I keep feeling like I would find these things attractive and I keep catching myself thinking about it and agreeing with it and being like “yeah I would, oooh” and I’m like what the hell just happened??? Why does that happen?? I was so sure I wouldn’t do that but now I’m afraid All I know is I never be aware that they’re a kid till it’s too late, but at the same time I feel like I am aware that it is
if you dislike the thought of agreeing, then you aren’t agreeing. it’s intrusive thoughts. i read somewhere that intrusive thoughts are a reflection of our biggest fears. if you fear being a P, then you aren’t one, you just dislike the idea of being one. i hope i worded this correctly!!
@nooooooooooo Thank you!!!
Pretty sure our minds can mess with us, especially with ocd, just look it up to learn but of course, don’t feed it, tell yourself your mind is messing with you and that it’s okay to let go of this fear, give yourself permission to let go, or, u might have to face it head on, but I’d try dismissing it first. Apparently, we can face our intrusive thoughts, I’ve never tried that method before, usually I stay calm till they pass. That method scares me and I wouldn’t want to do that without a professional leading me
@Mental_Warrior Thanks for replying
Every time I look at a child now I have these feelings and groinials and thoughts that I just can’t tell if they’re real or not bc it feels like it’s real it feels like I’m denying I’m attracted to them or something when I just notice that they are cute and have like attractive faces/feautures? And sometimes it feels like I notice them like an adult :/ but sometimes like if it’s like a vid or something sometimes I think it’s someone older but then I see longer and I’m like oof it’s not 🫠 like ughhh I just hate this idk what to do and I don’t want to be become an abuser I’m scared like I’ll be like my abuser and i don’t feel anxious like before bc I had these thoughts come up since 2020
I swore I wasn't going to tell anyone this or even try to post about it but lately it been feeling like I have just been fighting with myself. I remember when I was a %100 sure that I wasn't the type of person to be creep twords anybody but now im so unsure, like one min I would know im not attracted to kids then the next I have to constantly ask myself if I am and even that I still wouldn't be sure or think I do want that. Imagies and thoughts would keep popping up in my mind and it feels like a boxing ring trying to just fix them, I remember when I would scream and cry to these thoughts and feelings but now I just feel numb.. it feels like my morals have been switched and im just in denial about me not being a pedo. I obviously dont want to be a pedophile but now it feels like thats just what I am now and there will be nothing to ever change that part of me.
Why is my brain telling me that I wouldn’t mind being a p, that I could live with it and be fine with it, and I am really a p because my situation is too unique…. I didn’t agree with it but I allowed myself to think about this, and it just made me feel like I did agree to it. I’m worried that I’m lying to myself, I really don’t want to turn to into this person, my WHOLE LIFE i was attracted to older people and never ever felt this way until now (false attraction) it makes me so convinced and it puts me in a dark space. It’s hard to think right now.
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