A Woman’s Struggle with Sexual desire and Anxiety: Seeking Clarity and Support

Hello, I’m 22F. I have always had crushes on men and have dated men. I never really CARED for sex much but I would still do it. I watch lesbian porn or anything that stimulates the girl more/ what I would enjoy. I fantasize about getting with a girl/ wanting to do things with a girl because of how good it would feel. However, I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Before him, I used to really like another guy. I can’t differentiate between whether I am lesbian, BI, or just straight with normal fantasies. I can’t think/ imagine myself in a relationship with a girl but I guess it wouldn’t be bad to get with a girl at the same time. Sex is just sex. However, I started having obsessive thoughts about my sexuality 2 years ago since then I’ve been diagnosed with health anxiety also. I don’t know, could it be that I’m just not that into my current boyfriend that it makes me question my sexuality? Is it it possible that he might not be so attractive to me that it makes me feel / think what if I am not straight? How can you differentiate between intrusive OCE or the reality / truth of something?? I don’t recall ever having a crush on a girl but I still see certain men and acknowledge how good looking they are and imagine being with them.

Please someone leave any advice or similar stories. I had identified as bi and then had fears about my sexuality a few years ago, and decided on the term unlabeled to describe my sexuality to anyone who asked and it made me the most comfortable because i was confused about my romantic atraction and sexual attraction towards women vs men. Recently, seemingly triggered by pride month and people discussing comp het, while in a relationship with my boyfriend I have been dealing with fears of wondering if I'm really attracted to men at all or what attraction really feels like and being sexually aroused by explicit images of women I had seen by accident. I am worried that I am experiencing comp het or I'm in the wrong relationship or I'm going to hurt my boyfriend. I have also voiced all of this to him and he is there for me, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I have other anxieties about my relationship and worry if those are ocd related or not as well(such as worrying about limerence) but I'm just so terrified. I feel that just because I have ocd that doesn't mean I can have these experiences that other queer people actually have and it makes me worried that I coukd go years without ever knowing just for one day to know and my whole world to be flipped upside down. I'd rather die than for that to be my reality. Someone please leave advice or tips it's all so appreciated.

Hi, please be kind, this is quite a lot for me to open up about. I’m a 31 year old womanwith OCD and have had it for most of my life. Partly due to OCD and other things, cultural upbringing etc I’ve never been in a proper relationship, and as a result not had sex (not wanted a one night stand etc) but have always seen myself as eventually marrying a guy and having kids. My main obsession is worries about my family and harm but also for most of my life I’ve also been questioning my sexuality. I have never kissed a woman but seem to be obsessed with boobs and feel I am sexually attracted to women more than men, who I don’t tend to feel sexually attracted to but instead romantically I want to be around them, however I’ve only ever felt that with a few guys. I’ve only kissed a handful of guys and enjoyed only one of those experiences. Due to my confusion about whether it is OCD or whether I am queer I’ve identified as bi for a while, which seemed to fit. However the last few days I’ve been convinced I was a lesbian. I do compulsions, the am I gay quizzes, on the internet, looking at pictures to see my response etc which is characteristic of OCD but I also enjoy being around women and it doesn’t fill me with anxiety like my OCD symptoms around other themes. Is there anyone here who has had SO OCD but also discovered that they are queer and has trouble pulling apart which bits are ocd and which aren’t? I keep trying to sit with the uncertainty and tell myself maybe I’m gay, maybe I’m bi, but that doesn’t seem to bother me like statements with my other obsessions. I’ve been doing a lot of research on sexuality and think that also if sexuality is fluid which I think it is how does anyone commit to a stable relationship? I had a really bad mental health day last week, suicidal thoughts, extreme PMS where I looked through my life experiences and thought ahh it makes sense im actually a lesbian, eg. All the times ive wanted to hug my female friends or stared at them and the times ive been on dates with guys but then my interest just seems to fizzle out or I feel bored or felt uncomfortable with. Im not looking for reassurance just would like to hear from people who have questioned their sexuality and thing it’s is more than OCD or queer people with OVD who have similar experiences. Thank you