I’m scared.

first and foremost, i have not been diagnosed with OCD. about a month ago now, i had an intrusive thought about suffocating my boyfriend after watching a news story about a man who did that to his wife. i freaked out, and when i got to his house i was physically sick. i made him take me home to get away from him because i was so scared. well since this thought, it’s like i can’t shake this fear that i actually want to do it and i keep feeling like i “need” to do it. i’m so scared im going to do it, what do i need to do? i’m panicking at the moment.

Harm OCD

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

Okay, so everyone experiences intrusive thoughts. What is important is to separate the fear from these thoughts, and sit with the discomfort. There is an SOS tab on here that talks you through how to handle this discomfort because you can! Whether you end up getting diagnosed, OCD tackles your biggest fears and makes it feel like you actually want to do this or you will do this even though it’s merely a thought. Take a breath, don’t try to solve this thought. You have to just let it be, and you’ll learn to trust yourself even through the discomfort. I realized I just got a subtype of harm OCD, but all OCD is the same!

Anonymous 54...

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle thank you for your kindness, i did the SOS button. it’s just scary dealing with this because i care and love him so much and i don’t ever want to hurt him. im scared of losing my mind and doing it, again thank you for your kindness

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Asaunders2023 Of course. I have really intrusive thoughts of “what if I did this terrible thing?” Even though there isn’t even any evidence. You have to just not react, and respond in a loving and compassionate way. It’s the doubting disorder and only way it gets worse if you fuel it with fear.

Anonymous 54...

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle i know and when i ruminate on it i get so scared and instantly begin to panic and my heart starts beating really fast and i feel like im going to throw up. i feel like ive been ruminating so bad and when i hang out with my boyfriend, im so anxious. i hate being anxious all the time around him, i dont want to be but when i hangout with him i know ive had this thought. does that make since?

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Asaunders2023 Yes, I know what you mean. I know the person who replied feels like he can’t give advice cause you aren’t diagnosed, but it’s true that everyone gets intrusive thoughts, but people just tend to just push it away and not think twice. People who obsess have compulsions like thinking through mental review etc. I don’t have the money to be able to go see a specialized therapist, but I’ve been told I have obsessive thoughts by therapists and I have compulsions. You have to just try and be in the present. The thoughts don’t make you who you are!

Anonymous 54...

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle i know i haven’t been diagnosed but i have dealt with this before about a year and a half ago when i was in college, i don’t have the money either honestly and im on anxiety medication already for GAD. i just feel like ive been obsessing over this specific thought for like a month and i dont really know how to stop obsessing over it and worrying that it means i want to do it.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Asaunders2023 It’s gonna be okay. I’ve had it all my life and didn’t even realize it. If you also want to be more educated on how to handle it, books from mark Dejesus has really helped. I’m not sure if you’re Christian.

Anonymous 54...

Date posted: 1y

@JulioKelle i am, thank you so much for the recommendation.

JulioKelle

Date posted: 1y

@Asaunders2023 He helps with building a better and stronger relationship with yourself and also with God too! Learning how to live with OCD using the grace and unconditional love of God!

[Deleted]

Date posted: 1y

Comment deleted by user

Anonymous 54...

Date posted: 1y

@F.A okay, that’s not very helpful for a panic attack but thanks 🫠

anonymous737...

Date posted: 22w

someone pls answer!

I have ocd, i have crazy intrusive thoughts that make me super uncomfortable, the thing is i understand that ocd goes against your morals and try’s to make you feel like a bad person but how do i avoid pushing people away while trying to treat my ocd.. i love my boyfriend so so much but when i get intrusive thoughts about hurting his feelings or doing something terrible it scares me so bad that i’m scared to be around him because in my head it’s like “why am i even thinking of this if i love him so much” and i know i would never do anything to hurt him but i just feel terrible because he’s an amazing boyfriend and i have all these bad thoughts. :(

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 22w

how do i know if i have OCD?

so this all started not too long ago, for literally no reason at all. but one day i got a random intrusive thought about harming others and it freaked me out bad. since then i’ve been non stop focusing on it and im genuinely scared that i am, or gonna end up like those sick people that have documentaries about them. i’ve never had these types of thoughts before and after me and my mom looked a lot of stuff up we think i have OCD cuz a lot of the stuff it was saying was accurate to me. to anyone in here, does this sound like OCD to you? i’ve always been a nice loving person and these thoughts freak me out so bad and make me feel like i’m a bad gross person. it got to the point i don’t even like looking at myself anymore. i just wanna go back to normal man. another thing to add, when i would explain this to my mom even though i was telling the full truth on how crappy this made me feel it felt like i was lying almost? but i know i wasn’t deep down. i’m just scared that what if i act on something or get in my head too much you know?

Aphid123

Date posted: 21w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

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