I was out having a fun night with some coworkers. I am extremely anti social in regards of having any social life outside of work. I been working very hard to overcome my social anxiety and panic attacks. During the evening (like towards the later part). I got extremely anxious. For some reason I felt compelled to share my anxiety with my coworkers. Told them I am feeling not so good. I tried not to make it seem like a big deal. I just feel better to not hide being anxious, which makes me more anxious. I didn’t like their reaction. I made them sad and worried. And I am anxious now that well I think they will never see me the same way again. And it always happens this way. I start to break out of my shell and I get anxious. I live with panic attacks. But it inevitably turns others off or just makes me feel more insecure. I got anxious last night because of magical thinking that when I am having fun and a good time a part of me gets self destructive and I start to worry how I am going to get anxious and ruin it. And then I do. How do I stop this. It only that thought didn’t come into my head i wouldn’t have gotten anxious and embarrassed myself. Does anyone else struggle with getting anxious when things are good in this self destructive and self fulfilling prophecy?

I am really worried because I felt confident about my appearance today, then I found myself thrown into imagining if I did certain things like flipping my hair or just looking good around a certain coworker and they'd find it attractive. I don't like that coworker at all and I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, this made me feel awful and I starting feeling disloyal again. I don't know if it's an old habit, a desire for external validation, or what. I can't tell if this was a thought pattern connected to my last post or not. All I know is that I'm really stuck right now. I feel like every time I pick myself back up, I fall right back down again, like there's ice in the road. I can't help but feel like everything I touch or everything I think about crumbles. I feel like my own mind is against me and I don't know who to trust anymore. These small OCD spirals are really messing with my work life, s*x life, everything really, and it's getting to me. I feel with every spiral that I'm getting sucked into a depression again and I don't know what's next. It doesn't matter how small the "bad" thing that "i did" was, but I feel that every little thing is building up to a point and something is going to crash down. I need help. What do I do? Right when everything around me seems to be going up, I feel like I'm being dragged down and I can't do this anymore. Please help me.

I'm new and I'm really trying to control thoughts of replaying interactions I've had or things I think might happen with the people around me. This is something constant, and it causes me to repeat actions. Then I lose track of time and often end up being late. It has always affected my sleep and becomes a part of my dreams, which are also always vivid. It's always been hard for me to get up. I just constantly keep replaying different outcomes of things that it haven't happened yet going over every possible outcome with no correct answer. I'm scared of what I might say and do when at work because it's been getting worse lately. I've been terrified of socializing, because I feel like I'm going to lose it every time I speak to someone. I work directly with people doing their hair. I don't want my clients or co-workers to catch me in the act of one of my rituals or it to effect the job that I'm doing. It just makes me angry that I haven't been able to control these thoughts and it makes the rituals worse. Then I feel embarrassed after I finally stop repeating whatever it is, I'm doing. I feel like I can't trust anyone, and I’m terrified but I know it's not real. I can't afford to lose it/show it.

Hey everyone, I just wanted to share something I’ve been struggling with, especially around making decisions. It’s really hard for me to feel confident in the choices I make, even when I know what the right thing is. I constantly find myself needing validation from others—whether it’s about something small or something really important. For example, at my job, I might know exactly what I’m doing and have done it right a bunch of times, but I still feel the need to double-check with someone or ask if it’s okay. It’s like this fear kicks in, and I start imagining worst-case scenarios—like what if I mess up and someone gets hurt, and then I get blamed or even end up in jail or prison. I know that sounds extreme, but these thoughts just come automatically, and they feel so real in the moment. This has been going on for maybe a year or two now. Even outside of work, the same thing happens. Like recently, I’ve been trying to figure out a gym schedule—my girlfriend wants to go with me, and I’m trying to plan the times and make it all work. But instead of just choosing what works best for me, I overthink it. I go back and forth in my head, and I ask other people what they think, even though deep down I know this is something I should be deciding for myself. It’s my life, but I still need that reassurance from others, and I don’t really know why. It’s exhausting to always doubt myself and to feel like one wrong choice could lead to something terrible. I’m trying to work through it, but I just wanted to put it out there and see if anyone else deals with this or has advice. Thanks for reading.