I’m so scared to go on this trip with my boyfriend since i had a thought of suffocating him. i’m scared i actually want to do it and that I’ll act on it. i don’t want to go and i’m so scared of what the thought means. i don’t want to hurt him and i want to avoid the whole situation so i know that i won’t hurt him.
hello! thank for sharing what you’re going through. do you feel safe enough to talk to him about it? my therapist always reminds me that thoughts are just thoughts, not actions and it’s normal to be afraid of them. but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to do it. i know it’s hard, but staying true to your values really helps. practicing mindfulness might also be helpful? like if you get the thought or urge to harm him while you’re there, being mindful of what you’re doing in the moment can be helpful when you have a bad thought. i also know that it’s easy to isolate when you’re having harmful thoughts about those that you adore. hopefully he’s a safe enough person for you to confide in him, and remember that it’s the OCD. it’s not truly who you are❤️
@Anonymous he is aware of the thought i had but i dont think he really understands what harm ocd is so its hard for him to understand that im absolutely terrified that i would or will act on this thought. i truly dont want to go on this trip out of fear that i will do it.
It sounds like your brain is concerned about going on the trip, and it’s giving you intrusive thoughts about something scary to you, so you don’t go. It’s hard though, because it does feel very real and like it needs to be taken very seriously! You could try to silly up the content where you don’t clean it up at all, but maybe every time you go to do it, you have little baby hands or like a baby pillow that barely covers the mouth, or however your brain is popping it up in your mind. Whatever keeps the fear of it actually happening there, but kind of makes it seem like a ridiculous sentiment to fret over. I often imagine myself in a t-rex blowup suit, or as a giant Godzilla when I get gory intrusive thoughts like that to silly up the content, so I don’t take it as seriously, and it works pretty good for me. Good luck though! I know there isn’t always a one size fits all approach, so I hope you get some relief soon, if this doesn’t help at all! You definitely aren’t alone!
@Courage2Continue i literally don’t want to go, i’m so scared im going to actually suffocate him 😭
@Asaunders2023 and i literally know that i don’t want to
@Asaunders2023 Hey, you got this, we believe in you! If your boyfriend was struggling with these thoughts right now, and you were in his shoes, would you be afraid he’d hurt you? Or would you give him more compassion and grace than you’re giving yourself right now?
@Courage2Continue i know, but why would i have the thought like that and ruminate on it for like a month? why would i feel like i want to when i know that i don’t want to? this is so scary.
@Asaunders2023 like i KNOW that i don’t want to hurt him but then im like “maybe you do” “what if you do” “what if you plan on doing it”
Me and my boyfriend have only been together for a short period of time....and he's head over heels for me...at least he says so. All the time I'm so scared he's going to break up with me or any time something is uncomfortable I shut down and think I did something or he's thinking about me in a negative way and I don't know how to stop it. He doesn't do anything to seem like he wants to break up with me, but any time he does something a little different then normal I immediately think of the worst. If he's being really quiet I'll be thinking *is he going to break up with me* *does he not want to be with me* *is he just hanging out with me right now because he wants a girlfriend to pass the time* all of that stuff. And honestly I'm so scared..... because what if my thoughts are true?
i had thoughts of “planning” to harm my boyfriend. we have a trip coming up and my intrusive thoughts were telling me “nobody will know if you harm him all the way over there”, then my mind started rambling on like “everyone will know-“ and so on and so forth, it actually made me feel like i was contemplating on doing something and now it feels like im turning evil ): has anyone had thoughts like this?
my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd
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