SOOCD

This post will be for people 18+ and it is a topic on sexual attraction, if you are comfortable you can read but it’s completely up to you. I know I’m not the only woman that watches lesbian love for pleasure as we are all humans and our hormones go up. I’ve been watching lesbian love for years now (about 3 years) and in most of that time, not once did I question my sexuality until someone asked me a question that triggered my overthinking. Today after watching that, I was asking myself questions like what it would feel like to do this with a woman? How would it feel like to be with one? And because these thoughts came to my mind I freaked out because I keep thinking that I like females but never in my life and even till this day have I ever fallen in love with a women or even thought about marrying a women one day. I always want to have a husband one day and at least have a kid or two. But lately all this questioning has me confused to the point where I question if I’m bi or lesbian and if I even have SOOCD or if it’s generally just me tryna figure out my sexuality or if I’m just in denial. I am also talking to a man romantically and whenever I’m around him I feel happy and I’m always excited to talk to him and he also makes my heart flutter and my body burn for him. But because of these recent thoughts I’ve been having, it just confuses me and adds some stress. Any tips for how I can go about this?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: pureolifepureolife

Date posted: 21w ago

Yes: stop trying to figure this out. Your rumination is a compulsion and it’s not bringing you closer to an answer it’s taking you further away. When these thoughts pop up answer: maybe, but maybe not. I don’t need to know with any more certainty than I already have in this moment. And refocus on your day.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 21w ago

I generally don't like feeding anxiety, but since you used to be okay with watching Lesbian porn, you're probably not 100% straight. However, I feel you should find acceptance with that and just move on.

Username: pureolifepureolife

Date posted: 21w ago

@Anonymous This comment probably isn’t helpful. For one, it’s inaccurate. One of the top porn categories for straight women is lesbian. That’s been supported by data again and again. And there are many explanations aside from sexual orientation: like the fact that people react to all kinds of sexual stimuli, whether it aligns with their orientation or not. And the fact that hetero porn is quite misogynistic and difficult for many women to watch let alone enjoy. For another, a random person on the internet can’t tell anyone what their orientation is. Plenty of people do, watch, or fantasize about things that don’t align with their more general identity as it relates to who they want to be with and in what ways, sexually and or romantically. Sexuality is nuanced and can’t be simplified the way you’re describing.

Username: pureolifepureolife

Date posted: 21w ago

@Anonymous Also, telling anyone with OCD that the solution is simply to “find acceptance and move on” is not a valid treatment option. If it were that simple, none of us would be here. That’s the whole issue.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 21w ago

@pureolife I agree that a random person on the internet can't tell someone what their orientation is. All I can speak of are my own experiences. I used to have SO-OCD, even though I never once or liked watching lesbian porn. And to this day, I never will. And you're wrong there. Acceptance is VERY important with OCD. For example, accepting uncertainty. Also, someone with OCD should never, ever go on the internet looking for reassurance and instead, get into ERP and therapy. So in that case, the simple answer to this poster is to get off the internet, find a therapist, get into ERP therapy, and read books about OCD.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 21w ago

@pureolife It is a valid treatment option. You find acceptance through ERP therapy, learn about your fears, and move on.

Username: pureolifepureolife

Date posted: 21w ago

@Anonymous You didn’t say accept uncertainty. You told the poster to accept that they’re not straight. That’s very different. And the opposite of uncertainty. And your original message was just that. Nothing about ERP or therapy. Which is why I said it was unhelpful. The poster didn’t ask for reassurance. They asked for tips on dealing with the confusion and stress.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 21w ago

To OP, get off the internet and learn about OCD. A good book to get started is called "Pure O" Letting Go of Obsessive Thoughts. There is a section that covers So-OCD really well.

Username: NeytiriNeytiri

Date posted: 20w ago

Hi! I have watched lesbian porn too and it’s my main trigger. Do u want to talk?

Username: LunarNovaLunarNova

Date posted: 5w ago

I have Watched lesbian porn too. Are u still struggling with sexual orientation ocd? I really need to talk to someone who is going through the same :-(

Username: Redrose

Date posted: 1y ago

In need of queer advice!

Hello, I’m 22F. I have always had crushes on men and have dated men. I never really CARED for sex much but I would still do it. I watch lesbian porn or anything that stimulates the girl more/ what I would enjoy. I fantasize about getting with a girl/ wanting to do things with a girl because of how good it would feel. However, I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Before him, I used to really like another guy. I can’t differentiate between whether I am lesbian, BI, or just straight with normal fantasies. I can’t think/ imagine myself in a relationship with a girl but I guess it wouldn’t be bad to get with a girl at the same time. Sex is just sex. However, I started having obsessive thoughts about my sexuality 2 years ago since then I’ve been diagnosed with health anxiety also. I don’t know, could it be that I’m just not that into my current boyfriend that it makes me question my sexuality? Is it it possible that he might not be so attractive to me that it makes me feel / think what if I am not straight? How can you differentiate between intrusive OCE or the reality / truth of something?? I don’t recall ever having a crush on a girl but I still see certain men and acknowledge how good looking they are and imagine being with them.

Username: Anonymousesti

Date posted: 41w ago

SOOCD after a long time

Hi guys, I hope you're all doing well! I have a question to ask you! I have had SOOCD for a pretty long time now. So when I compare it to how it first started I rememeber that I was like " this is not me" or "what is this", I could'nt even imagine myself in a sexual situation with a women without saying "not for me no way" and everytime I used to see lgbtq+ couples on social media I used to get soo triggered and just scroll down. However fast forward 6 years, the thoughts bother me less, its like I actually like them, if I imagine any scenarios it feels "real" and I volontarly look up lgbtq+ couples which gives me a sense of peace? ( my therapist said that it was a complusion and a way of telling myself if it ever happens I'll be okay but im not so sure of her analysis). Looking at what I just wrote, I know that some of you are gonna say its the backdoor spike etc... but it just feel like I was in denial and year after year Im finally "accepting my true self?". Which scares me a lot because im in a relationship with my bf of 6 years whom I love ( as a friend or as a bf? idk at this point) and I dont want to throw everything away!!! or if I dont, Im sacred to realise in 3 years that Im actually into girls and have wasted 9 years of this guy's life juste because I was "scared". I dont know if any of you have had this for soo long to get to this point.... It doesnt help that I saw a tiktok of a bi girl saying that when she used to date guys she was in total control of her emotions and it was nice and confortable, but when she started dating girls she literally felt "honored to be able to share her life with her gf and to touch her and to be with her and can't believe that her gf chose her and just feels like she literrally cant breath around her from the love she feels". totally triggered.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: LunarNova

Date posted: 13w ago

A Woman’s Struggle with Sexuality Confusion, Anxiety, and Past Experiences with Lesbian Porn: Seeking Clarity and Support

Hi everyone, Lately, I’ve been feeling confused and anxious about my sexuality, which has been challenging to navigate. I’ve always identified as straight and am currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. However, I’ve recently started questioning if I might have some attraction to women, which has caused me a lot of anxiety. To be clear, I’ve never experienced romantic or physical attraction toward women in real life, but I have watched lesbian porn in the past. Now, I can’t help but worry that this might mean I’m attracted to women after all. On top of this, I’ve noticed a decrease in my sexual desire for my boyfriend, which only intensifies my concerns about both my sexual orientation and my relationship. This confusion is something I’ve never dealt with before, and it’s starting to take an emotional toll. If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate any advice or insights on how you worked through it. What helped you find clarity? Someone mentioned that my anxiety might be OCD-related, though I’m not familiar with OCD in this context. I’d love to hear from anyone with experience in navigating these kinds of thoughts or anxiety. I’m open to any personal stories, resources, or guidance on how to approach this situation, both for myself and in communication with my partner. I want to better understand what I’m feeling without being overwhelmed by fear. Thank you in advance for your support!

Sexual Orientation OCD

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