Going through a break up, dealing with Hocd and being 10 hours away from home is just fucked up this week has been total shit I feel alone and I’m only going back home late November just hope I can make it that long.

I meant I feel alone because I’m single, she was there for me and now I feel alone.

@Mod22 I say work on yourself first and build a high self esteem, and you’ll attract the right people

@GummyDrop Yeah it was my fault that we broke up but yeah I get you I just want to work on myself it’s my final year next year I just want to focus on that

@Mod22 I believe in you it’s hard going through with HOCD but remember if you have a bad day come to this app and I’ll try to help you

@GummyDrop Thank you I appreciate it I feel like we just have to be more practical now feeling sorry for ourselves won’t change anything we need to start bettering ourselves by erp and cbt I just want to be better I’m tired of all of this but talking also helps too I appreciate the support we give each other

@Mod22 Yeah, since your active now can you help me with something cause you also have HOCD

@GummyDrop What can I help you with

@Mod22 Do you have HOCD as in Harm ocd?

@GummyDrop Homosexual ocd it’s really bad I had health Ocd before and it wasn’t as bad as this one my ocd switched themes

@Mod22 Yeah homosexuality ocd is what I have it’s sucksss and it hard to be genuine happy

@GummyDrop Yes it is and sometimes it feels real well what I can try to assist with is that you shouldn’t give into compulsions I don’t give in like 90% of the time although I have what we call the fake horny feeling i just pretend like it doesn’t exist but at the same time the mere fact that I don’t give into compulsions also makes me angry because I feel like I’m accepting that I’m what my ocd says I am but I don’t follow up on it too much I just have a problem of thoughts and over analyzing my surroundings ever since I had ocd I notice gays a lot and before this I didn’t even care

@Mod22 Would you mind helping me with a problem in my HOCD? One day I tested myself if I would be jealous if a girl likes another girl, to see if I was a lesbian. My reaction was that I didn’t want to date that girl but I didn’t want people around her. People told me that I’m being protective and it’s part of HOCD. Have you felt like this, rarely anyone feels like this I’m so dumb for thinking like this

@GummyDrop I’ve never experienced that I mainly just don’t want to be around anyone I’ve been doing a bit better one thing I can tell you is that hocd latches on to anything and everything just don’t follow up on everything your mind says just shrug it off please you are going to make things hard for yourself if you follow up on every thought

@GummyDrop And trust me shrugging these thoughts off will help you in the long run I promise you, I had so many ocd thoughts and I thank myself everytime I don’t give into them

@Mod22 Yeah at first I needed an answer to why I’m being so protective and I was worry that if I was jealous I would be gay

@GummyDrop Don’t give into compulsions, anxiety kills me everytime I have to read messages though I’m scared to be triggered but also it helps because it serves as exposure

@Mod22 I don’t want to date that girl, when shes near another girl , I’m worried that I might be jealous and then later I get sad to why I think like this. Does this sound HOCD to you?

@GummyDrop It is it latches on to many things just relax if you weren’t like this before ocd then it’s ocd try to do something positive like exercising eating healthier etc I watch a lot of movies lately and I’m enjoying it it’s 3AM this side and I’ve been consumed by all of these movies movies make it better and YouTube too just try to find something to take your mind off things for a bit

@Mod22 Someone told me that I’m just being protective

@GummyDrop It’s ocd there’s nothing more to it please just Find something that will help you take the edge off for me it’s movies and YouTube and music Find something that Will make you happier because dwelling on this thought is going to make you crazy please I’ve been there

@Mod22 What makes you think this is ocd and that I’m not actually gay

@GummyDrop Because you didn’t have these thoughts before and that these thoughts aren’t pleasurable to you if you were gay you’d love these thoughts and only fear coming out. You really need to calm down and find new ways to deal with this

@Mod22 Thanks there’s a therapy here but I’m not sure if u have to pay

@GummyDrop It’s free I tried it but I need a therapist

It’s so hard to focus when you live in the same building with your ex I will not stand seeing her with someone else she slept over yesterday because I was not feeling well and then said we should set boundaries I feel better when she’s around and now that she said this I have no hope. I’ll try to focus and do other things. My anxiety is high af right now

@Mod22 Oh man I can only imagine how hard it is right now. Do you have anyone to hang on with? Some friends or family who can stay a couple of days with you? Maybe you can go on a small trip? Anything to get some space without this shit

@scaredbunny I can’t go home because it’s expensive to go home. I can’t have friends over too because I live in a dorm I live in a totally different province or state if you from USA they speak a different language here and so nah I don’t have any family but being in my room helps sometimes I’m only anxious when I leave the room

@Mod22 Oh god, its some top tier shit... Well then all’s left is Skype, binge studying and getting exercise. I was going through a terrible break up when I was in Uni, and I too lived in a dorm, so I made friends with people I didn’t particularly like, just to not be alone all the time, and I think it helped.

@scaredbunny I just hope I make friends and change my life for the better I’m just glad I don’t give into compulsions 90% of the time what’s left is the thoughts