does anyone feel like they’ve completely lost desire for the opposite sex after a while? i’ve completely pushed myself away from it and sometimes it feels like my ocd is really real and that is what I want.. and i don’t feel anxiety towards it anymore but i just feel everything but myself, like im lost
This is me right now. I’m scared it’s coming true and I’m not sure what to do. Whenever I see a good looking guy, I think “he’s cute” and then my brain immediately goes “but he doesn’t have boobs” or “but he’s a man so he’s boring”. Not sure if that’s relatable to anyone but I feel hopeless but I’m trying to just accept how I feel on any given day at this point until I get back into therapy
@shopgirl yes ! absolutely. my mind tricks me into thinking that I’m lying to myself whenever im attracted to a guy
@Stitch123 Yep that’s so me! I literally giggled last night because I saw a cute guy and I knew I was attracted to him. But the groinals and anxiety I get from looking at women makes me discount my natural feelings of attraction. I kind of forget how being attracted to people feels before OCD, if that makes sense?
@shopgirl makes total sense ! i feel the same way… it’s so frustrating that sometimes i just accept that maybe it’s the truth and it really does feel like it, and that just makes it even worse because i don’t feel like myself at all
@Stitch123 Yeah same, it feels like a copy of me that’s super anxious and uncomfortable. Mine has started to feel more real lately too and it’s been scary because idk how to come back from it. Are you in therapy?
@shopgirl i am ! it really helps me a lot. i also take medication but i have a lot of ups and downs but I do think that i wouldn’t be in the place i am right now if it weren’t for therapy!! are you?
@Stitch123 Im happy for you! I’m not in therapy, and I know I need to get back into it ASAP, but money :/ My symptoms have been really bad for the past month after I moved cities, and I was spending every waking moment performing compulsions. Now it’s hard to imagine going back to before and it feels like I just need to accept it. How does your therapist help you when the thoughts/urges feel real?
@shopgirl i totally get it! im so sorry that you’re going through all that, especially without being able to talk to someone. big changes in our lives are so easy to trigger symptoms because the ocd takes advantage of our most vulnerable times. my therapist and I really just talk a lot, we try to figure out specific points of my life that might trigger strong ocd thoughts, even though most of the times it has no correlation with anything at all… but it really does depend on which kind of subtype your going through and how, so it’s really personal. she also makes me do some mental exercises that help, basically erp therapy. but again, it varies from person to person, and i hope you can talk to someone soon 🌻 you’ll get through this, we cannot let it consume us ! be strong 🤍
@Stitch123 I’m so happy you’re on a treatment plan that works for you! I was in ERP last year for a bit and I’m feeling ready to get back into it. It’s scary to think of challenging myself that much, but I’m motivated to feel like myself again. I miss her (me) so much. Thank you for the encouragement ❤️
This happens with so-ocd
Me 2 but keep your head up
Absolutely but from the other side (gay with SO-OCD). It’s the worst when I see someone I’d normally be very attracted to and feel nothing.
@tnc I want to add that loss of attraction is very common with OCD of any sexual themes.
I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
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