- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
And so what? Denial isn’t as complex as they’re making it. Sure, people can subconsciously hide it from themselves for years but the fact that you spend time actively worrying about it tells me orherwise. No reassurance here, but the rule of thumb of being in denial is being reluctant of bringing the word up to yourself. Like an alcoholic in denial won’t worry about being in denial, they’ll worry about bringing that word into existence and connecting it to themselves. The fact that you and me CONSTANTLY question it and fear about even being in denial proves that we might not even be in denial ??♀️ if we are, so what? It wouldn’t kill us. The only thing to believe between suffering from OCD and being in denial about coming to terms with your sexuality is that what you have is just a thought. Whether it’s true or not, it’s ONLY a thought
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
The first thing you should know is that empty closet forums are directed towards people who know zero about HOCD so their stories can’t always be applied to everyone. As we know on here , HOCD has a way of mimicking real feelings even though they’re less genuine than synthetics. I don’t know if anyone who ever questioned if they were in denial. I think your best bet is to not search those forums because they aren’t always realistic and one person’s circumstances are totally unknown and for that reason , their situation is completely different too. Try to accept that you can’t know what you are for sure , but that it’s okay that you don’t know and that you wouldn’t suffer regardless of the answer. Hope this helps ?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t know of ***
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi I have tocd and after looking at the egg reddit I really freaked out so keep away from reddit the community is toxic and it’ll mess you up
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
trigger warning!!!!!! I’m really scared right now. I’ve been reading Elle Warren’s articles about her experience with HOCD/SO-OCD, and it feels so similar to mine. She went through the same fears of being a lesbian, felt distressed by her attraction to women, and spent hours ruminating, Googling, and analyzing her feelings. She even experienced groinal responses and revisited old memories, just like I do. Eventually, she had a moment of realization in college when she flirted with a girl, and everything clicked. She now identifies as a lesbian. I’m terrified that the same thing will happen to me. I thought the OCD fears were supposed to never be true and that HOCD thoughts are usually just compulsions that don’t end up being real. But reading her story, it’s like I’m seeing my own experience mirrored. What if it clicks for me, just like it did for her? What if I realize that I am a lesbian? Elle’s story makes me so scared. I thought my feelings of attraction to women were just OCD-driven, and now I’m questioning everything. I thought I was straight, but now, reading her journey, I’m wondering: could my OCD fears actually be real? Elle’s experience was very similar to mine: • She got distressed when she thought she might like women, not relieved. • She spent a lot of time ruminating, Googling, analyzing, and comparing. • Her attraction to women only became intense when her OCD flared up. • She said things like, “I feel peace when I believe I’m straight.” • She had already been diagnosed with OCD and had a history of this pattern. After years of fear and distress, Elle had a moment of calm and realized that it was true. I’m scared that this could happen to me too. Will I have a similar moment of acceptance, where everything clicks and I realize I’m gay? Or will I come to accept that this is all OCD, and that I’m straight, with the possibility that I’m not? I also keep thinking back to when my OCD lessened the first time. Did I go back to men because I wasn’t actually attracted to women, or was it just because the grip of the OCD had loosened? Elle also talked about the shame associated with non-heterosexuality. She mentioned that, like many of us, she had internalized stigma around being gay, and that it made her fear the possibility of being non-heterosexual. I can relate to this so much—growing up, I never saw it as an option to be anything other than straight, and now it’s hard to shake that fear and shame. Elle mentioned that she found reassurance in seeing other people with HOCD who worried that their fears would come true, but eventually realized they were just OCD thoughts. That idea is comforting, but also a little scary, because what if that moment of realization happens for me too? What if I finally accept that I am a lesbian? Or, what if I’m just struggling with OCD and eventually realize I’m straight? I just don’t know. The scariest part is that, just like Elle, I feel like I don’t have any obvious signs. She had no idea she was a lesbian until one day, everything clicked. She was 21, just like me when my OCD fears really flared up, and she had a breakthrough moment in Denver when she made friends with lesbians. That hasn’t happened for me yet, and it’s terrifying to think that it could happen in the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I’m really scared about where this will lead.
- Date posted
- 17w
i’m scared i’m bi and in denial and trying to convince myself im straight.
- Date posted
- 14w
I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(
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