i need help/ advice ! something!

I went out last night with a couple of girlfriends. One of them is contemplating divorcing her husband bc of a drinking problem (she is straight) and made a joke about running off and joining the “lesbian island”. She then continues to say “making out with a girl is one thing” but that she could never actually BE with a woman sexually, etc. Well… this has triggered my SO OCD significantly because I’m thinking, well why does she think it’s okay to just kiss/make-out if she doesn’t identity as bisexual? I mean she is beautiful and I’ve heard all my straight friends say the same thing. So I start to worry by thinking, well I find her very attractive - does that mean I want to make out with her and see what she’s talking about? Just to note, I also identify as straight and am married. So this is just so damn frustrating and confusing. Especially bc society shows women kissing all the time on reality tv shows etc (who present themselves as straight). So now I’m having intrusive thoughts and making myself think sexual things to “check” if I’m still straight. Ughh..any advice would be greatly appreciated. And if someone could please explain why a straight woman would make such a comment - that would be very helpful.

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

Hi everyone, I’m really struggling lately and wanted to ask if anyone relates. I’ve been dealing with relationship OCD and possibly sexuality OCD, and things feel very overwhelming right now. I’m in my last year of university, studying something I don’t care about and never wanted to work in — I’m only finishing it because of pressure from my parents. I feel totally lost about what I want to do with my life, and the pressure to find a job is intense, especially since my girlfriend (we’re long-distance, and she’s also my fiancée) is working and everyone around me seems to have it figured out. Every time I look at jobs or go to interviews, I get hit with anxiety. A huge part of it is fear: “What if I fall for someone at work? What if a guy looks at me and I start questioning my sexuality again? What if I’m not a lesbian at all and I’m just pretending?” I also obsess over my feelings for my girlfriend — “Do I really love her? What if we’re not meant to be? What if I don’t care about her as much as I should?” These thoughts are intrusive and exhausting, but they feel so real. Even during good moments with her, I question everything: “Do I enjoy this? Do I really want this? Why don’t we have as much to talk about?” Then I panic when I don’t feel “enough.” I’ve also started to feel distant, and she’s noticed — she’s mentioned that I’m not as flirty or close as I used to be. That makes me feel even worse. To top it off, I have magical thinking issues — my therapist told me to avoid tarot, numbers, predictions — but recently my best friend joked about reading tarot for my relationship, and that triggered a spiral I haven’t escaped from for days. I’m also judging myself constantly: “Why did I text my best friend before my girlfriend? Does that mean I don’t care anymore?” Even when I do things that feel natural, OCD throws doubt at me. I haven’t been in therapy for a month and I feel like I’m falling apart. I’m trying to live like I don’t have OCD, but it’s so hard. I know some of this is probably OCD… but it feels so real. If anyone can relate or offer some perspective, I would be so grateful.