ROCD (ex relationship)

Does anyone ever miss their ex and wonder if it was even the right choice to break up with them and you get the urge to go back? I sometimes feel this way even though I’m with someone new but whenever I miss my ex it makes me question if I even love my current boyfriend or not and sometimes I compare them both when I shouldn’t. I remember being happy about breaking up with my ex as I wasn’t getting the communication I wanted and maybe OCD had something to do with it but I’m not sure. My ex also tried getting me to go back with him when I was talking to someone else at the time not only that but our last call he called me all mad and accusing me of comparing our relationship to the one where I was talking to a guy when really I didn’t even compare them both at all. But it did shook me that he was acting like this but also i understood how hurt he was and I did feel guilty. But it’s just been hard and me missing my ex definitely doesn’t help with questioning if I love my current boyfriend or not as it just adds on more stress. Does anyone else relate to this? If so, how did you move forward?

Relationship OCD

Fr0ggy

Date posted: 1y

To add on I also can’t seem to have the confidence to post about me and my current bf because of me being afraid of my ex texting me about it on discord or assuming things and etc. Reason why is because when I was talking to a guy after me and my ex ended, he messaged me about it and later called me asking me if I cheated in the relationship when really I didn’t but it just threw me off and put me in a off mood. Ever since then I’ve been cautious of what I post on social media because I fear he’ll dm me back but also I don’t know why else I fear something happening than just me being scared of him texting me again.

fangirlinee

Date posted: 17w

Ir depends . Are u wondering as an obsessions all the things that you describe ? Or it’s a reasonable thing? Because I have Rocd ex theme and sometimes it feel like the urge to comeback or a sensation that I miss him but it’s like a sort of

Fr0ggy

Date posted: 17w

@fangirlinee Hi there! It’s been a while but I do notice that the thoughts come and go to the point where I once even forgot about them and was very present with my bf. I have blocked my ex and unfriended him on almost everything as I don’t wanna remember that past or get the thoughts again and also because it reminds me of how much I hurt him which I think is what brings back the thoughts and the feeling of guilt. But I am now confident in posting whatever with my current bf and have since then tried to leave my past behind and move forward. But lately I do notice the thoughts slowly coming back and I try my best to sit with it.

Fr0ggy

Date posted: 17w

@fangirlinee And wdym by a sort of kind of feeling?

fangirlinee

Date posted: 17w

@Fr0ggy Like a quick feeling of miss or sadness or nostalgic or that apoderar once in while

Fr0ggy

Date posted: 17w

@fangirlinee Oh yea I get that way too I also hate how my mind makes me think I want other guys attention too or panic if I find some guy attractive and then get unnecessary thoughts. Really frustrating and tiring 😓

fangirlinee

Date posted: 11w

@Fr0ggy Hello, it has been happening to me for a while that I have the feeling that I miss a particular ex, I have about three years with my current boyfriend, I have always asked myself this but I have never raised my voice about this, I know that I have toc diagnosed but it causes me conflict understanding or accepting that there are parts of us that will miss exes but that does not mean that we do not love new people. Clearly it's not a surprise of tears and things like that but it causes me conflict. A little wisdom, please? Any common experience? Advice?

Fr0ggy

Date posted: 11w

@fangirlinee Hi there! I now don’t really get those thoughts as much especially since right now me and my current bf are on a break from our relationship and I’m not sure what the outcome will be. But what helped me get through those thoughts is to recognize that it’s a compulsion to want or feel the need to express this thought to your partner. Another thing is sitting with it by telling yourself “maybe I do miss them or maybe I don’t either way I’m gonna focus on the now”. Journaling has also helped me a lot too as well as trying to distract myself with hobbies I like. But in a religious aspect you can remind yourself this Bible quote "Forget what happened before. Do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don't you see it?" Isaiah 43. It helps us remind ourselves to not dwell on the past for there is now something new ahead of us. I hope this helps and I pray that you will get through this! 😊

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

Need advice!!

Ok I need any and all advice 😭 please help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and feel deeply connected and happy and in love with him. My ex and I were first loves and on and off basically for 5 or so years until I met my current bf. During that time we both were toxic and back and forth and he did some things that were really hurtful. We never really had an “ending” or any actual closure to anything? I just kind of started talking to and liking my current boyfriend. I saw my ex a month ish ago at the bar and wasn’t very nice to him. I was like hyper aware of how I was behaving around him to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. I know he has had a really hard time moving on from me. Since then I feel like I have not been able to stop thinking about the past and am questioning a ton about my feelings. I do have ROCD, and I don’t know if this is solely because of that or a mix of that and the emotional loose ends? I don’t know. But I’m feeling such an urge to text him this whole paragraph I’ve drafted about closure, how I don’t even need him to respond, but I just need to get some things off my chest. I feel SO conflicted about sending it. I do not want to rekindle anything with him, but it’s just the principle of texting your ex that makes me feel like I am betraying my boyfriend now. Yet it feels like it’s weighing on me so much - and I’m like is ocd involved? I just don’t know if I should send the text or not. If anyone has been in similar situations or has any helpful advice I would really love and appreciate some because I feel so stuck.

Relationship OCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 16w

I feel like I want to be single… ROCD?

Lately I’ve been having moments where I want to be single and explore other possibilities, like new relationships or flings. Sometimes I even feel like I do not want to marry my partner. Those moments honestly scare me. In the last two days alone, I almost broke up with my boyfriend three different times. I love him, and I want to love him without these moments/urges to leave. I’ve been feeling especially numb and distant this past month, and while my OCD has been quieter, my connection to the relationship feels like it’s slipping. I feel like I might be glorifying the idea of being single, like the freedom and exploration seem so idealized. I’ve been looking for posts that sound similar to what I’m going through (yes, I know that’s a compulsion), and I’ve found a few that made me wonder if maybe OCD is more involved in this than I initially thought. I just really don’t understand how. Could it be a mix of my numbness and OCD? Could the urge to explore or the emotional flatness around the relationship be OCD showing up in a different way? One other thing I’ve noticed: whenever my boyfriend is sweet or romantic, I feel this deep guilt or just nothing. Like I cannot say “I love you” back without feeling like I’m lying. It makes me feel like a bad partner. I just want to understand how OCD might be playing a role in all of this.

M_8

Date posted: 12w

ROCD- help please!

My ex boyfriend broke up with me last summer and it was really rough on me even thought we only dated for a little while. He treated me terribly but I guess I wanted it to work. However during the fall I was healing well and met my current boyfriend. I knew him as a kid and we reconnected and started dating. It’s the most WONDERFUL relationship ever and I love him so much. However for the past couple months, on and off, I have been obsessively thinking about my ex, to the point of feeling so sick to my stomach. Just the thought will do it. I have been stopping myself from checking his instagram because that just makes it worse. I do not want me ex back at all and I am so happy now. I recognize these thoughts as intrusive and hurtful. I just want them to stop and be in the moment. Has anyone had a similar experience? What did u do? Also, I want to tell my boyfriend about this but I am unsure on how to do so.

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ROCD (ex relationship)

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