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What if the harm ocd never ever goes away and i have to live with this FEELING. like even when im not having an intrusive thought i still have this feeling of the thought. Is this normal LIKE I DO NOT WANT TO ACT ON AN intrusive thought AT ALL but im so full of panic because im having intruisve thoughts like “what if i did” “what if i just do it and dont care” “what if i dont care” “what if it doesn’t matter if i were to act out on the thoughts” Is this normal because im so scared because this feeling in my head and chest im just scared. Anyone who relates how long did u have this for / the feeling/ thoughts. Pls help! Im so scared because sometimes it even comes into existential like “Why does it matter if i did that” Please

Harm OCD

ocdsucksass1...

Date posted: 1y

Dude I so understand. I feel like I've gone through almost every type of ocd in one instance or another at least once and harm ocd has been one of them. It may put you're mind at ease that if you did do something like that the fact you're so upset by just thinking about doing it (and thier intrusive so it's not you're fault) that if you actually did you would care and you would feel bad. I hope you feel better <3 and remember that their just thoughts and they don't define who you are.

Holly1721

Date posted: 1y

I hate it. I’m crying as I type this. Some days are better than others. We didn’t ask to have this… I want it gone. It sucks. Keep reaching out :) I have found comfort in this app and reading NOCD articles.

Ellasmama

Date posted: 1y

I am in the same boat as you with severe, severe harm ocd towards my beloved dog. I feel the feeling in my chest and the awareness of the thoughts constantly too. This is horrifying. I’m sending you hugs. I guess it’s normal somewhat?

Shi47

Date posted: 1y

I’ve had ocd for many years but in the last few months harm ocd has been a new theme - it’s horrific and yes I’ve had many similar thoughts to you.

Brooke cookie

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

As someone with harm OCD I used to be worried that I would never get out of it as well. OCD can feel very trapping, but you can recover from this type of OCD the best way to explain it is you have to treat the OCD highly recommend looking up how to do that ( ERP and not doing compulsions) but after treating your ocd you get to a point where you treat your intrusive thoughts just as intrusive thoughts, and nothing more kind of how I think people without OCD treat intrusive thoughts it’s hard but it’s very possible and you pretty much can go back to living a normal life which is wonderful so don’t give up stay strong and work on treating your OCD and you’ll get better.

indigo156

Date posted: 1y

Hiya!! Harm was and still is my main theme and I am currently experiencing a lapse. However I want to say I have gone 2 years without it impacting my life at all. I was at the point where I would lie with my boyfriend and be like what if he just dies and not ruminate about it it would just go. This is just now not forever, I know how hard this feels x

Aphid123

Date posted: 21w

Is this even OCD?

Hey so a couple months ago (7-8) I remember being upset at my family member. Like she was talking too much while I was annoyed and remember wanting her to be quiet. I got an intrusive thought like a really bad image of doing something really bad to her, and my hand twitched to the side a little? Like it felt like I was about to?! And I remembered thinking "if I do this, I'll get in trouble". I got up and left to the bathroom and felt horrified! I was thinking "did I want to act out? Did the only reason I didn't act out was because of getting in trouble? If there was no consequences, would have I done it?! Does this mean this whole time I've been using OCD as an excuse?" I remember I couldn't sleep for 3 nights because of how bad the anxiety was, I was crying and I felt very guilty like I should turn myself in to a mental hospital. I couldn't eat for many days or be near her because of that thought and twitch I had! I'm worried it was an impulse or I actually wanted to hurt her. And even to this day I still ruminanate about this. Like last night I couldn't sleep well I kept waking up every two hours and asking myself "am I capable?" I couldn't eat last night. Sometimes I move on from it like I forget that happened but when I remember, I feel distressed about it! I don't want to be an evil person or do bad actions towards anyone! I'm even scared to be angry because of this because I'm scared I have more "chance" of acting out due to anger. Like was it an impulse and I held back? Is this even OCD? Please help, I'm really scared!

flowerpetals

Date posted: 20w

frustrating

harm ocd is the bane of my existence. people always tell me that if you have anxiety over a thought, that’s ocd. and these intrusive thoughts cause me IMMENSE anxiety. i’m constantly looking for reasons why i’m not what these thoughts tell me i am. but WHY DOES IT FEEL SO REAL?? it’s like i can’t reassure myself that this isn’t me and i don’t want to do it, but i also look for reasons why it’s not me. my brain is constantly telling me “if you don’t act on this, you’ll never feel free”. WHAT EVEN IS THAT?? and why does it feel real?? anytime i think about getting therapy, i constantly think that it’s not going to help me positively but help me realize i am this person. i just wish someone with harm ocd could get into my brain, understand me, and tell me everything will be okay. i wish someone in recovery could tell me that they’ve been where i am, felt the same feelings, thought the same thoughts, and got through it when they thought they wouldn’t. i feel like i’m drowning in it. another thing is i think about how my mom knows a surface level understanding to this form of my ocd, but if she knew it all, i’m scared she’d never look at me the same. i’m scared she’d be scared of me and think i need psychiatric help. IM TERRIFIED.

Harm OCD

alyssa_h

Date posted: 18w

i can’t do this much longer

i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…

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