hocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
EsosaEsosa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Why can’t you have that life? What would happen if your life and pursuit of happiness went on a different path? I know how you feel and it’s very difficult. But fighting it makes it worse. You have to accept it by not accepting that the thought is true or means something, but just accept that the thought is there.
scaredbunnyscaredbunny
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That is me during most part of this year. I get you. I was so waiting for clearance to go and live and clearance never came ? At some point I got so angry at this that I’ve decided to have all I wanted to have even though I still have HOCD. And it works out for the most part! I still don’t feel confident in my sex life, but all the rest is more or less normal,and not only is this ‘allowed’, but it actually helps to feel less broken
GummyDropGummyDrop
- Date posted
- 5y ago
HOCD is the worst I’ve experienced never really felt real happiness after HOCD hit me, we can talk if you want
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I appreciate are your comments! Its just that i am living that live i am living the life i would live even if i didnr have hocd. But im not enjoying it for 1 sec. By the life i would have without hocd i mean that i would actually LIVE this life instead of feeling no joy or excitement or sprak but only numbness, sadness and anxiety. Its like my life without hocd wouldve been the same but i wouldve lived it in another mindstate and thats what makes it good. I just wish i could live this life like the old me the girl who was alive and just not even knew what hocd was and just had normal problems u kno. Hocd didnt only took my attraction it tool everythinf. My dreams my passions my hapiness my joy. So there is litteraly nothin i want. I dont dream anymore.my mind is poisoned with this thing and even tho the anxiety is gone a lot im so dead inside. All my dreams are killed its just that when i think of my dreams they dontt spark anymore. They dont excite me anymore. All bevause im a completely different person now and its not the real me. And this person i am now cant feel the dreams its like i cant feel anything. There is one single thing i want and that is recovery. Litterly the only thing i want. From there i can maybe have dreams again. My dream is to have a dream u know i want to feel that feeling of wanting something again. I want that feeling where u get happy about dreaming something and sometbing u can live for. Its so complicated but u gotta undersyand that this killed everything inside me that was happy or passionate. I live this life now but i dont truly live it. I get it if u dont jnderstand me but its just that i dont have anything i want even if it has nothing to do with hcod. Its like hocd made everything anxious and seem boring purely because my identty isnt the same. I want to expierence my dream as the person i was before not like the person i am now bevaus ei wont be able to enjoy it for a singe second and i just want to genuine enjoy things. Im sorry for the long message lol im trying so hard to explain how i feel but its so hard
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🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊
- Date posted
- 19w ago
I can't do this rn.......
So I was on a hat chat gpt and it said that people who are non-offenders experience distress and anxiety and disgust and depression and they feel ashamed of being a non-offender like WHAT like that's honestly terrifying and I'm so scared because that's how I've been feeling like when I'm out I get anxiety too especially when I see a younger person I always been attracted to MEN my whole life can people turn into monsters and I don't even care if they have problems if there attracted to kids then there sick in the head like don't care like this has been sharing me soo much and the worst part about it is that they said some are in denial or suppress their attractions I'm so done...... I can not do this this is too much I would rather be gone from this earth than find out that I might be one like you have to be kidding me if you're attracted to young people and desire that you're sick and dead to me you're a monster I don't care like its disgusting. for this eole some people are suffering from POCD like me are scared to think about that and I'm terrified.
Dunkin2019!
- Date posted
- 18w ago
Feeling angry with ocd
I am so angry with ocd. I hate that ocd even exists. I wouldn’t necessarily say I wanted to be a mom when I was younger. I grew up without my mom around. But now my sisters are both moms and I see them and I feel like I’m missing out. But having pocd and hocd has definitely made me feel like it’s completely out of the question. I even made sure my fiancé knew that I didn’t want children/ feel like I can’t have them for fear of hurting them or passing on mental health issues. I was abused growing up and one of my old therapists told me that “people who are abused can become abusers”. That is something that I am not willing to risk. And even though I feel set on that choice, my brain still tells me that I’m missing out. So I’m constantly questioning if I truly feel like I don’t want them or if ocd is convincing me I don’t. Ugh. It’s just so frustrating.
MemyselfandI0
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I want my life back
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
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