- Username
- wannabe12
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thank you :) I went through CBT 2 years ago (had diferent obsession then) and I’m trying to apply tehniques learned there to this obsession but it’s kinda hard when what dad’s going through makes everything seem even more real. Btw. His lymphoma was discovered in an early stage and doctor said that it’s highly curable (he said that their success rate is at 95%) but the whole thing is pretty hard on everyone. I am planning on seeing a therapist soon.
First off, I’m so sorry about your dad. I had literally the exact same compulsion and obsession recently. I had a swollen node under my chin that did not go away for over two months. It came out of the blue with no signs of infection or illness. I had an ultrasound on it and it verified it was a mildly swollen node. I requested a biopsy which was denied simply because with lymphoma the nodes do not decrease in size, they dramatically increase overtime. As far as a genetic link in the disease, from my research there is none. Try and stop touching the node, that can prevent it from shrinking. My doctor said that mine will probably never go away and will mildly fluctuate in size. Essentially it’s scar tissue. No googling— it will only make matters so much worse. Are you seeing a therapist? If not, consider it. Especially with what you’re going through with your dad. I’m really sorry, again.
I had a enlarged lymph node in front of my ear for ages, was painless and all. For about a month or two I was in absolute agony thinking it’s something bad. I went privately to an oncologist and he not only discovered several more nodes but also said it is nothing to worry about and usually stays after some serious infection for example, or recent infection will do it as well. The node is still there and it’s been a year, and I went for a checkup and again it was nothing, only one of the nodes went down a lil tiny bit. So yeah, there are so many different reasons for the lymph nodes including hormonal issues as well and stress. Filling your life with good things and activities will help ❤️ if you do obsess try engaging in something else. If you say to someone don’t think about blue, they will think about blue. The only thing they can do to stop is think about red ❤️
Hey Girl, I’m kind of happy, I found your post! My dad was diagnosed with Gliomatosis Cerebri (brain cancer) 3 months ago...Since then my hypochondria is all over the place too...Not only I was in fear to have his illness as well, my nodes were also swollen, my doctor said it might be because of my wisdom teeth. As the girl above me already said, if you’d have a lymphoma they would be really big, you even could see them without trying. Maybe it might help you to make blood tests every month (I do). I hope we can get in contact, because of our similar stories. Good luck with everything and best wishes to you father!
I have had anxiety issues for years and have been in therapy for that. But a big change in my life made it spin out of control. Btw, I am a bit of a control freak. So, for the last year, health anxiety has reigned. It all started when I had a panick attack and ran out of the operation room where I had to go under for a very simple, preventive procedure (I was convinced I wasn’t going to wake up.) I faced it again and made it. But after that I have been going from one health scare to the other. Skin cancer, oral cancer, breats cancer, HPV related cervical cancer - went through each recently. These are accompanied by panick attacks, insomnia and anxiously googling symptoms and testimonials. Every visit to the doctor end with panick that I forgot to check other important symptoms or that she might not be taking me seriously and miss something important. Now I am worried about a lymph node under my jaw that is slightly swollen. I know chances are it is ok and it is not cancer, it’s my anxiety. But what if it isn’t? And on it goes. I just want to stop worrying and go a day without googling symptoms or health issues. I am waiting for it to pass as these periods of health anxiety are kinda like panicks attacks - they build up, they peak and then they pass. I am afraid doctors will stop taking me seriously (this week I saw my doctor for a melanoma scare and a sore breast.) I am afraid when my doctor doesn’t investigate further and I am afraid when she does. I know it is absurd (I recently googled eye cancer) but I can’t stop. Sorry for the long post, I guess I wanted to write it all down and share it.
I hate my hypochondria. I really fucking do. How am I supposed to tell the difference between my brain saying I’m going to die vs actually dying. It’s terrible. I feel so ashamed of myself because everyone thinks I’m an idiot for overreacting over such small things but I can’t help it. And now I’m obsessed with this lump on my vulva and I want to tell my mom about it so I can see an obgyn or something but it’s so hard because I feel embarrassed and I want to cry. I want to sob. This is all so humiliating, having my fucking brain focus on such things and it’s ironic how I always want to ask for reassurance about these things and show people but since it’s someone private I can’t do that!! Nope!! This is terrible! In my mind I have vulvar cancer and have up to 5 years, maybe more, to live— depending on how fast I get it checked out and what stage it’s at (according to google). I keep replaying my death over and over in my mind and it won’t stop I just need it to stop and the only way to do that is to tell my mom and get it checked out but that’s so awkward and embarrassing I feel so stuck even though I’m 18 I feel like an absolute child.
Here I am once again. I found a small moveable lump under my chin so I ended up going to the ER because i couldn’t wait to get in to a ENT. The Dr just felt it and said it’s a gland. I told her it doesn’t feel like the one on the other side. She did a CBC and said she isn’t worried about it. I can’t get it out of my head that she’s wrong. I have been looking at a Prayer request that went out from a well known radio host and read all the comments of people asking for Prayers due to them or loved ones having cancer. All I want to do is sleep, as soon as I wake up I get the surge of anxiety and panic. I fear death and worry IF there is no afterlife and this makes things 💯 worse. I’m tired
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