Guys I’m super confused. I know I’ve posted about this before, but I feel like I may be on the asexual spectrum, but then it’s giving me a lot anxiety. Why? I can’t get used to the label, but I think it makes sense? But it doesn’t feel right. I don’t know if it’s the desire to be straight as that is how I’ve always identified. Idk. I feel very distressed. Hocd does not make this easier. I’m 16. Any advice or ways to be calm? X
Well I'd say, do you really need a label..... trying to prove our sexual orientation or lack of, is really never going to satisfy OCD. I would say give up the compulsion of trying to figure it out......live with not knowing, as no one has absolute certainty in this part of life. Then just do whatever makes you happy.
@Garrett Maguire It is pretty much just obsessive, whether it is true or not tbf. Like, just not healthy. So, yeah, maybe I don’t need one, and I do feel as though ocd is giving me this feeling of “NEEDING to know COMPLETELY” At the minute, what makes me happy is honestly not doing anything relationship wise. Just being on my own!! Thanks! X
@AyseTetik And remember as soon as you attach a label OCD says ....but are you sure, better keep checking so, don't play it's game.
@Garrett Maguire Yeah. I mean, sometimes I think I could be ya know? But then I’m obsessing, obsessing, obsessing, so, yeah, that’s what makes me unsure. So I’m just gonna try and drop it all for now. X
@AyseTetik Yeah absolute certainty about anything is really not achievable......but OCD latches on and demands certainty which keeps us on the OCD loop. Ruminating/obsessing makes the OCD worse, it's fuel to the fire. Giving up the search for certainty and taking the anxiety, then doing ERP to habituate to the anxiety is the way out of these obsessions...... trying to figure them out using logic doesn't work, it's the OCD trap.
@Garrett Maguire Yeah. I’ve still been researching asexuality and stuff like that, and it’s not really making me feel any better, I think it is just, I’m unsure and it feels like I NEED TO KNOW. So, I feel as though I just need to work with a therapist or something before I get worse. Yep, keep falling into these traps at the minute! X
@AyseTetik Yeah and remember if you're trying to figure it out, going around in circles, to be SURE....you are playing ocds game, you will never satisfy OCD for long...even when you find a solution, it will be temporary because ocd will eventually come back with a "What if"...
@Garrett Maguire Yeah. lol im exhausted from it now! Thanks for your help! X
I’ve had/have the same fears about being asexual. I don’t know if I was afraid on missing out in falling in love/being different/feeling incomplete. I would take surveys, read posts, and do all sorts of compulsions to figure it out. Truthfully, I don’t know. I still use “straight” as a placeholder. The nice thing is that this is something you don’t really ever need to tell anyone if you don’t want to. You are also young, and exploring your sexuality is normal. I just found the more I looked into different labels on the asexual spectrum, the more intense my obsession and compulsions got. I don’t have any specific advice, but I think reading too into it and trying to find a label will drive you crazy. Wishing you the best
@vamarini Yeah that’s what I’ve been doing. Looking at all the different labels on the spectrum and just not feeling comfortable? Ive just told my mum “I think I’m asexual” but it didn’t really change anything. I’m just very confused I guess. I still feel attatched to the straight label, but idk. Thank you for you comment! X
I’m confused why I can’t imagine having a boyfriend! It’s kinda causing me so distress because I really want some and then their is another part of me that’s like no you don’t is this my anxiety or just me or could I be asexual? I also suffer from hocd
How do I know if I’m asexual or if it’s really just hocd? Ive been obsessing over this for days. I don’t want to be asexual at all. I consider myself straight and not to long ago I got over the themes of gay and bisexuality of hocd. I don’t think about sex all that much maybe one every two weeks and I do want sex one day right now I just have that eh like it ok or whatever feeling about it and I don’t know does this stuff mean I’m asexual I have had slit of crushes before but I don’t know if I’m asexual. I need help!??
Ok so this might be long might not but I’m going to try and explain this very well ok so I have always dreamed about having a boyfriend and I’ll read novels and want that for me and I can imagine myself with a guy when I’m older and happy but right now I can’t whenever I try to think about it I get anxious and just want to cry cause more than anything in the world I want happiness but ever since I got hocd whenever a guy tells me they like me all I want to do I stop them from liking me and want to tell them to stop liking me I get an anxious type feeling and lately I have had the theme of asexuality like “am I an asexual? What if I turn asexual? What if because I get these weird feeling about boys liking me does that make me asexual?” I need some opinions of what people think and I also don’t know these could be new feelings to me I just have never dated or had a boyfriend I want one but at the same time “myself” doesn’t want me having one! What do you think?
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