anytime. ❤️

eve 🎀

Date posted: 1y

@Surviving:( do you have an instagram or snapchat? i would really want to talk to someone who knows what im feeling instead of talking to someone who thinks im insane :(

LetLOVEin

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Yes, my snap is Kay.cee3235

EmmyFaith21

Date posted: 40w

Hi! I’m going through something extremely similar if you would like to chat on instagram? I’d love to have someone to chat with and relate to, I’m sure you may too?

madalyndicie...

Date posted: 25w

hello everyone 🤍

i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 22w

how do i know if i have OCD?

so this all started not too long ago, for literally no reason at all. but one day i got a random intrusive thought about harming others and it freaked me out bad. since then i’ve been non stop focusing on it and im genuinely scared that i am, or gonna end up like those sick people that have documentaries about them. i’ve never had these types of thoughts before and after me and my mom looked a lot of stuff up we think i have OCD cuz a lot of the stuff it was saying was accurate to me. to anyone in here, does this sound like OCD to you? i’ve always been a nice loving person and these thoughts freak me out so bad and make me feel like i’m a bad gross person. it got to the point i don’t even like looking at myself anymore. i just wanna go back to normal man. another thing to add, when i would explain this to my mom even though i was telling the full truth on how crappy this made me feel it felt like i was lying almost? but i know i wasn’t deep down. i’m just scared that what if i act on something or get in my head too much you know?

alyssa_h

Date posted: 19w

i can’t do this much longer

i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…

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