18+ . . . I have a past event when I was about 19/20 where I found a girl who came up to me on Roblox attractive and I feel so awful about It I think I didn’t know the age of the user but I’m scared that if I did know that they were underage I wouldn’t care and would keep having these thoughts and feelings at the time I also said hi to them so I’m worried that means i acted on my thoughts
I believe BigGyro09 explained it well to you and I agree. I also wanted to add that you aren’t alone in this. I can say I had a similar experience. Was 20 playing a game on Roblox & I have met some folks my age playing that game. I had voice chat. The server I was in had YouTubers. I was having a good time bc it was a fairly active server and the people were nice. When I was down, someone had picked my character up and it was this dude. I figured he was with the YouTubers bc I think he was talking with them. So I assumed they were friends. He said somewhere along the lines of, “Gotta save my princess” or something & I replied “thank you my prince” I felt wanted in that moment. some warm feeling bc someone noticed me. I wasn’t alone like the past months I had been suffering. Note, that his voice to me seemed like an adult male’s voice. I didn’t know his age. At first, I was a bit hesitant bc ik any person of any age can play, including minors, but I have seen ppl around my age (18-20) “flirt” around with others. Not sure if they were friends with the peeps they were talking to or just random people. So in that moment, I thought, “okay, maybe I can do it too? he sounds like an adult” time passes by and he comes again but I forgot what he was talking about. then he asked what my age was & I replied “20” he then said something like “oh no, we can’t [I can’t remember]” I asked how old he was and he said “17” but I heard 19 at first & was confused why he was backing off. I said “19? that’s only 1 year, it’s okay.” and then he clarified he was 17. that’s when I was like “oh, I’m sorry” & immediately backed off. anyway, you can clearly see how later on I have replayed the event and worried. I later realized that I have associated YouTubers with being adults. all the YouTubers I’ve watched since a kid have been all adults. so my brain always thinks of YouTubers being adults. I assumed the same for the boy. now I know there can be kids that are YouTubers. another thing is, it would be pretty weird to “flirt” with someone knowing there could be minors around. I have to remind myself that I didn’t know. but I still am fighting inside. it’s hard. that’s why I am now hyper vigilant when it comes to this bc I can’t tell sometimes and it stresses me out. ofc, when I can tell someone is a minor, I don’t do anything. it’s just the part where I can’t tell someone is or isn’t a minor with their voice and looks. it seriously has messed me up and now I’m afraid any person I find attractive could be a minor. (with the exclusion of adults that clearly look old enough to me)
@veinsoul It’s helps to know I’m not alone in this thank you for commenting it’s so strange because I’ve been over the event so much i don’t even know which parts of it are real or not, I didn’t have voice chat just text chat but I think I just wasn’t thinking about age until after this event I was naive and I’m trying to be kinder to myself about it now but it is still really hard. I hope We can both get through this
It doesn't sound like you've done anything in this situation at all. Someone came up to you and said you were attractive and that was it from what I'm seeing. You didn't know their age, but how could you? You've never met them before and you're both behind a screen in a video game. There was no way to have known.
it was me who found them attractive i remember having those thoughts and feelings at the time and i feel awful about it now because i feel i should have known better
@BigGyro09 I just feel like a monster and anytime I feel a bit better I feel intense guilt and shame
@Eileen03 I know that if you knew their age, you wouldn't have changed how you felt about them immediately. It's not a bad thing to find someone attractive unless their clearly underaged and you know that, but you didn't. It's okay. You couldn't have known. Try to just let the thought of this exist and don't give any feelings to it
@BigGyro09 Thank you for your message But Because they were a Roblox avatar I feel like I should have known it was likely they were underage and I get constant ‘what if’ thoughts all the time about it
@Eileen03 Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. That's the uncertainty at play. And that's what OCD loves to have. It wants to put you in a loop of constantly thinking back to this and thinking what if and what if not, but you have to consciously say no everytime. Remember, replaying these events ARE compulsions. They are something you do to keep the OCD at work. Instead, we have to keep it at bay
POCD,+18 please, need of help I keep thinking abt when I was like 17 I used to go on amino to roleplay ships I like,and I'm freaked out now over it because even though I never did sexual rp before I still did rp that was in a romantic setting and I'm worried if anyone I ever roleplayed with was massively younger than me and I just didn't care or didn't put in effort to notice. I have a memory of doing a short roleplay with someone and feeling uncomfortable about it and i don't know if it was because I just felt shy or they were young and I was uncomfortable but doing it anyways. A long while back I went to the amino again and checked all my followers and tried to find who I roleplayed with going off of what I remembered their pfp being and the one I thought seemed most similiar was someone who was 20 and all the rest didn't list their age but im worried what if they unfollowed me and did say their age. It all makes me freaked out because there was this thing where a 20 something dude said it was OK he roleplayed nsfw w minors because he didn't want to seem rude by saying no when they suggested it and I don't want to be as bad as that guy is and i never did anything sexual but I'm still scared it's just as bad if it's roleplaying a romantic relationship and I had that memory of feeling uncomfortable but not wanting to seem rude by not interacting. I dont know if it's a false memory or not and idk if it is. I just know when I was spiraling and checking all my social media I deleted a chat w a ship rp w/o checking and I've been freaked since.
So back then when I was 18 I went to Mexico the month after my birthday and I met this dude there who was 14 but turned 15 that same month and we had a thing for a eachother and he did look older and was much taller than me and seemed mature. But now I’m so worried why did I like him or talk to him that way back then. I am now 20 and he’s 17 and I haven’t talked to him at all because I’m in a loving healthy relationship with my bf who is 27. I have a fear of being a pedo and I’m so scared that what happened back then makes me a pedo :((
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