Selfish

This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.

Guys, does isolating yourself from society make OCD worse? Because I go out these days and I feel like my questions are illogical. Because it seems that alone, everything becomes bigger. It seems that we disregard everything. So something that you would or wouldn't do doesn't seem to have an answer because you don't consider the other. Is this real? Because for example, one question is whether I would take advantage of someone. But the question is, does that someone exist? It's not something that's in my head. In real life, we're all human and you see them that way. So your debt is answered with no. Because that's how you are, when placed in society. You would only do some harm if you didn't consider this, but that would be your values, right? So OCD asks some questions that disregard things, right?

Does anyone struggle with feeling like their ocd issues are not ocd enough compared to other peoples ocd? Is this an ocd thought itself lol