My ocd

Hi! Okay so everyday I wake up and freak out that I am dying or going to die soon and then because I think that, I feel like I am manifesting it but I cannot stop getting intrusive thoughts about myself or someone I love dying. I also can’t get in my car and drive without thinking I hit someone and somehow just didn’t know? And then I will just wait anxiously and think police will show up at my door. And lastly, I live in the past and always think about all of my mistakes and I can’t forgive myself and keep thinking my past will come back to haunt me. Does anyone relate to anything I said? I think it would just help to know I am not alone.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 20w ago

Yes 100% can relate. It’s a daily struggle. Reliving and ruminating on all the mistakes I’ve made. I straight up hit someone’s car by accident last week and then two days later went around someone (maybe cut her off but I don’t think I did) and she followed me throughout a parking lot. My OCD made me think the cops were going to show up and arrest me… irrational, I know!! So just know you are not alone!!

Username: adams2024adams2024

Date posted: 20w ago

@Anonymous I did the same thing yesterday! I did cut someone off and then I was in my head thinking they would take a picture of my car and someone would come arrest me. Even though that’s just not how it works😭but thank you so much! I appreciate you!

Username: gabbiecgabbiec

Date posted: 20w ago

You’re not alone. I have had similar experiences as what you’re describing. This is what helps me: My first step was being able to recognize and identify the thoughts happening, then I was able to take some control and recognize those thoughts are the OCD, they’re not me. Once I got to that point, I could (sometimes out loud) say “this is the OCD, it’s not me. This is stopping now” and I stop whatever I’m doing while those thoughts are happening and make my body move onto something completely different. And with that movement I was able to shift the control the thoughts had over me in that moment. When I fear I’m manifesting something through my negative thoughts, I remind myself that manifestation is intentional. So because those thoughts are not “me” and because those thoughts are not my “intentions” I have comfort and can move past those fears. When I would have fears associated with driving I got dash cameras so that if I felt the need to review them I could. At some point I was able to move past that being my normal and now it only appears during “bad days” Try to find ways that you can make things easier on yourself. Even just little things, that care to yourself will help you when you’re having struggles forgiving yourself and your past. When there is too much chaos in my mind, I try to get it out in some way. Journal, recording myself speaking about it, sometimes taking to the right person. Creating something is usually a good regular for me. When you’re doing good, try to pick out the things that make you feel present and write them down. When you’re not doing good, go back to those and see if you have the energy to try any of those things and try to shift yourself out of that state. I hope you can find the relief you need, i know that it’s a struggle

Username: adams2024adams2024

Date posted: 20w ago

@gabbiec Thank you so so much. This was so helpful!! I really appreciate that you took the time to give me that advice. I will try this from now on!

Username: CalicoTiramisuCalicoTiramisu

Date posted: 20w ago

I relate so hard to pretty much everything. It also helped me to know I wasnt alone!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 20w ago

Manifestation is not real . Its a cognitive distortion and in order for you to get better you have to realise that its a part of "magical thinking". We , humans cannot influence the course of life. We can take racional actions that can lead us to success or not, but if you just think for exemple you will become sucessfull and do nothing for it, it wont become true. So , our thoughts have absolutelly no influence in reality, just our actions. Best recoveries

Username: adams2024adams2024

Date posted: 20w ago

@Anonymous Thank you!!!

Username: tkeytkey

Date posted: 6w ago

i have the exact same thing right now and you try to stop thinking about death cus u dont want to manifest it but then u think about it more cus its scary, i also get a "gut feeling" along with this thinking omg its a sign am i gonna die? ect which is horrible and so scary especially if you do believe in manifestation.im still not over it but trying my best

Username: ilohuiojh

Date posted: 5y ago

I’m confused. I don’t know how this is supposed to work. Can anyone relate to this??? I don’t have anyone who understands just what my ocd is. I barely understand it. No matter what I do and where, my thoughts hit me. I can be blinking the wrong way and I have to blink until it feels right.. same for swallowing, touching things, light switches and setting down cups. I have to sit and stand up multiple times until it feels right. Step on certain things like cracks in sidewalk as many times I feel is needed. Wash my hands multiple times. Even when texting, I can type out a whole paragraph and my mind tells me to delete it all and start again because it’s not right. When something isn’t right my mind tells me that someone I love is going to die or get hurt. And for some reason I obsess over certain days, like a day someone I love it born. I will sit there and flip a light switch with that date in my mind and a bad thought that something will happen and I can’t stop until I feel that person in my head is safe and everything is fine. In a way I feel that I am saving them and myself from something bad. Can anyone relate? And maybe share how you’re dealing with it all? Please and thank you.

Perfectionism OCD

Username: Anon17

Date posted: 2y ago

Can anyone relate?

Woke up this morning immediately looking for the thoughts that I’ve been having even though i don’t want to think about them. I feel like i ended up bringing them upon myself and then i had a super gruesome thought and have been worrying about it all morning. Is it possible to bring thoughts upon yourself? Is it ocd or is it just me? I’m just so scared of going “crazy” that i keep looking for thoughts deciding if it’s me or not if you know what i mean. It’s such a scary feeling When you feel like you don’t know who you are 😭 i literally am just petrified of completely losing sense of who i am and doing something bad and being locked away forever. Is it possible to just turn bad? Does anybody know what i mean by that? Like you secretly have a double ego and completely turn into somebody different? Does anyone else experience this? Is it ocd? I’m so scared i feel like i can never catch a break.

Harm OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 41w ago

Health/death OCD newbie

Hi all, I’m new here. For the past 5ish years of my life I have lived with what I called health anxiety but recently have been researching more into OCD and I’m wondering if that’s what I might actually suffer from. I have tried multiple different therapists and types of therapy (mostly CBT and talk) but nothing has helped me. Every day I think about death and it plagues most of my thoughts in any given scenario. Usually I think about it in terms of myself because I am terrified of dying young but slightly less often I obsess over losing my husband as well. For myself this usually manifests as thinking I have specific diseases (cancer, bone disease, heart conditions, brain tumors) that are undiagnosed and underlying. I am doing constant checks and googling of my symptoms and thinking about what will happen after I die and how it will affect my loved ones and everything around me. I also become very triggered when I hear about young people dying and whenever I hear something like that or see something on social media about death or disease I think it’s a sign from the universe about myself and I spiral. I am terrified of the doctor so I actually haven’t been in a very long time but I have been trying to talk myself into getting blood tests. I’m just terrified of hearing what I feel are going to be bad results. I try not to think about my thoughts because I also have thoughts that thinking this way will manifest bad health even if I don’t already have it so then I become in an obsessive loop of thinking and then thinking about not thinking and then thinking about thinking about not thinking … I don’t know if any of this makes sense and I don’t know what I can do at this point but I am just so so exhausted of living my life this way so here is my word vomit.

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