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2 years ago, I had an intrusive thought about my boyfriend. I completely shut down started having horrible panic attacks. It was me harming him like stabbing him thoughts, I was SO SCARED because it kept repeating and I felt like it was telling me I had to do it like the urge. Truth is, it was OCD tricking me. Only thing I can say don’t overthink about the thought it does NOT mean anything. Sit with it, write about it. Learn to not let it overcome you. Easier said than done! It took me awhile. It scared me so so much I thought I was losing my mind. Sending you love. It does get better!

Hi Carol, What you are experience is completely normal in the OCD world. I myself have had very strong urges that were terrifying towards both my wife and child. Much like Book Lover, I would either leave the room or have them leave the room out of fear. I have gotten to a point now where I challenge the thoughts head on and say “yep, I’m going to do it, let’s do it right now” and then watch as nothing happens because I am still completely in control and know that I would never actually do what OCD is telling me I would do. It takes a while, but you will get there ❤️

Hi, I just wanted to say that you are describing every symptom of ocd especially questioning if u really have ocd, it really helps to not react and ruminate on ur thoughts and it may make u feel worse and less guilty but in the end its the way to recovery, don’t try to reassure your self just be like “ok” to ur thoughts its super hard and it’s not a linear recovery but your not a horrible person, i struggle with this alot and I understand how debilitating it is sending love !!!