I think my life would be a lot easier. This is me confessing in my full selfishness. I don’t care that they’re kind, fun people. I don’t care that they like me or find me beautiful. They don’t need to have my bf as a friend. This is my honest, dark, evil truth. ☹️
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@Enoki🫶🏻 Yeah he mainly has female friends, even as a kid that’s just how he rolled. I used to have mainly male friends too, and so I was fine w my partner having friends bc I truly believed in healthy, platonic friendships. But after I started dating my bf all my male friends turned on me. I found out they all were just waiting for a turn w me and the friendships were all a facade. I’ve not been the same since. 🥲
@Enoki🫶🏻 Coworkers. I’m pretty much the only person he spends time w when he’s not at work or helping family, but he also has been working a TON recently to make up for vacation time so my ROCD has been worse than usual. 😅
@Enoki🫶🏻 He’s never done anything to betray my trust. I know it’s OCD. but the friends are such a strong trigger I just want them out of the picture.
@Enoki🫶🏻 I will. 🥹 I think it’s difficult because this would not be the first time I’ve had this conversation, maybe the 50th lol. At this point he fears I just don’t trust him, because he’s done everything he can to reassure me. He doesn’t follow models, I’ve seen his feed on his social medias and it’s all video games and relationship posts. So I know he doesn’t have wandering eyes. But I don’t trust his friends. I cannot imagine girls NOT crushing on my partner, after all I was once like them—just a friend. 🤷♀️I fear they’ll try to sabotage our relationship so they can have a chance at him. My former guy friends tried to do the same with me—asking me to cheat on my partner. I think I just have major trust issues. 😭 Thank you for ur help Enoki ♥️
I feel the same way. My boyfriend has this one friend that just rubs me the wrong way and is the cause of our fights. He doesnt like her enough to date her, he hasnt even met her. She was just a girl he thought was pretty after his divorce and then settled into a trusting friendship with her. He could have had her at any point but he chose me every day, even after we split. She's been the just a friend, here before me, girl, but I always wonder if it was more. Why couldn't he just let her go to help. I just don't know that's why therapy is a good thing, and I imagine it will help with this feeling
@sfergy88 Yep I know this feeling. My partner was a very lonely kid growing up (military family, so always jumping from location to location) and even when he first met me, he had no IRL friends. So when I heard he was finally making friends at his workplace I was very happy for him. Of course, they were mostly girls. He has male coworker friends too, but the closer ones are female. ☠️ I cannot even dare to tell him to cut them all off, he would be alone again. Buuuut it also makes me feel like I’m not enough, like there’s something crucial I don’t bring to the table that all these girls do.
@chibiyu I always tried, and did so well at first, but as I pushed the thoughts away, obviously they came back worse. When I tried to talk to him he took such offense to it that I felt bad. It's hard to separate the facts from opinions when your are so deep in the obsession. I've found some websites with worksheets that I'm reading and it's makes so much sense
@sfergy88 I completely agree! What are the websites, if you don’t mind sharing?
@chibiyu Absolutely! https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/ocd-self-help/
I can’t stop overthinking about my friend and her soon-to-be boyfriend , I feel like I’m jealous but not of HER, I’m jealous of HIM, like, I’ve known her for so much longer , me and her have always been closer, and this guy comes in and is gonna take up a bunch of her time. Idk, ik I shouldn’t feel this way. She reassured me she would never leave me and I guess I’m also scared of that. I had a breakup with our friend oldest bsf a couple months ago , I guess that might’ve done more damage than I thought. I feel like I’m losing myself , and then I thought I found myself again once me, my bsf , and the guy became friends , but as soon as I found oit she liked him and he liked her its like everything crashed:/// I hate feeling this way but idk what to do
I have a huge problem, and I don’t know how to stop overthinking it. For context, my boyfriend is not the type to jump to conclusions like “Oh, that girl looked at me, she must like me.” He’s always realistic and doesn’t assume things without reason. Lately, I’ve lost most of my friends, and now the only person I have besides my boyfriend is my best friend of five years. We’ve been through everything together—friendship breakups, different social circles—and in the end, it’s always been the two of us. Right now, it’s just me, her, and my boyfriend in our little friend group, and we all get along well. We even have plans to go to a festival together this summer. But this past Friday, my boyfriend told me something that completely threw me off. He said that he doesn’t want to make assumptions, but it seems like my best friend might be looking at him in a certain way. He wasn’t saying it’s 100% true, just that he noticed something. The problem is, I already had this intrusive thought before—“What if she likes him?”—and now that he mentioned it, it’s making me spiral even more. I feel like I’m acting weird around her now, and I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying her in my own mind by even considering this idea, because I know she loves me and would never do something like that. It’s completely absurd, yet I can’t stop thinking about it. To make things even more complicated, my 18th birthday is coming up in two months. My plan was to go on a small trip with both my boyfriend and my best friend, but when I mentioned it to my dad, he shut it down immediately and said, “You don’t have to take her everywhere.” And now, I feel stuck. I don’t know how to tell her that I might just want to go with my boyfriend without making her feel left out or hurting her feelings. But at the same time, this is a huge milestone in my life, and of course, I want my best friend there. I hate that these intrusive thoughts are making me question everything—“What if she likes him? What if she ends up liking him?” My mom recently told me a story about a woman whose best friend stole her husband, and now my brain won’t let it go. I’m dreading the idea of us all being in the same hotel room this summer for the festival. It’s like my mind is preparing for something bad to happen, even though nothing has actually happened. I don’t want to think this way. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable around her. How do I stop these thoughts from ruining everything?
Does anybody else struggle with the fact, knowing that their boyfriend used to watch porn and makes it you feel jealous or super insecure about yourself? It’s weird because I knew my first boyfriend watched porn before we met and it never really bothered me and now I’m on my second boyfriend and he told me he watched porn and had an addiction about two years ago and is clean but for some reason, this just bothers me and makes me super insecure Way more than my first boyfriend. And I understand that he did two years ago, but the fact imagining him pleasuring himself to another girl and the fact that it’s a girl that has stuff that I don’t have just makes me feel super insecure about my own body, even though this was almost 3 years ago. I just don’t understand why all of a sudden I feel this way because anytime he mentions something like a girl popped up on Instagram. I automatically think oh like this is something he likes like he probably wishes I look like her or just the simple fact of knowing that it accidentally pops up and he sees it and then I hear about it and I just automatically like shut down and I get super insecure and have the time I don’t even want him to like, touch my body because I feel so insecure, knowing the fact that I don’t look like these Instagram girls that randomly just pop up. And it’s crazy because I never cared or thought this way but once I started dating my current boyfriend, I just can’t stop thinking about not being good enough because I don’t look like an Instagram model.
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