as soon as i see a girl looking slightly masculine or have tattoos my brain goes she’s gay and then my brain says the fact that you can tell she is gay means you are gay as other gay people can tell when someone else is also… anyone get this?
It's like your in my head. I've even seen photos of masculine women dressed in feminine way, and it is only the images of them dressed in more masculine clothes that make me feel off. I'm definitely in a recovery phase of OCD but there is a nurse I work with with a sleeve tattoo, and it still makes me feel a little anxious. Hope knowing you're not alone helps! Also, feeling like you notice masculine women (for instance) all the time is because your brain is triggered to look for it. It is like a leaky faucet, you don't notice until someone points it out and then it's all you can see.
@Midwestmother yes this is exactly what i get, i also get horrible waves of anxiety if masculine women lift their shirt up or something - so i get a huge anxiety wave that goes right through my body ending at my groin and i get a groinal response and my brain convinces me this is attraction - i watched women’s football today so i felt i was constantly in a triggered state - so so stressful
This happens to me. It doesn’t mean you’re gay. We have just grown up with societal expectations as to what “feminine” and “masculine” are “supposed” to be. I remind my subconscious that people can present themselves in ways that don’t fit the status quo and it doesn’t mean anything in particular. It’s like *I* know that but my subconscious is still used to judging by typical societal standards lol. Doesn’t mean anything other than what society used to instill in our minds (and sometimes still does).
I have this too and then my soocd convinces myself that I’m attracted to them and would be happier with a woman even though I’ve always wanted a loving relationship with a man and won’t settle for less
hi so i just saw this tik tok of a guy who said that he still goes to church and still worships God even though he’s gay because God loves him no matter what and my first thought was to repost bc i am also catholic and believe that anyone can be and i think it’s beautiful that he still has a relationship with God. but then all of a sudden i was like wait i can’t repost this because im not gay and it triggered my ocd into convincing myself that i can entirely relate to the tik tok because i am gay and i don’t love my bf and now im distressed. and im also having false memories of myself googling if you can be gay and catholic which would’ve meant that im questioning my sexuality but i even did that. and now i feel like what if this means i don’t love my bf. i’m so scared and i don’t know what’s real or not
i’ve been dealing with SOOCD for a while now. in the beginning i remember getting random thoughts about secretly being gay because whenever i see a woman portrayed in a sexual manner (like butt naked and/or doing something super sexual) i would get aroused. i used to brush it off because i just knew i didn’t want to be with a woman and i was and always have been only interested in men. I would only get aroused seeing those things in media and ofc porn but never in real life. I would even sit and stare at the content trying to see why i was aroused because it would only give me a groinal feeling and not the same attraction i felt when i saw sexual content about men (i had a HEALTHY libido growing up and all i thought about was men). i would watch music videos and not think anything of it but when something sexual came up or if a woman was nude or doing something sexual i would get aroused and as my anxiety got worse the intrusive thoughts started to pop up and stick around for longer. i tried to understand why it was happening and i realized i was exposed to sexual content at a pretty young age (thank you google) and i knew what sex was and how a woman “should look” during sex and anything that was even a little bit sexual made me aroused . Like me looking at myself naked would arouse me because i felt like “oh this is sexual” ykwim? and if i saw like lacy underwear i would be like “oh this is for sex.” in middle school the world history textbooks had pictures of statues with women without shirts and i automatically got aroused and i was concerned and confused but i realized oh i immediately think this means sex? like a woman only looks like that to have sex? i think my exposure to sexual content at a young age warped my idea of sex and what being sexual is? idk if what i’m saying is making sense. anyways in high school i noticed i started getting urges to watch any sexual content or anything involving sexual content whether it involved girls or guys and that triggered my intrusive thoughts even more. i still had and have no desire to be with a girl. I would rather never marry and be single all my life than even think of experimenting with a girl. basically i’m writing this all bc i was triggered by a cardi b post where she started twerking in a thong out of nowhere (i should’ve expected it) and i got the most massive groinal response and i got extremely anxious and i started thinking “you’ve always been aroused by sexual content like this your gay” “your lying to yourself” “this isn’t just ocd stop lying” “there was too much exploration in your childhood to mean ur straight” “you don’t even have a libido or attraction to men anymore but you get aroused to this?? ur gay”. and so i’m here ranting and not making sense. i miss being boy crazy so fucking much i hate living like this i used to be so BOY CRAZY that these things and experiences and thoughts never affected me but now that it’s all gone and it’s been so long since i’ve felt any of it the intrusive thoughts hit me harder. ok i’m done sorry this is all over the place.
Does anyone with so ocd get scared or feel like they r just going to suddenly realise they r gay. Like all of a sudden you’ll be like omg I’m gay and then I get scared like ong it’s happening to me Can any relate to this
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