Am I ready for a new relationship after a recent breakup?

Has anyone ever had an intrusive thought that they have a crush on someone else while they’re in a relationship? I had an intrusive thought about one of my co-workers who is female. I don’t believe I am even gay but for a moment I had a small panic attack that I had a crush on her. I know I love my boyfriend and want to be with him but now I feel like I betrayed him by thinking about someone else like that even though it was an accident. I know I can’t say anything to him about it because I’m pretty sure the crush isn’t real and it would just make things weird between him and I. Anyone have any suggestions or can relate to this?

(sorry long post, here's backstory) 1.5 years ago I got into my first ever realationship, (I'm 18+ now) and there were extremely levels of turmoil. 2 ish years previous to this girl I was anxious about liking animals, liking children, being a rapist, or being a racist. But the thoughts weren't extremely bad and I could normally be like well ODVIOUSLY I'm not and move on for the most part. However 3 months into the relationship she said "if you like someone and don't tell me, and I found out later, I would think your raping me" (BAD PERSON AS STATED PREVIOUSLY) And ever since that moment I don't think I've been the same, all of the thoughts are much worse and in that relationship I couldn't go 30 minutes without telling her "I think I like blank" "I think blank is hot" then it transformed into not just being that but also being "for a second I think I thought u were fat" "I think I think you're ugly" because I went under the thought process of 'well I have to tell this person every thought because what if I think something that she would want to leave me for and I don't tell her' Now, I am in a new relationship and this person is the best person I could ever ask for, complete opposite of the previously mentioned person. However about 2 months ago the thoughts started again. I decided though that I couldn't get into the cycle of telling her every singlele thing because it would hurt her and not even help me. Currently I'm convinced I'm transphobic, she's trans and I am either convincing myself I see her as a man, even though I'm a lesbian so I ODVIOUSLY wouldn't date her if I did, or that I have a fetish for trans people, or that I am dating her for some other twisted reason. I refuse to bring myself to complete the cycle by telling her and being like "is this thought ok" but it's eating me up inside and I find it hard to enjoy myself, it takes up 75% of my waking thoughts

In my past relationship that lasted for years, I so many obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that I listened to like “you don’t really love him. You’re just pretending”. I told him when I would have these thoughts and I could tell that this was not helping our relationship when I would tell him, but the compulsions felt better when I did it. We eventually broke up, and even though he swore it was not because of my ocd, I can’t help but think that I scared him. Flash forward two years and I’ve met this other man. I am worried that my intrusive thoughts about relationship worries will get the best of me and I will end things before they even get good. I think I am more prepared for this time but I’m still worried. I wish I could just stay in the moment and not catastrophic everything.