I feel seriously done. I’m actually a bad person

Sometimes when I feel false attraction, I’ll say things out of disbelief and fear, for example, I see a kid that looks older and I feel sort attraction so I panic and say “I’m attracted” “I think he’s attractive” “he is/looks attractive” ,, “he’s attractive” ,, “he looks handsome” along those lines… I panic when I say these and my brain uses it against me… I genuinely feel like a bad person. I feel like I’m genuinely attracted now and that I’m a bad person and that I need to accept it, I’m so scared. I don’t want to be this person but when I think about it, it’s like it’s not bad to be one and I don’t freak out and it makes me worry

POCD

TexasOCD41

Date posted: 29w ago

4 times- Thats how many times you used emotional reasoning " I feel" in this post. FEELINGS are NOT FACTS. OCD gives FALSE feelings. This literally means you can FEEL with 100% conviction that you are a Ped and have NO doubt and FEEL attraction to children... and it be 100000% FALSE!. If it were so easy to acknowledge this, OCD would not be classified as one of the top 10% most distressing disorders by the World Health Orginization. You HAVE to STOP using how you FEEL to be an indicator of truth and reality.

[Deleted]

Date posted: 29w ago

Comment deleted by user

King silly

Date posted: 29w ago

@Abuchs I feel less alone, thank you

TexasOCD41

Date posted: 29w ago

You need to start fighting back. When your brain comes at you with emotional reasoning " I feel attracted to this child, I feel like a bad person" you need to come back with " I may FEEL that right now,, but I KNOW its just my OCD and its a lie and I KNOW I don't need to give it my attention because I KNOW that will only make is stronger so I need to sit with these distressful feelings and stop compulsively seeking reassurance because I KNOW that will only feed this cycle I am in" combat emotional reasoning with logically reasoning.

King silly

Date posted: 29w ago

@TexasOCD41 Thank you for your helpful advice.

Anonymous

Date posted: 29w ago

I also struggled with not feeling like it was bad for a while, like not feeling that visceral disgusted reaction everyone else seems to have when I thought about it. Logically, the reason it is bad to be a ped is because children cannot consent, so being in a relationship with them would cause an uneven power imbalance that could leave them with trauma. In my experience, trying over and over again to feel that emotional reaction didn't really work, but I guess that's the nature of OCD. Feelings aren't facts, and as long as you wouldn't actually act on these thoughts, you're fine. (And for those reading this with real-event OCD around P-OCD, hang in there. You aren't your past either.)

🌊☀️ℛℴ𝓂𝒶𝓃ℯℯ☀️🌊

Date posted: 22w ago

I can't do this rn.......

So I was on a hat chat gpt and it said that people who are non-offenders experience distress and anxiety and disgust and depression and they feel ashamed of being a non-offender like WHAT like that's honestly terrifying and I'm so scared because that's how I've been feeling like when I'm out I get anxiety too especially when I see a younger person I always been attracted to MEN my whole life can people turn into monsters and I don't even care if they have problems if there attracted to kids then there sick in the head like don't care like this has been sharing me soo much and the worst part about it is that they said some are in denial or suppress their attractions I'm so done...... I can not do this this is too much I would rather be gone from this earth than find out that I might be one like you have to be kidding me if you're attracted to young people and desire that you're sick and dead to me you're a monster I don't care like its disgusting. for this eole some people are suffering from POCD like me are scared to think about that and I'm terrified.

Young adults with OCD

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 22w ago

Do you ever just feel like a bad person?

Does anyone else experience this lingering fear and anxiety because they think they’re capable of hurting someone? It’s killing me. I feel like I’m such a danger. I feel like I’m a predator. I feel like this awful person and I can’t shake it. I want to carry on with my day but I can’t. I don’t feel like I deserve it. I feel like I’ve done awful things. I can’t stop crying.

King silly

Date posted: 19w ago

Bad again

Pocd feels real again and I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted or not. can’t believe it got this bad again. I used to be able to go “no I don’t like that, go away” and now it feels like I do like it and want it, and it’s starting to linger longer so it feels more real. I’m avoiding checking but I’m so scared that what if it’s true. Is it because I have not been doing my exposures? I’m not sure, but every time a 14 year old person comes to my head, I keep hearing something go “they’re attractive” and it sounds like me so I panic, and it makes me even more scared because I’m not feeling bad about it??? I saw some kid at Walmart that had long black hair and my brain kept saying shit and no matter how much I say I don’t feel that way, it won’t shut up, i want to check 1000 times to make sure. But I know it’s not worth it. I’m trying so hard

POCD

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I feel seriously done. I’m actually a bad person

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