Im super scared

@Nicola$ But i feel i relate to most of their signs 💔💔 iam really scared I really can’t describe my state now

@star1232 Yeah I know, I know how that feels, it sucks

@star1232 It's like you are doom and it's all over, like danger is coming from everywhere

@Nicola$ Yees and everything is against you , even the 1% hope

@star1232 Yeah, pretty much

Trust me, I have tons of those

@Nicola$ But i do not think they are valid as mine 😭

@star1232 I think the same, but the other way around, I think yours are probably silly and mine are real concerning

@Nicola$ If they are silly I wouldn’t suffer that much

@star1232 I didnt meant it like that, I meant it like, whatever you say to me about you, I would just think your OCD is making you think that way

@Nicola$ I wish , i wish that what i have is just ocd but a big NO , this is just a realization that im not what i tought my whole life

@star1232 I feel the same way all the time, about my HOCD, here's the thing, before I knew this was OCD I admited I was gay, and I was happy about that, then I obsses over it, so, there's no way I'm straight, but you, this is so againts you, that you are literally being tour by it

@Nicola$ I also have the same story as you , at first i wasn’t anxious and felt ok 👌🏻 then I started ruminating

@star1232 Can we just talk somewhere? I'm feeling like shit now, so helping you migth help me

You would feel the same if you were scare of having a tumor, or of having Alzheimer, you would "manifest" symtomps, and it's much more easy with disphoria cause all the "Symtomps" are on your head

@Nicola$ I suffered from this in the beginning of my hocd , i was convinced i am a man since i am not straight, i completely disconnected from my self and femininity and every man i saw i felt i wanted to be him , i keep looking for bisexuals and lesbians who are totally feminine and love other feminine girls, i lived in a very depressive and anxious state where I suffered from attraction to girls and feeling i want to be a man , but then I started to accept a little bit the idea that being not straight doesn’t mean i am a man and i was convinced that i am not a man and always wanted to be female even if im a lesbian ( because i felt i relate too much with lesbian stories where they didnt felt comfortable in dating guys ) but then i felt like at least i am bi because i have that sexual attraction to guys and my first childhood love was a boy and loved him so much….. then boooom I started to remember very old memories where i wanted to imitate guys so much , where i wanted to have that masculine vibe, where i got influenced by masculine girls especially if they are feminine outside because i always hated to have masculine outside look or outfit, where i hated the shape of boobs and found them ugly , and the strangest thing ever is always when i read something in my head i read it in a masculine voice in my mind or masculine actions pops in my mind , also if i think to do something, i always get that image of me in a masculine way doing it whereas in reality i do it in my usual feminine way ( iam so scared that this is a hidden desire being a man )